Tag: foxmail
foxmail: “We clicked, he smashed my brains out, and ghosted after. Help!”
FOXMAIL
Hey, first let me say i admire you & your blog & tho i rarely comment i have been visiting these blog daily for about the last 5 years faithfully. Continue to shine, florish, inspire & walk into you purpose Jamari YOU are a lot of US.
So heres the thing i am a very discreet guy from a very small city with the chances of meeting someone of substance & on my caliber are slim to none. I have a good job, im establishing myself and elevating in life and in that aspect in life im content. However im in my early 30’s & im beginning to become a little lonely even though i don’t have a problem with being alone but i would be lying if i said that i didn’t want that happily ever after.
Last summer i felt as tho i may have had a little too much “fun” & it wasn’t getting me anywhere so i called myself taking a vow of celibacy until the new year. The stipulations were that i wasn’t gonna give up the goods until i found a nigga that was “worthy” of all that i have to give and i succeeded. Fast forward to last week i met this fine ass sexy young guy online & he persuaded me to come to his dorm after a few days of chatting. i obliged & he ended up giving me undoubtedly the best sex of my life thus far. i mean it was fucking mind-blowing straight out of the shit you would see on only fans & twitter (i fall into a trance evey time i have a flashback).
Like most of us i believed because the sex was good & we seemingly had a connection & he was really into it & me that it would lead to being a regular thing, he even asked me to come back over the next day, however that was last thursday it is now monday & i haven’t heard from him again. at 1st i felt on top of the world & i was very energetic being as tho he was very articulate, mild mannered, nice & fine af! all of the things that i had been missing from previous partners, the energy that was transferred was great until i realized i have been ghosted after sending a msg via text to no response. So then i check his profile & he has been active & clearly on to his next conquest (shocker right). After that revelation my high is now over & i feel as dumb and gullible as can be, like i waited all that time just to fall victim to another fuckboy. With me being an average built guy (i have a little bit of a gut but I’ve got a nice butt & i can dress but i still have a regular amount of self esteem & i would say im about a 7 in the face)
What do you suppose it could have been for him to pull this move on me?
i mean i am completely lost…
What should i do next?
MY ANSWER…
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f0xmail: “the confused” has me confused….
yesterday,
i got a dm from a foxholer requesting advice on ig.
after reading it,
i felt really compelled to answer.
this is a quick background of what was sent to me:
a foxholer is working with a male who he thinks gets down.
he has been doing the “staring,
touching,
and making suspect comments disguised as jokes” shit.
recently,
the dude decides to back tf up and goes cold.
no warning.
the foxholer is now confused af and wondering what went wrong.
you know how that goes…
since i’ve dealt with that bullshit,
i had a few thoughts.
well...
Continue reading “f0xmail: “the confused” has me confused….”
foxmail: my “straight” crush turned out to be gay, but he has a boyfriend other than me! help!
FOXMAIL
Hey Jamari,
Long time fan and reader here. This past weekend I’ve ran into an issue and I wanted to get your advice on it. So for pretty much my whole high school career I’ve had the BIGGEST crush on one of my friends. Just hanging out with him after school would make my day ten times better but I was always hurt because I knew I was wasting my time because he wasn’t gay so I just took it on the chin and tried to move on. This past weekend, some odd years after high school, this nigga decides to come out to me and introduce me to his boyfriend. To see I was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Now, all the emotions I had suppressed for years came back and I’ve been in my feelings these past couple days. I’m genuinely happy that he’s happy now but ain’t the same time, I’m sad that it’s not with me (I know this sounds selfish but that’s honestly how I feel). I need your advice as to how to move on with the friendship.
Should I just play everything off and deal with it?
Should i tell him and let that play out?
Or should I just stop talking to him?
You’re the only one I feel like I can talk to about this.Thank you for your time and I’d appreciate any feedback!
MY ANSWER…
f0xmail: i get so lonely in this life. do you feel the same?
FOXMAIL
Hope your doing well. I’ve been a big fan of your blog for a long time. It speaks so much volumes as a black gay male. Something I’ve struggled with is feeling like i dont quite measure up to my peers, family, and colleagues in the relationship department. Looking back I realize that I dont really have any long tenured relationships. I’m not sure you could relate to this. I’ll be turning 30 next year and have been bombarded with strong feelings of loneliness recently. Can you relate?
MY ANSWER…
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f0xmail: jamari, would you slob your man down in public?
FOXMAIL
This is a Ask Jamari question on PDA.
Some background: I was with a group of friends and associates of about 10 latin, black, multi-racial, in and out of the closet, feminine up to masculine and one of them let’s call him Jay who is dl masculine wolf ask everyone how they felt about pda (public displays of affection) between men such as holding hands, hugging, and kissing. He of course said even if he wanted to he’d never do it in public due to social norms etc. Another said he came from a home with no pda, nobody ever said I love you so he was uncomfortable doing it or somebody doing it to him in public. The answers varied but the one who surprised everybody was _____ who was a drug dealer when he was young, went to prison after killing a guy who gave him a date rape drug then went to college and now holds a phd. True sports addict and no one ever believes he’s into men. I’ve seen women be irate when they try to hit on him and he tells them he’s not interested and he likes men only. Well, he said at 17 he told his mom and family…does not use gay to describe himself but loves a male relationship solely. Well, he has no problem with pda at all in public whether initiating or being the receiving party. I’ve gotten more comfortable with some forms of it but for me it’s a time and place as I feel you have to be present in your environment. You may want to show your love but you have to use common sense as well. Overall, most men of color seem to be uptight about it so I was wondering how you felt about it.
So, if a guy you were involved with wanted to holds hands, hug you, or kiss you in public how would you react?
No limitations…some limitations…not allow it, etc
MY ANSWER…
Continue reading “f0xmail: jamari, would you slob your man down in public?”
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