is being loyal overrated?

am i too loyal?
i know that is a stupid thing to ponder,
but it’s crossed my mind with a recent turn of events.
i’ve been good to others and thrown to the shredder on occasion.
i’ve noticed that i will fight hard for someone else,
but they will turn around and choose the obvious asshole.
an asshole that usually puts them in the shredder eventually.
so i was loyal to an associate i know…

we were mutual friends with an asshole and his shit stain.
i can be petty.
they both were high key bullies and talked shit behind folks back.
so there was beef and they stopped speaking to my associate.
i mean unfollowed him on social and the whole 9.
they wanted me to pick sides and join in,
but i choose my associate’s side to defend.
i hate bitch shit.
my associate has had my back in the past.
they never did.
so we got into it and they stopped speaking to me as well.
not only that,
they stopped speaking another person we are cool with too.

so that was a few months ago.
the asshole and shit shit stain crawled back into their lives.
jackals like that usually realize what they lost.

Do you know that they all started becoming cool again?

not only that,
they go out and it’s all over social media.
so my associate is gonna tell me:

“don’t be mad,
but we all hang out again.
i don’t want the drama so it’s whatever.
they added me back and we ended up talking about it.

i mentioned about you and they gave a lot of static.
they still mad over what you did.”

the fuck i do?
stand up for your ass?
so they don’t want to chill with me because i was loyal to someone else?

someone who they fucked over and i didn’t think it was right?

make sense.
now i’m the one who is left out like i did something wrong.

this is has happened to me before.
 is something wrong with me?
are my values of being a friend,
or even a person,
messed up?
i am very strong with those i respect and care for,
but many of those folks don’t do the same.
so maybe it says more about them than me?
i don’t know anymore.
i’m starting to feel like i do “life” wrong.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

8 thoughts on “is being loyal overrated?”

  1. I don’t get close to many people. I don’t get involved in many peoples situations, I mainly stay on the outside and observe. I’ve had people who I’ve considered friends and even my own parents turn on me in the blink of an eye. My advice would be to figure out a way to read people. And I don’t mean get to know them, I mean see what they are like under the mask they wear (everyone wears a mask). You seem like a very passionate friend, and in all honesty, that can get you in trouble (It happened to my best friend earlier this year). I don’t know what the drama was so I can’t give solid advice. But I can say that your views on friendship are not wrong and should in fact be the status quo. But people are to blinded by their cruel intentions to appreciate that.

    1. ^i’m very passionate about those i love and care for.
      i don’t like disrespect and i hate fake people.
      it may stem from how i was treated growing up and becoming much stronger.

      i might need to back up from now,
      which i will admit won’t be easy.

  2. you’re a good friend jamari. which is rare nowadays but unfortunately ppl won’t reciprocate the same loyalty or chose to when it’s convenient for them.

    id be coo off the associate tho. cordial but keep it pushing mighty fast on em. those the type that’ll waste your good advice and turn around the do the dumbest shit and STILL don’t get it.

  3. Without knowing the details it’s hard to really advise the situation but what I will say that is you have to always have your own back. Stand firm in your beliefs and who you are as a person and don’t back down when other people don’t understand or get where you are coming from. Everybody ain’t gonna always understand our moves and decisions but you have to be good in whatever it is that you decide. I wouldn’t get caught up in other people’s drama, let them figure it out while you keep a safe distance from the mess. People want to hear the truth sometimes so they can do the opposite. Sometimes people just like having drama in their lives. Sometimes people just don’t know how to be a friend without being selfish. Sometimes things happen because those people have no business in our lives so when truth hits the light, they are exposed for the frauds they really are. When people show you who they really are, believe them the first time and save yourself the heartache.

    If these friends are gay guys then God bless you. I have learned that gay men are catty, sensitive and competitive with each other so I don’t go into any experience thinking we are gonna be lifelong friends. Usually when I’m around other gays, I’m cordial but I’m always ready for shade at any given moment. Good luck and good riddance, the right people will come into your life. Be happy that the trash is gone.

    1. ^i appreciate this comment.
      the foxhole knows how to keep me looking forward.
      thank you for taking the time to font all of this.

      the whole situation started because my associate was cool with someone and they didn’t like the person for whatever reason.
      so they wanted him to choose who he was gonna be cool with.
      he didn’t want to play their childish games and they dropped him,
      only to come crawling back when they realized their actions cause them to have no friends.
      so now they hate me because i spoke up in the associates defense when they tried to confront me.

      silly shit

      1. I’m loyal to those who are loyal to me. People who show me through their actions that they are my friend, I will go out of my way for. You talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk….I don’t want to be bothered. Seems like I’ve had more of the latter in my life than the former.
        I will say this, if I have two mutual friends, and they get into a disagreement and stop talking to one another, that’s on them. I’m not going to stop being friends with someone because you are no longer cool with them.
        One thing I will not do is talk about the other, when I’m with one of them. I won’t allow you to do that…especially not to bring me into the middle of the pettiness with some he said, she said BS. If they’re not mature enough to handle that, that’s on them.
        It’s made me reevaluate relationships and cut many people out of my life. Petty and vindictive people, I’ve no time for. Jealous folks, I’ve no time for. I only want people that want to do something with their life instead of remaining in the past, and being stagnant.
        If you’re about progression, I’m with you. If not, keep it moving.

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