i saw something on daily post the other day.
it was:

“write a letter to your 14-year-old self.“

well, i decided to take on the challenge.

Continue reading “Dear Old Jamari…” →

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS…

Okay, so I have a dilemma hear. So I’ve written to you twice in the past. Once was about how to score a wolf in “The City” or as you like to call it, “The Concrete Forest”. So that was kind of a bust. So I really just got used to sticking to myself, and I got this mentality, that I needed to allow whatever is meant to be to happen, and let the chips fall into place itself. So I decided to stop looking before I eventually fuck shit up for myself, and let love, lust, a relationship, whatever you wanna call it come to me. So I’m doing my usual on Instagram, posting pictures, liking pictures, and I get a new follower. I don’t get hype over followers anymore because most of the are obsessive DL daddies or people looking to follow you, fuck you, and leave you that same night. I’ve had a bad experience with Instagram as I told you before, this guy gave me his number, and once we started talking, he started getting crazy via text message. So ever since then Instagram has been nothing but entertainment for me, nothing I take seriously. But anyways back to the story…

So I’m on Insatgram and I see this cute guy following me. He looks my age or around my age (I am 18 btw). So I follow back, he likes some pics, so I like some pics. So I decide to be spontaneous and leave a comment on his pic asking him for his FB. He has no FB so he gives me his Kik, so we begin to chat on there. He seems like he communicates well, he seemed nice, respectful, kind, sexy, mysterious, sweet. Only thing that bothered me at that point is that he lived Upstate 5 hrs away. All the things you look for. But everything was going to perfect. Until, I asked him how old he was. Jamari, he replied:

16.

Now I know I am 18, and he’s 16. To many two years ain’t nothing. But when you’re a teen, and in this Lifestyle, it isn’t cool or normal to talk with 16 year old. So I became apprehensive and I joked with him about his age, he joked back about how young he was, and joked and called me old. He was just so damn cute. So we exchanged numbers and hit it off.

We’ve only been talking for like, 18 days, but well into the first week it was just a closeness I felt with him. We would ooVoo, I would talk with his sister, we would have late night “ooVoo sex”. I just felt a connection with him, a bond, I felt like he was my distant lover, I felt like he was my younger brother. But things were moving too well, and then stuff got complicated. Even though were only two years apart, we are at two completely different stages in my life. I’m 18 heading off to my freshman year in college, meanwhile he just turned 16 a month before we start talking, and he is starting his junior year of High School. He has to ask for permission for everything, he only has one lap top so he has to ask his dad to use it all the time. And our schedules just got so messed up we began having to schedule time to talk, so everything just got harder and more stressful.

So long story short, I caught feelings for dude fast, as well as he did with me. However, things have switched gears already. I feel like he wants to be the one in charge. People will think because I’m oldest it would be me, but he is VERY Headstrong, he knows what he wants and likes. We argue a lil, but its nothing. I want him to come down one weekend when I have the free crib so we can chill and do some other “stuff” you know, fuck. But he has to ask his dad, and we have to plan for him to leave upstate on a Friday and have him back by Sunday. Jamari, I like this guy. Today he told me “he has love for me” and I told him “I have love for him” and we both know this is growing into something special. But I just can’t deal with the kiddie bullshit. The going to school and getting hype about school fights (yes, he text me about how happy he was that he saw a fight), I can’t deal with his immaturity, he seems to have communication skills, and he has trouble expressing his emotions. I can’t deal with the asking your parents for everything, I’m 18 now, I have my diploma, I’m off to college in January, I don’t need her permission for shit. He has to ask his parents for everything, and he just doesn’t have that much freedom to leave and spend this weekend we’re planning to be together. He’s a special guy, but his age, immaturity, and where he lives, gets in the way of us progressing. I like him a lot but I’m still weighing out my options, because I’m only 18.

Jamari, what should I do about this situation. I know I come off as a kid, but I have my stuff together, and what I don’t I am trying my hardest to get in order. I need your help bro.

P.S: I love you and everything you have accomplished with the site. You’ve created a place where it’s okay for us to communicate no matter how we live our lifestyle. It’s very judgement free, but fun. Thanks. Wish you well with everything.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: This Young Wolf Wants To Be My Daddy… But I’m Older Than Him. Help!!” →

Lets do this!!

Question

hi jamari love your blog. i am sort of in a bad situation. i am 17 and in high school this guy i had a crush on i found out doesnt want to be around me because he thinks i am gay. he acted very standoffish and that kinda clued me in. it really hurt my feelings. i never tried to come onto him or do anything suspect. from the first time he met me, he acted weird. he would sigh or turn his eyes when i would come towards him. not to mention he hangs with a bunch of catty females who also talk about me. how do i get past this?  funny enough, people think he is gay also even though he is masculine and he hates gay people. i dont get it.

the picked on fox

Continue reading “f0xmail: The Straight Wolf Who Recogzined His Gay Self” →

The need to be liked and appreciated is a BITCH, ain’t it?

I think it all started from our parents.
As kids, we did whatever it took to get their attention.
We did something good, and we got rewarded.
We did something bad and we got punished.
That happened until we got into school and we did things to get and keep our popularity.

Which group did you fit in:

Class clowns
Jocks
Cheerleaders.
The Nerds
Losers
Band Geeks
Emo Kids.

When we leave high school and get to college or even the workplace,
it seems those titles still matter.

Is life still one big high school after high school?

Continue reading “YEAH, WELL YOU AREN’T COOL ENOUGH FOR ME ANYWAY.” →

So I was turned out mentally by this comment Killa left Saturday.
It can basically be added onto the entry I just wrote below.
He left it under the epic entry: How To Have Premium Pussy (Without The Pussy)

Check to see what he said…

Continue reading “mental homework (4)” →