the handmaid gay

How do we measure masculinity in the black community?

Is it in the depth of our voice,
the weight we can lift,
or the quiet battles we fight when no one’s watching?

i’ve been cool with cheaters,
liars,
and even a few abusers
who were all straight.
the wild part is…

I was the problem because I’m gay.

there were straight males i thought would genuinely have my back.
i stood up for many of them when their backs were turned and others had knives.
instead,
all because decided to assassinate my character about being gay,
they wouldn’t even stand next to me out of fear of association.
and just like that,
all the times i was a loyal friend or a shoulder to lean on?

null and void.

It’s only by the grace of God I didn’t become a bitter and bloodthirsty jackal.
In another timeline,
I’d be a heartless wolf too.

when i saw tank talking about homophobia in the black community,
only towards black men,
it struck a nerve.

interestingly enough,
they always paint tank as gay even though claims straight.
he proved his point with john gaines jr and folks assumed they were fucking.

so i had to wonder:

Did people see me as less of a man?
Even though I was stronger,
tougher,
and more of a fighter than half those straights I knew?
I’d be a better man to their vixens and probably fuck them better too.

most of those straights i knew were straight-up cornballs tbh.
no matter what i’m going through…

I’m always the one holding it down,
showing up,
and I’m always the one they run to when they need a solider.

…but them?
they were all fickle,
two faced,
sassy,

and can’t even stand up for the people who fucked with them the most.
hell,
i even played video games better than them too.
funny how that works,
isn’t it?

lowkey: don’t coddle some gay males in the black community either.
we can be just as problematic like our straight counterparts too.

lowkey: tank.
mmm.
the story he told about having that reality random hooked after sex…

…it lives rent free in my head.

2 thoughts on “the handmaid gay

  1. Tank was keeping real in more ways than people realize. The truth is, being homophobic as a mindset is very low-brow, low-IQ. When he talked about the world being small because we are more connected and people have become more visible, and when he talked about people never leaving their cities and only knowing their 4 blocks, I felt that.

    As someone who is educated and traveled in my circles, homosexuality is just not the main issue, and my circle is predominantly Black. In the Black community, there are real issues that need to be addressed, and the LGBTQIA+ community doesn’t break the top 10.

    In my opinion, this is really only an issue for the 30-year-olds and under. People who don’t have enough life experience and live and breathe by other people’s opinions of them. This homosexual mass hysteria is a cheap way for the young to get clicks and views on their social media content in order to make money from people who are lost and uneducated.

  2. Not an uncommon narrative. Some straight guys will rock w you, but suddenly get amnesia about the kinda friend you’ve been, at the smallest hiccup. Meanwhile, they never run out of reasons to excuse their fellow str8 friends’ extremely ____ moves.

    And Tank is that dude. He’s smart enough to know that he’d be a damn fool to push away gay fans when he looks like that.

    That host was wack tho. Negro is almost 50, deciding he deserves to have a platform to sit on in his gay stylist influenced tight ass outfit, but talking about how a gay man finding him attractive made him uncomfortable. SMH. The 1 thing I’ll give him an inch on is him alluding to the fact that the guys looked ‘like him’ (see: masc or ‘regular’ in str8 terms). Many times I’ve witnessed this extreme dichotomy of discomfort w a fem guy as a friend, yet being able to laugh off flirtatious, surface level jokes, but the exact opposite w a more masc leaning gay guy. But I digress. Straights are dumb.

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