After That Last Entry…

i may not always write something that the foxhole will agree with.
that is the beauty of this safe space within the internet i created.
this is an environment for us to font.
i realize that fontin’ about…


religion
politics
sexuality
the saga that was work wolf

…will always be tough topics to write about.
it may offend some while it may make others applaud.
this wont be the first or the last.
with some of those things,
i can be ignorant af.
unlike others,
i can man up to my own ignorance.
as a blogger,
ignorance helps create debate and change minds.

in life,
we need others to steer us in the right direction.
that is why i depend on you all to do that.
i’m grateful for the commentary because i’m either:

a) left to change my opinion
b) agree to disagree

i thank everyone for leaving their thoughts.
no matter how controversial it may get,
i appreciate the feedback.
not only does it help me see another side.
but it also helps someone out there lurking.
we have a lot of dl forest dwellers who need to be schooled as well.
after that last entry,
i can see the pov of many foxholers.
offending is never my motives so i hope it wasn’t taken as that.

sidebar: i am definitely NOT a trump supporter also.
my past entries should tell you that.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

30 thoughts on “After That Last Entry…

  1. All good Jamari, all love! No matter what stance we take, we all get challenged in our beliefs from time to time, and honestly, sometimes, it’s hard to sift through all the verbage to ascertain what is right and wrong (if there are “rights” and/or “wrongs”). In my experience, the best way to see if you’re on point or way off the mark is to read through what everyone says: for and or against, and hear what the overall “voice” of the comments are saying. Everyone says things in different ways but you’ll be surprised to hear a recurring “voice” in almost every comment section regarding these topics. That tends to be a good place to start questioning if your opinion is well thought out, or still needs some development. We all have areas that we aren’t experts on and that’s okay. That’s the point of discussion. It’s about learning. About others say, and about yourself EVEN IF you still maintain your opinions, the point is to take away something.

    1. ^i agree d!
      thank you for reading this and leaving this comment.
      i read through all the comments and saw what everyone was saying.

      im not perfect and i don’t think i can ever be.
      the foxhole isn’t run on perfect.
      someone will be offended by something I have to say.
      but like you said,
      reading through the comments can allow me to take something out of it.
      i got through that whole ww saga by the comments,
      no matter how hurtful they were.
      i thank everyone for that!

      1. No problem! Whatever stance you take, I still respect you, and I’m not judging you. If I disagree with anyone, I do my best to leave my feelings out of it and try to approach it from a more neutral position so as not to hurt people while I’m just giving my opinion, so that a proper discussion can be had. Well at least that’s the point of my comments, Name calling is for people who have no argument to stand on, I know it’s other people’s style, not mine. All love Jamari!

  2. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or shame you for your opinion.

    You’re just as entitled to your opinion as they are theirs.

  3. You’re good Jamari. Just make sure that your opinions are INFORMED opinions. Otherwise the foxhole will drag you. That last entry was horrible lol. Let me know if you’re interested in reading some articles that better articulate the topic.

    It’s good that you’re open to listening. It’s great that you want to learn.

    One thing that helped me open my mind was following the right people on twitter. Amidst the nonsense you can find on there, there are some BRILLIANT people who will challenge your views everyday. Some may come off radical at first, but if you pay attention and do some outside reading…you’ll be surprised what all you will learn, and how your opinions will shift.

    1. ^i will say this and if this is wrong,
      please correct me…

      i feel like if you’re gay and aren’t going along with everything in the community then it’s an issue.
      i feel like you CANT have an opposing opinion,
      even if you don’t just like/agree with something,
      then it goes against the grain.
      you get dragged for it and made to feel like a bad person.

      so,
      my question is…

      we have to LIKE everything?

      1. No, we don’t. I think it’s more about respect and not treating other people’s existence and struggles as if it’s some “other” matter. It’s one thing to not like or agree with something, but I feel like that post struck a cord with many people with some of the things you said. I’m not saying that was your intention at all, but other people with their opinions certainly have those intentions and straight up aren’t interested in the well being of other people. You don’t have to like or agree with everything, I don’t, but be careful not to mix yourself up with the rhetoric of others who have different intentions. You can dislike and/or not agree with something while at the same time, acknowledging the struggles of others so as not to come off as disrespectful.

      2. I’m glad you asked that question. I think with social media, everyone thinks their opinion deserves to be heard, and it’s something we’re all “entitled” too. Yes, that may be true. HOWEVER, we don’t get to have opinions on facts. You either accept them, or you don’t.

        You can have an opinion that the shy is purple. BUT, facts say that is 100% false.

        When it comes to gay issues. There is A LOT of empirical evidence that proves many of these laws are discriminatory, harm marginalized groups, lead to increased rates of suicide, etc, etc.

        These are facts.

        Now, it may be true that you have facts that show a different perspective and justify the law. BUT, WE NEVER SEE THIS FROM THE OTHER SIDE. EVER. It’s always anecdotal, always prejudiced, follows stereotypes, offensive, ignorant bigotry. Always. Whether with black issues, trans issues, immigrant issues, etc etc.

        I ask myself all the time. Is my dislike for something based on any of the above? And if not, can I articulately justify (WITH EVIDENCE) why I don’t like it, or why it’s harmful?

        If not….then I got some learning to do.

      3. ^honestly speaking,
        i don’t think the entry came off disrespectful.

        i dissed trump within the entry by calling him “the orange hyena”.
        i said i “agreed with him”,
        but don’t get too comfortable with that idea.

        “the transgenders” wasn’t a diss to them.
        they are called “transgenders”,
        aren’t they not?
        that is what they’re called in the dictionary.
        i could have said “the trans”,
        like i have said before.
        i have said “the whites” in other entries.
        no one came for my head with that.

        i gave my opinion on why i thought it may have been a bad idea.
        i spoke the concerns that many i have seen on twitter and on various message boards.
        i even asked the foxhole what they thought.
        i actually wrote something to see where everyone’s mind was.

        disrespect,
        in my opinion,
        is:

        “ha ha.
        fuck those man women who wear wigs.
        i wouldn’t want no woman pretending to be a man in the bathroom with me.
        i support trump and his decision.
        matter of fact,
        he should put them on the deport list.”

        my entry wasn’t like that at all.

      4. Jamari, most of what you said didn’t bother me. I wasn’t saying your entire post was disrespectful lol, and forgive me, disrespectful wasn’t the right word. I’m sure there are going to be times where you might agree with your president, and there are going to be just as many (if not more) times that you disagree with him. BTW, if you agree with him in something, that’s okay, but definitely have good reasons for doing so. I explained to you in detail exactly which part of the post that I felt struck a cord within myself and most of the foxhole, and perhaps why you got the feedback you did.

  4. I like the fact that we all have different opinions on topics in the foxhole. For the most part we’re able to remain respectful to each other.

    To answer your question, No I don’t feel like being gay means I have to automatically agree with everything in the LGBT community but at the same time I feel like personally being gay gives me an different outlook on things. I know what it’s liked to be oppressed and not to have certain rights.

    There’s nothing wrong with having a different view point as long as you’re not coming across ignorant or offensive. And if you are coming across as those try to understand or to research to see why someone could see it as that at least that’s what I try to do.

    1. ^mikey,
      i feel you,
      but i feel like sometimes we all pick and choose what we give an issue to in the life.

      someone says he likes labels and he gets disrespected.
      i’ve seen it here and on gay themed message boards.

      someone says he likes being a bottom and its an issue.
      tops are either never an issue or “he aint no top because…”
      and they try to disrespect males who chose to not get fucked.

      you say you want to wait to have sex with the right person,
      our same community tells us we need to be whores.
      if we are not whores,
      they look at us like lepers because we want love.
      males allegedly cant find love with each other.
      that is just not suppose to happen.

      a male was dl,
      and wants to go back to women full time,
      and he gets dragged to the high heavens.
      there is no such thing as bi.
      you are either one or the other.

      we don’t want other males to be men.
      we call them “bitches” and “faggots”.
      if a straight male called us those same terms,
      we are ready to fight and yell hate crime.

      we are fighting the battle for the trans community,
      but we disrespect and oppress each other once that’s done.
      its very confusing.
      my post was “disrespectful”,
      but i’ve been disrespected by my own people for how i choose to live.

      what gives?
      and if these comments are remotely disrespectful,
      please correct me.

      1. You are so right here, there is always an issue with somebody who is just trying to live his life and it’s wrong. And that’s precisely why you should’ve known that your post was disrespectful. Especially about the rape thing and the segragation. These are two things that had been used against gay and black people. And you’re both, you should know better.

        1. ^but louis,
          i like your font,
          but your comment doesn’t make any sense.
          i never said i disliked the trans community in my statements.
          and also funny you said that about rape and segregation because the main concerns i’ve seen about this:

          black vixens

          so,
          should they know better as well?
          if anything,
          they know whats its like to be oppressed just as much as we do.

      2. I think the black woman is the most oppressed person ever (and then the fem black gay man). But that doesn’t stop them to be ignorant sometimes, especially when it comes to LGBT issues. They are afraid to be raped in restroom if we allow transwomen to use female restroom? Ok i get that, and it’s kinda legitimate. But let me ask you this, what exactly stop rapists to dress as women and go rape them right now? Nothing. Do they monsters even really need to dress ass women? They can just go in and rape whoever they want, it’s not like there is a security to watch who go in female bathroom. So the risk has been there and sadly will always be there. Just like the risk pedophiles rape little boys in bathroom, should we have grown men bathroom and young boy bathroom? There is a risk in everything, there is a risk that fathers (or even mothers) molest their children, should people stop having kids? Deny people rights is never the answer.

  5. Being doesn’t mean you have to love like or agree everything. But i think being, gay, blakc or a female should make your more compassionate and empathic toward those who are discriminated against. You should always ask yourself “what if it happened to me?”.

    And then again before you state you don’t agree with something try to get as much information as possible on the subject. There is nothing worse than an opinion based on ignorance

    We can always disagree with things or people, i don’t thing that’s the problem. People are not asking for approval, black people are not asking for white people approval, gay people are not asking for straight people approval, fem gay are not asking for people approval, transpeople are not asking for cis-people approval.

    But we all need to treat people with RESPECT and DIGNITY. Don’t dismiss people’s struggle just because you cant’ relate or understand.

    As longs as you’re not hurting anybody, you should have the right to exist and live in peace.

  6. ^”But we all need to treat people with RESPECT and DIGNITY. Don’t dismiss people’s struggle just because you cant’ relate or understand.
    As longs as you’re not hurting anybody, you should have the right to exist and live in peace.”

    agreeeeed!
    i think the gay community needs to get this together on all fronts.
    hell every community for that matter.

    1. Jamari, this was EXACTLY what I failed to convey to you. Louis also found the word I was looking for: dismissive. This is what I’m trying to say to you. At the end of the day, they are still people, is all.

      Thank you Louis Philippe.

  7. To me saying “The Transgenders” is like when white people use terms like “The Blacks” or “You People”.It’s usually followed by a statement that is negative.I never hear “You People” are brilliant it’s always “You People or You Blacks or The Blacks are always complaining.

    You mentioned you use “The Whites”,when you use that term are you generally praising White people or criticizing or condemning them? I find when people say “The Blacks” they are pointing that we are “others” them vs us.

    I just say black people,transgender or trans people,white people,etc

    1. ^i’ve fonted “the blacks” before like i’ve said “the whites”.
      there was no issue when i used those terms during the entries ive used them for.
      they were used in many ways in different entries.

  8. But i kinda feel bad about the draggation on the last post, so i want to tell you something i admire about you. No matter what, you’re always open to debate, you’re always ready to challenge what you believe in. It may not change at the end but at least you’re ready to listen. I’ve been on many blogs where if you make the mistake to disagree with what they wrote they go berserk on you or they block you.

    That’s why no matter what you post, no matter if i agree or disagree with, it’s all love for you Jamari <3

    1. ^thank you louis!

      i don’t ever think about blocking or going berserk.
      i appreciate the feedback even if its a heated debate.
      if i did all that,
      then i have to ask myself:

      “what was the intention of making this site?
      to have yes people?”

      not in the foxhole.
      my own friends don’t sugar coat with me.
      if ima make a site,
      we gonna get to the nitty gritty!
      its all love at the end!

  9. I lurk and post occasionally but that last post was just….no. Opinions are cute and all. But let’s be clear, not all of them are based on fact or are consistent. Folks can and will pushback.

    Also, we have to stop pretending that opinions are just that. We vote because of opinions. We engage in civic activism because of opinions. Our economic activity is informed by opinions.

    If our opinions are going to affect the lives of groups of people, they carry more weight. You owe yourself and others the burden of being informed. Especially folks with an awesome platform such as yourself.

    Perhaps a better way when broaching sensitive topic is to present a more balanced perspective. I definitely agree with the comment of interviewing a transperson.

    SN: I don’t believe not near one of you gays who like to pop up in the comments pretending nothing fazes you and everybody else is too sensitive over an “opinion”. Yall will dickride ignorance to death but meanwhile probably the main ones fighting in various Waffle Houses on worldstar bc somebody called you a “f*ggot” lolol

  10. It’s very strange to read all of these complaints. Everyone is screaming oppression and segregation but when black men were getting shot up by the cops, gays didn’t even want to support BLM because they weren’t for the gay community. They found ways to pick apart that movement to suit their own complaint. I didn’t see any white or trans gays marching in our honor as black people either. Everyone is being Uber sensitive over an issue that wasn’t an issue to begin with. What’s stopping them from using the bathroom now? Just because it becomes a law doesn’t mean there suddenly won’t be any issues with it. Black people couldn’t use the bathroom because they would be murdered back in the day. The trans/cis community can use any bathroom that they choose. What’s really the problem here?

    1. Rolling back the directive means that trans children will NOT be able to choose the bathroom that corresponds with their gender identity…if schools choose to discriminate.

      We have to be more nuanced and intersectional when we discuss BLM and “the gays”. BLM was started by queer black women. Many of the prominent members are gay black men.

      Queer black folks are impacted by both groups of issues. We participate in erasing ourselves when we suggest that LGBTQIA issues are somehow exclusive to white people.

  11. “i feel like if you’re gay and aren’t going along with everything in the community then it’s an issue.”

    If you believe in separate bathrooms for transgender men and women is a practical solution.. more power to you!
    We agree to perhaps disagree and keep it moving.

    the problem for me yesterday occurred when the terms rapist, perverts, and pedophile were being thrown around.

    Your post basically asked the foxhole, “OK, what if a straight man goes into a bathroom dressed up as a woman, claiming to be trans attacks real women if this law is passed.. does Trump have a point cause I sort of agree don’t get used to it..”

    That is essentially what you stated.
    is that plausible?
    Yes Jamari, that could indeed happen. You know crazy shit happens everyday.

    Rapists and pedos are going to do whatever they want anyway before or after a law protecting trans bathroom rights is passed.

    Whenever someone attempts to connect rape or pedophilia to help justify exclusion of trans people from public restrooms is criminalizing an entire group of people based on no evidence but rather ‘concern’ or fear.

    That is why you experienced pushback from myself and others.

    The issue is NOT b/c you feel separate bathrooms is a legitimate solution. The issue is not about you having an unpopular stance within the gay community.. although your stance IS indeed more popular among straight conservative black AND white folks..

    It’s about proposing theories that mostly exist in the hypothetical with no real evidence.

    This is about not about.diasgreeing w/ the gay community. It abouthuman rights, bottom line… not just trans or Lgbt rights.

    I would also like to end on this…just b/c some of us decide to avoid or dont understand certain segments of a population that doesn’t make them invisible.

"off topic", trolling, and other nonsense gets sent to my spam folder. other than that, play nice and let's discuss!