inside jamari fox

america is in this really weird place that when shit is about to go down,
especially when white folks are involved,
we assume that their privilege will protect them.
i assumed trump would be found not guilty and he’d be on his merry way.
i didn’t see this on my bingo card,
well i didn’t have a bingo card for this,
but this verdict…

dear Foxhole,

there is one thing you can do to disappoint me.
this is besides doing heinous shit that hurts someone else/other people.

When you get a blessing and fuck it up.

in this case,
losing a fantasy wolf.
one of my Foxholers did something that really disappointed me.
they got a blessing by bagging a sexy power wolf off IG and…

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you know when rolling stone gets to investigating ya.…
so rolling stone was doing a 6 month deep dive on all things diddy and…

in that tweet above,
carlton from the fresh prince of bel-air shook the table the other day.
whatever tyler perry did/has done bts has cartlon not interested.
cartlon stays in his lane and isn’t really problematic.
might the rumors we have heard about tyler have truth in them?
the other day,
busta rhymes’ bodyguard alleged that he’s on the DL...

I told three people today that it’s the anniversary of Star Fox’s death.
Two vixens; one wolf.

the vixens gave me some supportive words,
while the wolf,
well,
turned it back to himself.
we spent the rest of the text talking about him.
Not to font vixens are better—
i’ve met my share of self-absorbed vixens as well.

just yesterday,
i was telling my therapist that irl,
i come off like i have it all together.
on the Foxhole,
i’m painfully honest with my community but my walls are up to those i know.

I carry myself in a certain way,
trying to exude confidence and composure.
I look like I have it all figured out,
maintaining my overall presentation whenever I’m #outside. 
I put my best paws forward,
aiming for acceptance by those around.

what i’ve learned tho?…

when you share a deep and profound connection with someone,
it’s like your souls are intertwined forever.
you feel each other even when you’re miles apart or not speaking anymore.
when you think of someone and they reach out to you out the blue,
they were on the same spiritual wave as you.
even when someone randomly crosses your mind and you get stupid horny.
they were thinking of you sexually,
or thinking of you while they were having sex with someone else.
they call that remote seduction.

I believe that’s called a soul tie.

even when they’re no longer with us in the physical realm,
the connection remains,
although in a different form.

amidst all the chaos in my life,
i’ve been grappling with a deep and unexplained sadness.
sure,
it’s partly due to feeling overwhelmed and just done with it all,
but there was something more that i couldn’t explain.

And then it hit me like a ton of breaks…