I got something that I didn’t realize until yesterday when I was in sudden pain.

it all started with an itch…

no,
not that kind,
though i can see where your mind might be going.
lets play with that for a while.

when chirstmas day started,
i felt infected with sadness.
i felt raw,
uncomfortable,
and lonely.
every moment was a burning reminder of the bad choices,
missed signals,
and how everyone else was probably having a happier christmas than me.
after i hosted a cute solo pity christmas party,
i realized i’ve been carrying something all year:

I started unwrapping a deep,
undeniable
sense of self-worth I never thought I would see in myself.

i have been tested,
stripped down,
and left raw like an open wound but i’ve also:

Healed
Grown
Started to make small steps into my purpose

so yeah,
i got something unexpected this year.
it was something uncomfortable at first but ultimately life-changing.
call it wisdom.
call it worth.
call it the kind of gift that will keep on giving.
honestly?

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

i hope YOU had a merry christmas,
regardless if it was alone or surrounded by loved ones.

lowkey: NOW…
i want to hear christmas songs.