f0xmail: How Can I Be Numb To Good Dick After A Hook Up? Help!


Hey J,

Hope all is well with you. Visiting your blog everyday is like a ritual for me. Whenever your site is down I panic haha, keep doing your thing, you have people who really enjoy your content. This is going to be lengthy so sit back and relax.

Anyway I wanted to come & talk to you about men. Why is it so hard to find a cool guy who you can mess with on the regular and isn’t full of shit? I know how dysfunctional gay men are when it comes to relationships so I never ask that from a guy. I don’t need that extra in my life just yet. Because to me it’s a recipe for disaster. My time will come gradually by the grace of fate. Not force.

Now I’m a tall (6’3) muscular (Trevor Siggs body type) student/model. I have ZERO problem attracting men (and women even though I’m fully gay), and it’s always been that way since I was in school. However here’s my gripe, it seems like the ones that I like, will sleep with you and then act like you don’t exist after that. How are people so unattached to their emotions? I know you shouldn’t expect anything after a hookup but damn.

Two days ago this Jamaican guy from Canada visited my city for work, he works in real estate. He was really muscular and was packing. He said he’s planning to move to my city soon. Mind you, I’m 20 and he was 30. I generally like my men a little bit older than me. He hit me up on grindr and asked me to come to his hotel room so I came over that evening. I walked into his hotel room while he was on a conference call but once that call ended this man gave me this work!! (if you know what I mean). He was so passionate, he loved kissing, he fucked me in every position and knew my limits, he knew when to be gentle/slow and when to pick up the place and went steady with me until I came. He even fed me grapes through his mouth after that afterwards. Everything was like a movie. After that he took me to a 5 star Chinese restaurant that was on the ground floor of his hotel, we spoke and then he drove me in his car to his gym. When he dropped me off at my place he told me to stay in touch with him and he said he’ll hit me up before he leaves to go back to Canada.

I messaged him the next day just to say hi and he completely ignored me. Now my thing is this, I completely UNDERSTAND when guys just want to fuck and go. Trust me I’ve been there. However why go through all that to take me to dinner and even LIE about wanting to stay in contact after that. I never asked this guy to stay in touch. HE DID. Why do all of that if you just wanted NSA one night stand? It got me triggered and I feel like I’m already becoming jaded at such a young age. This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with a liar. Here’s the thing though, I learn lessons through every fuck up that is done to me by other guys so I know I’ll be more vigilant and good in the long run. All of this came after I took a two month hiatus from dating apps because I wanted a break, however my male hormones kicked in and I was in need of sex.

But I just wanted to ask how to have sex and not get attached? Because when a guy really treats me good it’s hard for me to separate my emotions and draw the line. I wish I was numb to it all.


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