“You need to start talking to poeple.” Karaoke said to me the other day.

two months go,
she put me under her yearly nintendo switch family plan.
the premium one with the nintendo online bonus.
i was paying 4.99 a month for the regular one without all those features.
if i didn’t mention it to her,
she wouldn’t have known and was willing to help.
ironically,
after last week’s drama,
i remembered what she said and decided to tell her.
i’ve always been the “suffer in silence than ask for help” type.
it has been part of my survival technique for so long.

“I’ll figure it out.”

…but right now,
i don’t have all the answers for this current mayhem…

I need to find a new place to live.

my landlord doubled my rent and i can’t afford it.
last week,
it all came to a head and further made me see i’m not safe.
due to all this stress about my living situation:

My body has been filled with pain and anxiety.

so i needed to step away to be gentle with myself.
for those last four days,
i slept and did absolutely nothing.
it sooooooooooooooo helped but the looming anxiety of:

“You may be homeless.”

…hung over my head.
this has all come at such a bad time in my life too.
even though i feel weight of it all,
weirdly enough:

I feel a calmness in my spirit.

i’ve been here before.
we have been here before.
joblessness,
work wolves,
and death of loved ones have been challenges i’ve shared freely.
there is always something that challenges me for better.
i’ve only gotten there when i’ve asked for help tho.

If anyone has any leads,
or any advice,
please let me know.

even when i need to vent,
i’m going to be more honest about my feelings.
the way i’m choosing to look at it:

This is all part of my story for when I do make through to the other side.