I Went On A Date With A Real Life Madea Last Night

Yeah, you read the title right.

This is what I get for going on a “date” with someone I met online years ago.
What the hell was I thinking?
I guess all the Wolves I met online back in the day have reached their limits.
MAXED THE FUCK OUT!

These days, online match ups are the new thing for us Foxes to meet potential Wolves.
But, is it really just a waste of your personal bandwidth?
Lord knows I used up all mine meeting Madea Wolf last night…

I’ll never look at Madea the same AGAIN…

So, I met this Wolf a couple of years ago and he was trying his hardest to get my attention.
At the time, he had just moved to the Concrete Forest and was looking to meet new people (Foxes especially).
From his pictures he showed me, he looked like a sexy ass Wolf.
Or, maybe it was the angles?
He was caramel complected, dreads (how ironic from yesterday’s entry), and muscular.
He was also posing like he was fresh out of jail with the sunglasses in the crib.
Now that I think of it, the crib looked nice but it had no furniture.

I signed on Yahoo Instant Messenger by mistake yesterday and he INSTANTLY sent me a message.
We caught up and he said he wanted to meet up with me.

“yo wyd tonight?”
“nothing i was going to the crib. wassup?”
“we should meet since i never met you…”

I figured, why not?
I looked good and had a fresh outfit on for work.
So I met him Uptown at a Starbucks….
… and:

First off, he looked mega broke.
He had on a track jacket and some dusty boot cut jeans (who wears boot cut jeans anymore??)
He looked like his picture... AND THEN HE OPENED HIS MOUTH!!!
FOXES!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not kidding you but he sounded like Madea.
He was Madea Wolf.
He had her same gestures and mannerisms.
During our conversation, he even used Madea lines.
Everything was “yurrr” and “ok-errr” .
I even caught him talking about shooting up the Starbucks because his tea wasn’t ready on time.

WHERE WAS MY STOP BUTTON??????????????

He was a lot more feminine than I would have imagined also.
He would fling his dreads across his shoulders.
He looked like a Wolf but acted like a Fox, who was a Vixen.
I was confused and I bet you are too.

I cut the meeting short when he told me he couldn’t pay for my croissant because he was low on UN-employment…
but still wanted me to come over so he could “bend my pretty ass over”.

BYE BYE.

He texted me later with the same question he should already know the answer to:

“so did you like me?”

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

10 thoughts on “I Went On A Date With A Real Life Madea Last Night

  1. LMAO, yo that’s funny as shit. That’s why I don’t fuck around with that online shit, people are never who they say they are. If it looks too good to be true then it probably is.

  2. Thats typically what happens with online dating. Looks nice but then you meet him and its like ::womp womp:: I realized now I’m big on voices. If you have a cunt accent I’m instantly turned off. It’ll feel like talking to a girlfriend and i don’t need anymore girlfriends.

  3. LMAO!!!! I had one of those a few years ago sept I got caught with the model thing. The bad thing it looked like the model if you would have put it in the dryer and rehydrated it with Liz Taylor white diamonds. Oh and he was as sweet as summer tea in July

  4. I am fucking dead!!!! No thank you for online dating, you think you have “Trade” and you have “Trish” Thanks for my laugh of the day and those Madea gif.

  5. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
    At least he wasn’t like Chow from the Hangover…
    True story… met a fox like that -_-
    But this is hecka funny!
    Deuces

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