We as Foxes are DOOMED.
DOOMED I TELL YA!
Well, not really.
I just had to be a bit dramatic.
Time and time again, I get countless emails from Foxes about crushes on Straight Wolves.
I have literally read them all:
“He walked into my classroom and he was perfect. He sat next to me and I helped him with his homework…”
“He works in my office and he gives me signs but I can’t tell if he is feeling me…”
“He is friends with my Vixen friend and I think he wants me, but I’m not too sure…”
…and then when the Wolf says these 2 words in a sentence:
MY GIRL…
We are CRUSHED.
Foxes all across the nation obsessing over a Wolf that is, and will never be, attainable.
They come into our lives like thieves and steal our hearts.
We obsess over them and end up falling face first into a bottomless pit.
Checking Twitters, Facebooks, and credit scores for clues that maybe,
for once, we may be right.
Or, even just to read their walls and status messages (stalker alert) so we can feel closer to them…
What are we really looking for and really, isn’t it kinda pointless?…
Don’t we just love how straight dude just… are??
They have that right amount of masculinity and swagger that is a Foxes dream.
Then, add on a body sculpted from Adonis’s blueprint and we are ready to give it all up.
Unfortunately, we may think he is perfect for us when in actuality he isn’t even checking for us.
SIDEBAR: WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS PERFECT? ANY OTHER FOX NOTICE THAT???
Wolves seem to never have that issue.
Luckily for them, they have Foxes at their disposal.
They can literally call up 1 800 Fuk A Fox and a prepacked one will show up at their door.
He comes standard with own wardrobe, money, and crib.
He can be cute to fione and all he requires is trust, loyalty, and a handcuffed penis.
It made me wonder about Foxes and our options.
Seriously, have you seen some of the Wolves who try to hunt us?
It seems that most of the bottom of the barrel is only searching for Foxes.
But yet, for a Wolf he has so many options, he is never truly alone.
And then the Wolves we do want, who happen to be in this lifestyle,
have their heads so far up their Wolf tails that is hard to actually break through.
You are one of a billion trying to persuade this silly man to “PICK ME! PICK ME!“.
Yet, when we meet these straight Wolves who embrace us,
we fall into the trap of wanting someone we can never have.
And what about the Straight Wolves who are a total mystery??
You do not know what way they swing.
They never mention anything about having a Vixen.
But, they do little things that YOU think are hints.
You sit there and decipher clues like Inspector Gadget…
…only to over heat out of frustration.
And if he does happen to like a little Foxtail on the side,
you will always be his “on call whore” when the Vixen isn’t sucking his pipe or throwing it back like you do.
She doesn’t cook, smile, and be submissive.. and you know they love that shit.
They end up using us up and then we hear those wonderful words:
“I have decided to stop messing with dudes now.
I went to church and got saved.
I still got love for you though…”
… only to hear from him 6 months down the line when his dick starts jumping again.
I couldn’t help but wonder:
Yea Ronnie It is for me cause I’m familiar with infactuation more so then being in madd love with someone. Most of my experience come by the lives of others. All I’ve seen was love gone wrong, two timing, tears, fighting, love that’s not shared equally, heartbreak, moving on to the next “love affair”, the cycle repeating itself with the next. the only thing the music industry share is – I don’t wanna cry no more. Yea, its a challenge for me. I don’t want to have to blow someones car up with them in it for breaking my heart…
a challenge being in love with one person? Wow
…Its a challenge to be in love with one person. Is it actually possable to be in love with two people at the same time?
lol this thread is hillarious
Lol, why is that?
From my experience “bisexuals” are the least likely ones to wanna commit.
yes my experience with “bye-sexuals” is that it starts off sexual and then once they start catching feelings they get scared and run, bye bye.lol
Yup! But its interesting that u have experienced this with foxes. More of a wolf trait in my experience.
Yeah…*raises hand ashamedly* I’ve done that before…but now I’m upfront & brutally honest about it only being a sex thing — if it even goes there at all.
Whoa! i agree with foxandthecity… thats typically a wolf trait with the flip flopping and what not and its really interesting that uve experiences that. I guess u were messing with hybrids though.
Must be a regional thing? I’ve tried the internet, i’ve tried the clubs here, and being out and about its difficult to tell in passing. I can’t seem to find too many. I’ve come across way more cute foxes and wolves tend to be 50+, 250lbs+, or just not cute in general.
Maybe we have different tastes?
I have been reading this forum for the past several weeks, and during that time I have sincerely attempted to objectively look at everyone’s feedback in my attempt to learn more about my sexuality and about black male sexuality in general. When I first came to this forum I knew my time here will be finite because generally I learn very quickly, and even for more practical reasons; I am just a very busy person. I have always considered myself as a guess here, and as a guess I know that it is proper etiquette not to over extend my welcome and so this will be my last post.
One of the main value that my parents taught me was “to always try to leave a place that I visit better off than before I arrived”, and it is my hope that I leave this forum a little better off than before I arrived ( I know it is kind of egotistical of me to say all of this lol). In parting this forum I would like to share a few final thoughts,because like most online forums there are always a lot of positives and a lot of negatives. I believed that I brought both positive and negative energy to this forum, however I hope that I brought more positives than negatives.
In focusing on the positives first, and think that everyone in this forum have shared very personal aspects of their lives, in order to help others and in order to help to facilitate their own personal healing. I think that everyone in this forum primary motive for being here is to contribute something of personal value to someone else. Vain although we disagreed on several major philosophical, psychosocial, and psychosexual points; I want you to know that I have nothing but a high level of respect for you. I have read your blog and I think that you write brilliantly and I appreciate you for taking such a big risk in sharing very deep emotional, and personal parts of yourself. As a person who’s profession to identify talent; I think that you are a very talented writer, and I hope that one day you decide to pursue a career as a writer.
My perspective of the negative aspect of being here is that I have witness a lot of self loathing, and personal attacks made on people who presented apposing view points. I was taught that I can disagree with someone’s perspective without attacking them. I think that someone with strong ego boundaries can accept differing perspectives, without perceiving them as a personal attacks against them. I have also witness that this forum from time to time suffer from underling aspects of self loathing, homophobia, and negative gay stereotyping calling others she, etc). Finally, I will leave the forum with these last thoughts. I thank God for all the pain, trials, and errors that I made in life, because they helped me to develop my step process for success, and happiness:
1. Put God first in all things, and seek out his will in life.
2. My second priority in life is to take care of my own needs because if I don’t no one will.
3. I teach others how to treat me.
4. Treat everyone as equals.
5. Do kind things for the sake of being kind and not for personal gain aside from feeling
good about helping others.
6. Perception is reality; meaning how we perceive the world will become the world we live
in.
7. Have Swagger, meaning because since I have confidence in myself then others will
have confidence in me. When you enter a room own the room with your silence and not
with a fake bravado.
8 Never kiss anyone’s ass to like me because I will never be able to kiss someone’s ass
enough.
Finally, Jar I think that you are a very kind, very generous, and sincere brother. Not all the time have I agreed with your perspectives, nor you with mine, however you always made it clear to me that my perspectives had value and that they were always welcomed in your forum. I thank you for your honesty and for being a nurturing brother. If I were to be so bold to say, in many aspect you are operating as a pastor to all of your readers. I honestly think that you will find that baller wolf when you are truly readying for him. Also if you already don’t know this and I speak on good authority that a few pro-ballers are checking out your blog more than you know. Personally, I think that pro-ballers tend to have a lot of baggage. Oh kkay I see my exit sign ahead so peace and blessing to everyone and thanks.
Blk.
^thank you for those kind words blk.
i hope you can return and share more knowledge with us on future entries.
i enjoyed your feedback and it helped create another side of the Wolf coin,
us Foxes so desperately need.
you will be back!
you will miss me and want more lol 😉
ps: tell those pro baller wolves i said, “so what are you waiting for?” lol jk
but tell them I said thank you for checking me out.
I hope I am helping them with their perspective on Fox/Wolf life…
Also feel free to email me blk: [email protected]
You will be missed, Sir. Your participation and firm stance (pun intended) in the Great Wolf/Fox/Hybrid Debate of 2011was the stuff of legend. What I want to know is: when is the book coming out and how can I get a copy?! And are you still available for advice and wisdom? Let me know. Wishing you all the best! –[email protected]
you better not leave!!!! I’ve always appreciated your way of seeing things even if I didn’t agree…
Man, I am always late on the posts. BLK, I enjoyed your responses, comments and feedbacks. I agree pretty much with everything that you have posted. It could be an age thing. I would love to stay in contact with you.
LMAO…I think some boys just want to do it that way..and want to get to know the guy without some of the obligations they are worried come with being for all the time..whether or not they really exist
“Lil Sparky” lol…. like a dog.
So overall you’d be the one making most of the decisions and doing a lot of the supporting or are you the type to split the bill and have doors opened for you?
I ask because maybe its a personality thing that separates those who fall for straight men and those who do not. Where some of us look at straight men and think they completely embody what we look for while others look at them as more of like a counter part.
if im into the guy and the guy is reciprocal i have no problem making most of the decisions and most of the supporting and opening doors, carrying his jacket if it gets hot out..most of the guys i have talked to didnt want to be paid for all the time they wanted to feel like they are contributing as close to equal as possible
So you’re into like…. the ‘crazy’ ones? lol
that may be a part of it..because the straight guys im friends with are more like me..but plenty of times hanging with them i see straight men that are my type..that do odd things things that would make u think hmm “IS HE?” but i dont even let myself go down that road because im smarter now and know where that leads
Personality-wise, i’d assume you’re into submissive men, right?
they dont have to totally submissive personality wise. Im easy going and still in control of most situations in my life..he could have a lil sparky personality wise…i more pick my battles and will use my dominant side when its really important
Wolf I really don’t think that my statement is misleading, because it is more of my experience and I understand that every person’s experiences are different. So I will clarify, it has been my experience that getting str8 guys especially black str8 guys is not really that hard. ;-). I think we get what we want out of life if we really want it. It is all about the swagger, and I am not talking about an artificial swagger I am talking about the swagger that is fueled by who were are at the core.
LOL YEAH OK….the boys REALLY want the guys they are crushing on but its not possible because the guy is REALLY STRAIGHT!..not hiding behind the label and secretly having desires about men..im sure the men you are doing things with have had thoughts about doing something with a man before they met you…you were the guy they felt COMFORTABLE acting on it with thats where the swagger came in….with that said im not having any more of this convo with you because its silly and not very smart of me to continue a stupid line on reasoning
So anyways! I think its interesting that there are those of us who do not crush on straight guys. I dont think its due to lack of exposure because well… they’re everywhere lol. Is it because of WHAT you’re attracted that would prevent you from being emotionally drawn to them?
Er. wolf well I mean seriously man lol.
you can get a STRAIGHT guy to do something sexual with you..but the guy that wants to be more involved with you is a GAY guy. Wolf I honestly don’t know how to respond to your statement because I don’t have sex with men who I don’t have an emotional connection with. I just don’t think that str8 guys are mystical creatures that gay men in general make them out to be. Getting another man to take a sexual interest in you is not really that hard, and again I think it is about the swagger.
your statement is misleading because it makes it seem like if u have the right amount of swagger u can get any STRAIGHT guy to take a sexual interest in you..its not true…
Er….. hummmmmmmm to me it seems to be very simple regardless if you are a fox, a hybird, or a wolf at the end of the day we are men!!! We in general then to want to screw what we find attractive. Str8 (however that is defined these days)guys are mostly what I tend to get into the mix with, and I don’t find them very difficult to have sex with. It is all about the swagger.
getting a str8 guy to do something sexual with u is not hard if u have the vibe that they feel comfortable with …but comments like this messes up gay guys heads because its misleading what this post is talking about goes beyond the sex..its about the emotional attachment that comes from being friends with someone and wanting to taking it to further.
you can get a STRAIGHT guy to do something sexual with you..but the guy that wants to be more involved with you is a GAY guy
gays need to understand that if our women friends were the same way we would be pissed like girl u know we dont want that..so get the point..”IM NOT STRAIGHT”…also the other issues is that some gay guys have to stop viewing straight as BETTER..and as just another difference.
Jolette that statement was potent I’m glad u wasn’t shy to say it…
^^^ YES! Most straight dudes nowadays can spot a gay dude from a mile away and what you tend to find is that they will flirt, laugh, play, hang out with you if you seem beneficial to them such as lend [give] them money, free and quick service if you work in places like a bank, sports arena, movie cinema, etc. or as an outlet to rant and rave about their lives. They know what they’re doing and like homeboy said will never let you get too close because their not gay and just see an opportunity to use you.
Another point is I was in Starbucks the other night and I overheard this guy talking to a Vixen telling her how it does not pay to be gay-friendly because you try and befriend a gay guy, accept him for who he is, put your reputation on the line in public and he turns around and tries to have sex with you. I had to agree because I have straight friends who know what time it is and accepts people for who they are as long as the relationship remains strictly platonic. A lot of these jackals and hyenas see a guy flash them a friendly smile or help them lift a box or two…even some casual conversation and they think he is gay. HELL NO DAWG!
But like so many others, I too, have been bitten by the straight guy bug…however, I know my boundaries and despite what I believe in my mind to be signs of him coming on to me, unless he opens his mouth and says or pushes me up on a wall and kisses the life out of me, I leave them right where they are…and as jack off buddies lol.
Oh and please don’t think that every guy who is constantly staring you down is seeking to bed you. He may be thinking “that nigga is gay as fuck lemme call my boys so we can murk his punk ass” or “damn I wish I picked up those jeans dude looks better than me.”
yeah a lot of gay guys have a hard time keeping the boundary…but it is possible..i have a good amount of str8 male friends and they are even affectionate with me as any friend would be..but theres never any gray area or issues…we are just friends
^i agree.
I have a lot of straight friends and what you won’t see me do is come onto them.
Then again,
a lot of my straight friends I am not attracted too.
I usually find myself attracted to the “new guy” or someone who I see constantly from a distance.
a lot of gays like to play with fire…
… and when they get burned,
want to scream “HATE ATTACK”.
Sidenote: I see there is this general “anti-bisexual” thing going on. I thought everyone (besides myself) was in agreement that bisexuals need love too?? That they are all capable of commitment to either sex. I don’t mess with them either but… i just thought it was because I’m a bad person lol.
nah bisexuals in my experience have been bad business each time. so i dont go there anymore..lol
yea. relationships are hard enough. I don’t want to add the factor of wondering if you’ll wake up one day wanting to marry a woman. And its annoying as hell to be out with your boyfriend and him commenting on how good some chick looks. Call it insecurity but just like a woman doesn’t want to be with a guy who likes guys, it makes you feel as if you can’t even compete. Granted a dog is gon be a dog and a niggas gon leave if he wants to leave but you owe yourself to weed out as many negative factors as possible.
damn Vain….. I like that comment….
I like USV’s comment…
funny. i just had an exasperated convo with a friend this past weekend and it went something like this “he’s cute but everytime he opens his mouth to talk about some chick he’s tryna get with, all interest is flushed. im done with “str8″ dudes. i dont even want any more str8 friends!”
i know some of the finest, GAYEST straight men in america. some i’ve actually been able to crack (lol) some i havent but in my quest for a HEALTHY relationship not rooted in sex and that will actually last, i’ve given up on both the str8 AND bi kind. i dont have time to try and discipher anybody or the shit they do. and 9x/10 these dudes know what they’re doing and even if a bit curious keep their questionably gay friends around for a nice ego shot every now and then. but will never let you get too close.
i’ve discovered doing whatever the FUCK makes you happy and looking as hot as possible while doing those things you will attract more attn than you know. my luck has come all the way up lately and yours can too. foxandthecity will find his Mr. Big this season. but moral of the story: dont waste your time on anyone who isnt blatantly into you. fuck the rest and you just may get a chance to. they’ll come around.
^love this comment Fox!
last paragraph is very wise.
I guess I identify with Jay in the sense that I crush on more gay men than straight. Probably for the very fact that I’m NOT around a lot of them. And they’re usually older…
Where do you find those pics!
Where to you find those pics!
Dude having a girlfriend doesn’t usually pop up out of no where. Usually the gay party knows this from jump and decides to pine anyway. As soon as you know he’s straight or has a gf the line is drawn.
Dudes say they want relationships, but I find that hard to believe if you’re consumed with men that will never be available to you. Go find you a gay man. I know that’s easier said than done, but isn’t it better than being in some make believe relationship in your head and hanging on every little gesture? Hoping one day he’ll look up at you and suddenly realize he was gay all along and its you he wants to be with…lmao…im laughing just at the thought.
Touche to the last sentence though. All it takes is one statement I don’t like to obliterate any crush I have. I think I’ve crushed on more gay men than straight ones though.
^is it because you are around more gay people? or is this online?
I take it back. Never had a crush on a dude. I’ve admired the swagger of a straight dude and lusted/been infatuated by a couple of foxes I could tell were gay but I’ve never had a crush on anyone. Vain’s right. lol
We should always remember never make a wolf our life,because they will never be ours alone, we must also follow our bliss ,and enjoy the wolf for who and what he projects, keep god first and always stay prayed up, and ask god to reveal and shine the light of truth on what and how we feeling, I too got caught up on a crush and for two years i would be on his job just to see him and hope he would say all the things we want to hear from a crush, yes he did notice me and stare at me when ever he saw me but, i have to move on because all my fears or all the fears the enemy wants me and all gay people to believe is we are never going to have love, money, respect and so on, but we are a special group because no other group can be treated so mean and still rise, and keep it fresh. we are loved by the most high and he has given all our group peace, and we we ask he will shine a 500watt light on the wolfs we want, stay true to who you are and trust your gut, let lust be what we have for gods words, give respect and do not sell yours just to get a wolf, TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.
Two years? That must have been really difficult. How was your dating life during that time?
^^good comment Jo!
theres no such thing as stalking. i just gather infromation to test my hypothesis… lol. i give off the sense of a questionable straight wolf, and i have friends thatre foxes, so we usually team up to test a guy before either one of us officially likes a guy. so ive never really had this problem. ive liked guys who were “straight” but its never actually been serious.
How has this method worked out for you in the past? Have you formed committed, intimate, monogamous relationships with straight men after using this process?
All that is sounds cute and belongs in a “quote of the day” calendar with kitties and rainbows. But it only applies if you LUST after someone. If you see them in passing or admire from afar.
But there are plenty of times when you get to know them and you find out they have all the qualities that you want. These are usually classmates or co-workers. They’re attentive, kind, compassionate, smart, great looking, can carry a conversation, and so on. Their only flaw being that they’re pescatarians. Day in and day out you spend lots of time building up a friendship and start to imagine what life would be like if you were together. Sometimes they get comfortable and start being physical. Hug here, a brush there, you go out to eat together and you begin to feel like you’re in a quasi-relationship. Walls begin to come down and you begin to fall and crush on them HARD. This is where it gets difficult.
If you’ve ever REALLY fallen for a straight boy, you know what i’m talking about.
Sooo those are qualities that a gay men lack? You couldn’t possibly know them that well if you’re not sure where you stand in his life or whether or not they like men.
You’re right. I don’t pine after straight men at all. I may admire some of the qualities they have and how they carry themselves but thats where it ends. No sense in yearning for what you can never have.
Crushing on straight men is normal, but when you find yourself falling in love with them knowing your face will be cracked in the end, you may just be crazier than I am. lol
These are qualities you don’t find in too many cute ones, if you can find many wolves at all. Because there really aren’t that many.
You can ABSOLUTELY know them well and know where you stand and know they’re straight and STILL fall for them! If this is a person you see and spend time with almost EVERYDAY who fits your description of what you find attractive on the OUTSIDE (as many of them do) and then as you get to know them and realize they have all the qualities you want on the INSIDE. And then you find out…. oops… he has a girlfriend!
You don’t really pine after too many people, let alone straight men lol
@ Vain: These are qualities you don’t find in too many cute ones, if you can find many wolves at all. Because there really aren’t that many.
WOW!!! Y’all are really showing the wolves shade…lol…Where are y’all foxes looking for your wolves? I have seen more eligible wolves than foxes! Not all foxes are foxes!
AMEN!
Wolves and foxes both go through this, but in most cases we just like how the package is wrapped. We rarely know what’s inside the package.
^VERY DEEP
Wolves go through this as well, I personally have met a straight dude and thought he would be the ideal man, like Jamari mentioned you don’t know how they roll until they drop the bomb “my girl”, then its up to you to pick your jaw up and keep it moving to the next one…lol
^^^^ Sorry major typos Lol
In my opinion, I would recommend we, foxes, stop trying to decihper signs and signals they might give you. In my experience a straight wolf will make it known to you if he wants to get at you or not. I think that striaght wolves in most cases want to try something with us, but they dont follow through because they fear they might either like it too much or might be exposed in the process. I think to be full proof and never fall for a striaght wolf, and tell if he is into you or not is to get to know him and build a friend/home boy realationship with him. Take him out from time to time, go to a resturant he may like or that you like and make it special. Then get him alone one time or another and just chill with him, there you will see if he is feeling you like you think he is, because if he is he will make a move and if he isnt than he won’t.
not a lie at all…wolves get caught up with str8 boys too…classmates who are nice and have a phatty…workout partners who are nice and have a ……and so on and so on…
all humans want what they feel no one has had before it makes us feel special
So you have all of these foxes to choose from, and yet… you’re still falling for straight men?
Can you give us a time when you’ve fallen for a straight man?
it was long ago..i dont do that issue at all anymore..i was just making the point that it happens..i dont entertain possibilites with bi guys either
Lies.
good stuff..wolves get caught up in this too even though theres a ton of gay foxes
The best thing you can do is just try to avoid them all together lol.
Straight men tend to be the business. And we’re not talking about the emotionally unavailable ones who are assholes and call us faggots. No. We’re talking about the nice ones who engage in friendly conversation and smile when you walk into the room and share their thoughts and interests.
Eventually someone is going to come in and say he just might be homosexual and you should just hold out and wait for it. His girlfriend is just a cover or his sexuality is fluid and he may play on both teams and treat you just as well as a fysh. Or say the opposite. That its not okay for you to hold such high standards for wolves and you should look on the inside. Look for overall great qualities and learn to like the wolves who are approaching you. Blame it on you and what you like.
Will we ever stop falling for straight men? Not unless their species gets wiped out by all of this deforestation, water pollution, and climate change.
i like this comment vain
Really? Thanks!
I hope people catch the sarcasm in paragraphs 3 and 4 lol.
Like this comment a lot.