the worst case of being ghosted i’ve seen in a while

dating in this life isn’t easy.
it’s the one process that i always hated doing.
i know that if i want companionship or dick,
it has to be done.
it’s been so much games tho,
i stopped doing it.
you think you meet someone amazing and…

this morning,
i was doing my regular twitter scroll and came across this.
it made me feel triggered af

“IS THAT WHAT YOUR MOTHER TAUGHT YOU TO DO?”
*nicki minaj voice*

Would it have really killed that asshole to have lunch?

like,
it’s one thing to tell someone you weren’t interested

But to point out someone’s flaws?

i thought that was really disgusting,
but it’s the story for many of us in this life.
being ghosted horribly is what started this website,
tbh.
it was with a wolf i met off a4a back in the day.
he wasn’t anything special,
real regular,
but i was high-key attracted to him.
we were talking for a little minute.
after a proper screening,
i invited him over to my crib to mayyyybbbeeeee have him smash.
he wanted me to come downstairs first.
i got in his car,
he looked me up and down,
made up some excuse that said he had to go,
and i ain’t heard from him since.
that was in 2009.
thanks to his foolishness,
i ended up making a success website that i can font about shit like this.
what baffles me is…

Our looks are so tied into “who we are” in this life,
we can’t even make solid friendships

there are males who are attracted to me that i’m not attracted to,
but i won’t deny a friendship with them.
the way how i see life…

His friend/cousin/co worker/whoever might be your future husband.

nah nah nah…
these assholes never think that far into the future tho.
folks could stand to be a little kinder.
i’m sending nothing but good vibes to the victim in that tweet.
no one deserves to be treated like that.

lowkey: jackal better he glad his whole shit didn’t get exposed.
i’m sure black twitter would have found things he needed to work on.

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

19 thoughts on “the worst case of being ghosted i’ve seen in a while

  1. Folks are ruthless. The gays especially. This why I’m not for online dating. People can’t even turn ya down with some kind of dignity.

  2. Man, what a disgusting arrogant low down to do to someone I swear this society is just so full of degenerate bastards. I but his dick got so hard when he did what he did I wish I could see how karma will have its way with some of these people because they are in for a rude awakening when life gets a hold of their asses and wear their asses out!

  3. People like that, you should probably really thank them in the end, no doubt he was a Grade A Fuck Boy and he saved him a lot of time and energy by being himself. I have a friend who is just like this about looks and appearance, like he will not give you the time of day to even be nice if you are overweight or not attractive. He tells me that I am too nice because I will at least be cordial to anyone who acknowledges me for the most part as long as they are respectful. I have been the one in the room who was overlooked before, that same person you overlooking today, can be a superstar tomorrow. I am a witness, as someone who has transformed over the past 8 years, I love to see the dudes who curved me now in my face low key flirting now that I have a few muscles. I think about my homie and dudes like him how they are going to go crazy once their looks and body fade and they are no longer the toast of the town. When those looks start to fade and they get old, they usually end up with anyone who will pay them attention. It will serve you well to remain humble.

  4. I can respect the guy that sent the message to the guy he was going to have a date with. The tone the message was sent, was not in a rude manner and he gave him advice on why it wouldn’t work and even gave him a compliment. He was smart to send a message, because we don’t know if the other person would have became violent or made a scene. Also, instead of leading the person on, he let him know upfront. It seems as though the person may have been using a filtered or older picture. Also, he may have dodged a bullet with the person posting his message online for the world to see, it shows that the person is possibly messy.

    1. That’s not upfront. Being upfront is telling someone to their face. Hell, or even calling would’ve been better than a text. And how did you come to the conclusion that the person might’ve been using a filtered picture?

      1. Kent,

        “That’s not upfront.”

        Upfront – adjective

        bold, honest, and frank – “He’d been upfront about his intentions.”

        He apologized and informed the guy why he couldn’t have lunch with him and let him know that he is handsome and offered him words of encouragement to hopefully encourage him to make lifestyle changes to become physically fit.

        “And how did you come to the conclusion that the person might’ve been using a filtered picture?”

        He stated “You’re just not my type physical appearance wise.” (either he used a filter, older picture, didn’t show full body or didn’t exchange a picture with the person, he was meeting)

        Also, calling the guy could of led to a verbal argument on the phone, since this guy didn’t have a problem posting the text online for the world to see, is giving me a red flag.

    2. LMFAO. Thats not a compliment buddy. If someone says to you “I love you but I hate you” does that make it a compliment? No it doesnt. If anything it was a backhand compliment.

      1. D112,

        Do you feel it is a compliment or a backhand compliment?

        verb

        Compliment – politely congratulate or praise (admiration) for something.
        ex. (He complimented nursebromo on being handsome.)

    3. ^huh…

      i can see your point,
      but telling someone they are handsome,
      but they have to work on some things is rude af.
      we are so concerned about what the person behind the text said…

      What about the feelings of the person who received the text?

      what if he’s struggling internally?
      he’s thinking he finally found someone he could connect with and that the text made him go and commit suicide?

      like,
      i thought the text was rude and you can tell the person was really hurt about it.

      1. The situation sounds like a critique and I can also see what Huh is coming from. I definitely don’t mind if someone told me I lacked what they were looking for and yes part of life is getting judged and it can hurt us with feed back. However it would have been considerate if the guy helped him work out that physical flaw to see the potential and maybe in the long run over look the flaw. Ppl put on fat and go through a phase in life. I know a few personal trainers that look like eye candy but then let it all go.

  5. Hmm… so many thoughts and things to font. Why are gays so superficial? Why are gays so mean to one another? Now the text itself isn’t too bad. He could have left out the jab or backhanded compliment. But he was straight forward and honest. I would rather a text then him not saying anything at all or coming to my face and possibly causing a scene. Don’t waste my time and coins with a charity lunch just to let me know that you aren’t interested. You can keep that. On the other side, him posting that on social media is messy and uncalled for. He sent that in private so why blast him? It’s not his fault that you overhyped a potential date without making sure.

    Gay dating definitely takes a toll on the psyche. I’ll be back in the gym tomorrow to get back to competition size. “Straight” guys love my thickness but the gays won’t accept anything that isn’t skinty or muscular. Le sigh!

  6. I know I may get dragged for this but that’s why I only fuck/date dl and/or attached men. Those men typically don’t care about looks and just satisfied with some ass and/or companionship. Now I’m far from ugly but I just don’t have time for superficial gays!

  7. It’s not just gays, straight men pull this BS too. It’s how people act in our society today. Look at the current president who just lies and insults people to their face and acts like observing even the most basic social graces is a major problem. He’s extremely insecure and fragile, and that’s what leads to people acting out like this.

    Why not either go to the lunch or politely say something came up, and then be done with it? No need for the backhanded attack or faint praise. Who does that to another person? Who TF is this ghost to be telling someone he doesn’t even know and has agreed to meet that he needs to work on himself like this?

    What goes around comes around, don’t think it doesn’t. Being cruel to other people brings karmic and cosmic blowback. That person who decided to pull this BS will look up and be iced/ghosted himself and then wonder what hit him. You don’t stay cute forever and if you don’t have a personality, good rep, etc to fall back on, you gonna end up in a trick bag yourself.

    In the end, treat other people with respect, esp. other Black gay people. What you put out into the world comes back to, esp. when you least expect it to.

  8. Jamari have I not been screaming this from the mountaintops for years?!

    Fuck shit like this is so common it’s sad smh

    The thing is everyone likes the same generic thing physically with no regard to values or personality.

    I get you won’t be physically attracted to everyone, but gays want instant, lustful attraction from jump. Furthermore, not being attracted to someone physically does not mean they are unworthy of being in your life.

    They don’t learn until they’re considered old at 35 and have to pay guys their physically attracted to for sex and company🤷🏾‍♂️

    Dudes straight up say “I don’t need anymore friends”. Gotta be honest about what you want…a connection or a trophy you feel you deserve for some reason.

    1. I don’t think that’s a “Gay” thing as much as “Man” thing. Men are visual and very physical creatures. That’s why we can meet somebody one hour and next hour fuckem. We are at least at our core straight forward in that way. Now if you want to argue we are in a instant gratification society collectively then I can get behind that. Society right now is everybody seems to want everything there way with minimal regard for someone else. Sad but its the time we live in.

  9. Honestly I think dude was just being honest. I have seen people have entire lives wasted by a person who was never really into them. Better he find out that the guy is not into him now than get into him and find out later. Hell I had a friend that was meeting up with some dude (this was before the age of social media). We met him at a mall she went one way, another friend went another way, I went down the middle. She was on the phone with him he was saying where he was long story short I was stand right next to him and he looked completely different than he described!!! I mean completely!!! She ghosted and I agreed with why she did it. I told this story to say at least dude was honest, I mean he could have kept that last part of the message but still people backinthe day or nowadays don’t even give that much of a courtesy. Honestly everybody is playing a game of safety so it is what it is. Love Will come when it comes just live life until it shows up!

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