Picture this: In a forest of gay culture,
there is a belief that being a wolf (top) automatically puts you at the top (pun intended?) of the food chain...
…but dare to entertain the thought of being a fox (bottom),
and suddenly you’re simply seen as an entree.
it’s not just the gay community either;
even the straights won’t give you a nod of acceptance unless you’re the one dominantly slaying hole.
Enter J.P,
the rapping wolf with an edit to a past narrative in his recent scandal of being with another male.
on a podcast with some straights,
he found himself having to clarify his default favorite position.
in a forest where dominance is currency,
does being anything less mean you’re nothing more?…
so the straights are kinda comfortable if you weren’t doing the bending?
as long as you were the one slaying the hole,
you can “might” get the seat at their table?
the seat closer to the back by the bathrooms…
…but the seat,
nonetheless.
so many straights tie their self worth to how much pussy they get.there are other aspects like dick size that we’ll get into on a later date.
for a gay male to take the lead,
does that suddenly make it more acceptable in their eyes…
...or even in the eyes of other gays?
it left me to wonder about masculinity and being defined by dominance and control,
such as being the slayer than the slayee.
does this all reflect deeper insecurities about…
What it means to be seen as “less than a man”?
I think this was more of a ‘find the bright side of the story’ situation. He’s literally in their faces, so they aren’t gona respond the way they would behind his back. Him claiming top is just a chance to have a barbershop moment and avoid making the convo anymore awkward.
That said, tropes don’t appear out of thin air. That heteronormativity I’m always talking about is always rearing its head w yall gays. Masc=top, fem=bottom. Tops scared of their perceived masculinity being challenged by admitting that they like anything exclusive to men, and bottoms hoping to find their homegirl’s relationship/a niga to play wifey to. Bottoms love to say ‘there ain’t no more real tops’, after all deciding to not use their own dicks, and yall gays aren’t expecting heteros to have the same ‘role’ assumptions??
Either way, the straights may give a masc top a quarter compared to a bottom’s dime in terms of how they view their manhood, but neither amount is worth shit!
Well…it has everything to do with the optics and their perception of the man. If the man looks straight and still sleeps around with women he’s straight. But they get their feelings real quick when they come across real straight men who don’t make those distinctions between masculine and feminine, nigga you just gay period whether you’re the catcher or the receiver. In the real world and in the black community he wouldn’t be getting no hi-five that’s for sure.
One of my friends – white British – came out to his Co workers at a tech plant. They were building transport. He said he was gay and they thought he was joking because all we see in uk media of gay men is effeminate men. So when he saw his coworkers on a night out, they asked him if he receives anal, and his response was, “that’s none of your business.”
But straight – and gay – people will talk behind your back in the uk about you being gay. People make out they are not homophobic, but they are. The assumptions they make about you when you say you are gay often have nothing to do with your life, and they are all assumptions about sleeping around and drug taking.
My personal view of receiving anal sex is it takes a certain bravery and guts with physical pain and difficulties to overcome, and qualities such bravery and overcoming physical limitations is extremely masculine. I see it as very masculine even though throughout history, receiving anal has been seen as effeminate and even weak, the village clown.
Whatever, it doesn’t change my view of the man at all. But I don’t ask people what they do in bed. It’s none of my business. 💜