i like,
no LOVE,
an aggressive wolf.
not “i think you’ll rape me” aggressive.
i’m fontin’ moreso in personality.
i’m always the aggressor when pursuing someone i’m attracted to.
they’ll start out aggressive,
throwing signs and shit,
but when i follow up to close the loop,
they get all standoffish and i’m left all wet.
you thought you was “this close” to getting the dick.
one thing i can’t stand is a male who talks a good game in public,
shows he’s attracted to you discreetly,
but plays the passive aggressive white vixen shit with his actions.
nothing turns me off more.
so you already know i can’t deal with it at work…
as a leader of a team,
you always need to move with confidence.
passive aggression,
nit picking,
and micro-managing is the absolute pits.
if i’m underneath you,
i’ve always enjoyed work environments where the boss is more aggressive.
i relate heavy with those types.
the one who will fight for you if they know you did nothing wrong.
today,
i had a chat with someone like that.
i always enjoy meeting with them because they’re much more aggressive.
they take time to listen over my concerns and try to help anyway they can.
the advice they give comes off more helpful and even insightful.
i feel comfortable speaking to them.
it’s refreshing.
they gave me some advice today that i will follow.
it’s hard because my mind is already made up,
but it should help keep my anxiety at bay.
Now all I need is for the wolf who I suspect is interested in me to move a lot faster
all will be right in my world.
Omg y’all really are my tribe! I just said to myself no more DL and definitely not in 2020. I’m the aggressive type but I forced myself to be more laidback because I thought I was scaring them off or seeing something that wasn’t there. But being laidback has gotten me laid and nothing else. Fuck that! I’m ready to date for real and be in a relationship if it goes there. I don’t just need sex whenever it shows up.
I need love and the support that comes with it. I went back to being aggressive and I have a date next week with a guy who is very attractive but isn’t my type. I’m ready to switch shit up and get out of my comfort zone or whatever box I’ve pigeonholed myself in. I’m taking risks and enjoying my life.
Jamari you’re in your 30’s (early 30’s here), you can’t sit by the sidelines anymore. You can’t be a victim so turn it into being a victor and get out there. Get out your head and live in the moment. You have a lot to offer so don’t let fear and anxiety hold you back. It gets lonely and there is only so many times you can fuck yourself watching porn until it gets boring.
I wish you all the best! Be proactive not reactive.
How do you sound adorable and sexy at the same time?!
I wish you luck with approaching. I approached because I had a “What I won’t do, somebody else will” mindset. But I had to realize the guys I was approaching thought I was out of their league.
Men don’t want the friendly, amiable guy. They want the guy everybody knows nothing About. Mysterious. So now I’m mysterious. *shrugs*
It might be due to you being the aggressor. I used to approach, but I had to realize that I’m intimidating. And what happens is I’m expected to be stuck up and rude. So since I’m not, me approaching boosts their ego and they start getting cocky.
So I now let them approach me. And many are afraid to. Think of it this way: You may not be comfortable with PDA, but do you want a husband who ignores you in public?
I imagine you want the “bro” type appearance in public.
With my logic, the guy who is brave enough to approach me will have thought out something more clever than a corny pickup line. The last guy who approached me it was because I introduced myself when in a group and he remembered. People love being acknowledge. Whenever there’s a new Black guy anywhere, ALWAYS SAY HELLO.
I went out-of-state this summer to somewhere where Black people are scarce. I’m from the “If you approach/make eye contact people get ready for a fight” area of the country. So I don’t say Hello to people. But done there where it felt like Get Out? It was a relief when I did see another Black person. I said Hello to every last one I saw. They Lit UP.
So when you see a Black guy around town, at the Starbucks, who is on your commute? Say something! Even just the Black man acknowledgement nod.
I had this SEXY guy on my commute everyday for a year. I never said anything. When I went to a graduation out of state..I saw him. What are the odds? If I’d even nodded at him once, I could have said a “Wow, you followed me to another state?” introduction.
We’re not doing DL in 2020, Jamari. Discreet and professional. Professional whatever. Especially if he’s smart and made his own app or runs a business through social media.
Hey, Jamari. My bf is hella aggressive and I am mostly submissive but when I’m feeling myself I can be hella aggressive…”bratty”. So sexually I’m more of a brat. My bf is what you would call a brat tamer. (Not to be telling all my private business or anything..lol)
You need to find the communities that have what you want. Know what you like, find the appropriate community and link.
I’m not into the whole multiple partner things so I didnt really mesh well with gay app hookup only culture.
You sorta sound like me with the demisexual, sapiosexual & submissive nature (in the bedroom).
I have those BDSM traits without actually getting whipped or thrown across the room in an Ike and Tina situation. More of a personified adventure. Like I’m pretty intellectual all on grounds but a mischievous delinquent behind closed doors..lol
I know I drifted off into a freaky post all of a sudden lol but some things in your post reminded me of some of the kinks people have.
Idk. I’ve reached a point in my life where I thought I wanted a husband (even though I jokingly call him that) when I really just wanted someone who I could relate to me, except my flaws and still call me fabulous. Since I went so long with a man, getting a nikka really meant nothing to me. Wasn’t looking for one at all but he popped up.
I hardly can deal with other submissive dudes sexually. You can still be a Top and be submissive but I wasn’t putting up with one guy who asked if he could eat my buns like he was afraid to ask. He was afraid to ask for everything. Sounded like a nervous 15 year old. and I’m looking at him like..don’t ask me, tell me you fixing to do it..that’s what I like…just go home. 😒 To be fair this was when I first started messing with a guy for experimenting. No anal or nothing like that.
Even when I did the 9-5 work stuff, I subconsciously liked that dominating stuff. Even when around my leads I would say shit on the slick to get me handled…Not in a way that would get me fired or anything but you know what I mean. I can say shit just to see how a man would respond & if he does it in a way to correct me and does it in an intelligent manner, it turns me the hell on. 😍
I only did this to men I was attracted to though…regardless if I knew their orientation. I wouldn’t recommend just blindly doing it like I did though.. lol Some dudes hostile (which is fine cause if you try to fight me I will beat your ass. I’m from the deep South and we don’t play…ok?) 🤣 But it’s a harmless interaction the majority of the time.
I prefer women to be submissive and don’t like them when they are raw and aggressive like men.
Oh, I’m getting sidetracked..
As far as me approaching men in public, If I was single now I would definitely flirt with one and give him the eye fuck test for sure. These females been snatching straight nikkas souls with eye contact for millennia. Vixens are well aware of their power. Some of them are so powerful, they can even enchant gay men. 🤯
But it’s good to be a gay man who can tap into both these traits for sure. The raw nature of a wolf mixed with the elusiveness of a fox. I personally believe trans sexuals have this down packed.
Something I need to study about for sure.
“don’t ask me, tell me you fixing to do it.”
You like testing men and their boundaries. Get it!