leggo…

POSITIVES

i’ve been doing a really good job is holding myself accountable for negative thoughts.
it’s been a tug of war between myself and my old story,
but i’ve been working hard to stay in a good place.

everyone is so excited and gave great feedback about the book club.
it made me feel so blessed.

scvanger,
one of my straight male homewolves,
bought me an early birthday present.

a homepod mini!
i’m a tech nerd on the low and this has been everything since i got it.

i decided to treat myself for my upcoming birthday too.
i am a pretty good budgeter when i’m unemployed,
but my mentals will have me feeling like i’m gonna be broke and homeless.
so i went and bought:

an apple watch series 6.
i had the 3,
which i loved very much,
but it was slow af.
i’m so happy i got the upgrade.
my spirit was urging me to get it.
i usually follow that urge.

one of my fav home vixens that i met from my last job stays trying to keep me creative.
she wants to recruit me for an upcoming project she is working on.
at first,
i was doubting myself but i’m ready for this new adventure that awaits.

i have been on high key manifestation this week.
everything that popped in my mind,
i ended up seeing or hearing about shortly after
the shift that is happening in my life is coming quickly.

learning to appreciate my ever-changing moods.
being a cancer is tough.
one minute we good and the next,
we are in an uber down the emotional highway.

i have been minding my own business.
if someone hasn’t been checking up on me then i’m returning the favor.
even that wolf i was really into.
i use to always check on him via his socials but he showed me who he was a long time ago.
i finally caught up and going after wolves who are gonna give me the same energy i give.
being present in my life is sexy to me.

NEGATIVES

in certain situations,
i let my emotions lead rather than my logic.
the pretty vixen is a logical thinker and i really admire that about her.
she can really break things down logically to see the truth or solve the problem.
my emotions will have me thinking tthe worst than how they appear.
it could be the body dysmorhia that is involved too.

purging old thoughts from my mind is really difficult.
i still want to believe the horrible things,
but i’m seeing so many good things and feelings trying to push through as well.

why do i feel so awkward to go back outside again?

it has gotten so wild in new yawk that i feel like i gotta stay strapped.
my neighbor and i were talking about how our block has been wyldin’ as of late.
there are times i wanna go take a walk,
but it’s always something going on in these forests.
crime has definitely gone up all through the country and not just NY.
wtf is going on?

i still haven’t called mi yet.
i don’t think i’m ready tbh.

—

hoping for this upcoming last week before my birthday is filled with blessings.
let’s make it a good one foxhole!