this past weekend,
i celebrated my birthday.
it wasn’t a grand affair with a huge guest list and party favors.
no one was doing coke in my bathroom.
no big shindigs or dinner plans.
i spent it with someone who is really special…

Myself.

me,
him,
i,
and getting it in with the boys.

Sidebar: this show is crazy.
I’ve become an obsessed stan.

for years,
birthdays were a sore spot.
growing up,
due to being held capative in the jehovah’s witness,
it was a “sin” to celebrate the day you were born.
Mum tried to make them a little special since she wasn’t a witness,
but i wanted to be popular enough to have huge extravaganzas.
i wanted to be appreciated and celebrated.
they often went unnoticed by the people i wanted to celebrate with the most.
usually the wrong people tbh.
every year,
i had sky-high expectations that always came crashing down.

…but now?

i’ve learned to finally let go of all of that.
people will be who they are and there’s no point in getting my hopes up.
the crazy part tho?
without those expectations,
i got more than i ever imagined this year.

My phone was blowing up all weekend with birthday messages from people i never expected to hear from.

in not expecting anything,
i received everything.
maybe that’s one of life’s hidden cheat codes?
letting go of expectations and finding magic in the unexpected.
i don’t have all the answers,
but for now,
i’ll take it.

lowkey: the crazy part is i wasn’t phased by all the messages.
i was grateful but i moved on.
i kinda didn’t care because my expectations are low.
wow.
my true antihero arc started.