everything is going to shit on this sunday.
i’m tryin not to put that energy out there,
but it’s been one thing after another.
i figured i’d vent about it to clear my mind…
– i wake up to my bathroom light being dead.
since i was going to get my laundry,
i figured i’d swing by the 1 dollar store to get replacements.
the bulbs in my bathroom were the 2 long fluorescent bulbs.
i didn’t know which kind it was,
which my fault,
so i picked up two that looked like the ones that fit.
i get home,
one of the bulbs is missing from my bag.
i realized it must have slid out through the grocery cart.
there goes 4.99.
i take a pic of the right bulb size and leave out again.
the dollar store didn’t have it.
since the fuck with me in that store,
because they don’t do exchanges,
they let me exchange for something else.
positive?
i had to walk to home depot.
that’s a whole few blocks away from my crib.
btw: it’s brick outside.
the temperature dropped tremendously.
i get to home depot and no one is in the section with the bulbs.
i asked like 3 people for help and everyone is looking at me like i’m stupid.
this one chick said she would help me and my girl dipped on me.
at this point,
i’m starting to get real upset.
finally,
this friendly older wolf stops to help me.
we go to asks his manager if there is anyone in that section.
do you know this asshole manager,
who was on ig scrolling,
looks at us and shakes his head like “nope”.
pineapple,
tf you mean “nope”?
it took me everything in my power not to fly off the handle.
so i say out loud in my most sarcastic tone:
“does anyone work here or do folks get paid to model for home depot?”
so the older wolf ends up helping me find the bulb,
after digging through that florescent vomit.
so i say:
“ya know,
your manager is a real fuckin’ asshole.”
…and other things i shoudln’t have been saying on a sunday.
he wanted to agree out loud,
but he kept it professional.
he seemed fed up with that manager too.
the look on his face was in full agreement tho.
the bulbs were 12.00 each.
i wanted to vomit at the register.
i fumed as i walked back to my spot.
– i go to pay my internet bill.
it’s due in a few days.
i look…
the bill is way more than i usually pay a month.
instant “wtf?”.
i got on the horn with the absolute quickness.
last year,
i was told my bill will be much lower due to not paying for phone or cable.
well someone lied to me!
they bumped my bill up to 110 and i’m not even about that life.
i’m told i have to call tomorrow to explain why they fucked up.
they can’t help me today with their fuck up since that department is closed.
wtf they at work for then?
smh.
i don’t know what’s going on in the universe,
but the energy is off in my atmosphere.
not to mention i’m stressed high key about finding a job/income,
feeling lonely and sorta underappreciated.
it’s one of those days i just want to run into my shell and stay there.
I’ve had some real meltdowns myself, some public, none pretty. I’ve coped by talking about my anger in analysis and be a good parent to myself. One meltdown was so bad i couldn’t get myself to the right subway or airport for a cruise but made it there the next day
Home Depot will make you lose Jesus. I prefer Ace Hardware…staff is much more friendly but some things you just got to go to Home Depot. Hang in there J!
There is a place we’ll go
Where there is mostly quiet…
Flowers and Butterflies
A Rainbow lives beside it
And from a Velvet sky
A Summer storm
You can feel the coolness in the air
But your still warm
And then a mighty roar
Will start the sky to cryin
But not even light’ning
Will be frightening my Lion
And with no fear inside
No need to run
No need to hide
Your standing strong and tall
Your the bravest of them all
If on courage you must call
Then just keep on tryin’
And tryin’ and tryin’
Your a Lion
In your own way, be a lion
Come on Jamari be a lion
I am standing Strong and Tall
Your the Bravest of them all
If on Courage you must call
Keep on Tryn’
And Tryin’, and Tryin’
I’m A Lion
In my own way
Im A Lion
A Lion
A Lion
A LION!!!!
Jamari we love you bro. I wish I could give you a hug, but as of right now I’m giving you a virtual hug. Jamari I won’t lie, you have had a tough life buddy and it does seem in a lot of cases you are getting the worse end of the stick. Jamari I write this with love and no shade at all. I think it’s time for a dating life and a potential partner. I want you to be happy, and I feel a partner could help you out with some aspects in your life. Even if you use the gay apps you can write exactly what your there for. There are a few good guys on those apps that’s looking for a person to know, or a good friend. I’m just trying to help Jamari. I just imagine you being so lonely up in that New York apartment, and that needs to change soon Jamari. You’re a great guy, and I want a change for you soon. I write all this with love bro. I hope you don’t take it the wrong way.
You brought back a memory. Years ago as a young nurse it seamed that a bad day on the unit was a bad day for everyone. One Year on one of those days I started singing one of my favorites from 1960,
The Shirelles Songs “Mama Said there will be days like this.” I changed the lyrics a little to, ” Just remember when every little thing goes wrong that Mama said there will be days like this!” and ended with her secret was she didn’t tell me how many day! Cracked the unit up! It became the unit theme song. One day a enterprising Young nurse had recorded it and before anyone started sing she played it on the unit intercom. It got us tru a many bad day! My Other get me tru is the Blues song “It Bees that way sometimes! Have a listen. Joe Simon.
^i love this dw.
i’m gonna listen to it.
it’s needed today.
You are Loved Jamari!
Something off in the Universe, eh…?
I had fear ocoming in here saying what I was cooking, (grilled chicken & cheese spicy doritos nachos) since I saw diarrhea and didnt want to urge the toilet movement but since this is something else.
Maybe meditating and taking a break. Maybe a few days (or a whole week) from the foxhole and a little me time is in store for you?
I take it you live in New York correct? I have no idea what it’s like in the North or there. I’m just a Southern dude with country accent (The kind that says, “Caa”, instead of “Car”)
Have you took yourself out to dinner lately? Walk in the park, by the waters or something?
If you haven’t already done so and have the finances, treat yourself and take a few days from social media, television, internet and all that. Go to a spa, get a massage, Meditate, drink only water, ditch any process foods (replace them with fruits and veggies) and listen to some of your favorite instrumental tunes that make you feel good on the inside for a week or so.
I also hope you’ve been doing what I suggested many posts ago when you wake up to remind yourself you are blessed and thankful and all that good stuff.
Power Up!
^thanks jammy.
it’s definitely not the foxhole.
i need this to keep me going.
it’s my need for some kind of breakthrough.
i feel like every time i think i’m taking a few steps forward,
something brings me back.
i need to take a vacation from my anxiety and my mind.
Hmm. Well, keep trying. I think you’ve done a lot of great things. A fantastic blog with tons of viewership and you even have a fanbase. I bet your breakthrough is already there waiting on your to break through something else.
^thank you jammy.
i really appreciate you.
I’ve had days like this and there will be more days like this. What I try to do is find the silver lining in every situation, because they are there. What also help is a glass of wine 🍷!!😝😝
^hmm..
i ended up taking a talk,
i got some cocoa butter lotion in exchange,
and i finally ended up getting my laundry.
i’m still waiting for the silver lining in my internet bill.
Seeing that in the past you have talked about your bowel issues… I thought it was one of them Sundays. LOL
^lmao!
nah,
i’m pretty regular right now,
thank God.
Why didn’t you record this, make it go viral so corporate Home Depot steps in?
Bad days make us appreciate the good ones even more. Maybe look into energy saving bulbs as an investment for the future that will last longer but also save electricity. See today as a lesson so you don’t have the same troubles next time. You woke up today and the day still can improve.
^i def wasn’t thinking about recording him.
i was so fixed on getting in and out.
the bulbs i ended up getting will last 3 years so that’s a major plus.