I Feel Sad That My Highlight Reel Isn’t Like Others

that use to be me.
not as bad now,
but i have my moments.
i was doing some thinking today foxhole.

i’m always thinking,
but i came to the conclusion

We are all pretty much the same

no one is truly “better” than anyone else.
sure,
some are more blessed than others,
but we all have one thing in common.

that stops for no one.

i wake up at 6am every weekday morning.
i have to be in work by 8:30am.
they hired me because of experience.
if i don’t perform well at work,
i’ll lose my job.
in corporate america,
it is a constant game of working around white privilege.
every day can be a test.
when i leave,
i get home and head straight to the foxhole.
i have laser focus on this site because it will become my career.
i invest time and energy into making my dreams come true.

the attentionisto may think they’re better,
but they have to constantly generate attention on social media.
they have to find ways to build followers to become influencers.
one they do that,
they will start to get paid to promote various products.
shit they probably will never use.
the moment they fall off,
or say/do the wrong thing,
the public will replace them.
the public is their bosses and our “likes” keep them employed.
aside that,
they have to spend countless hours making sure their aesthetic is perfect.
angles are right; filters are poppin.
money has to be spent on new photo shoots.
competetion is high in those attentionisto forests.
there is always someone with a better bawdy being born.
don’t let the new attentionisto have an amazing bawdy,
great personality,
gay friendly,
AND talented

the escorts aren’t just nice clothes and cars.
some have to suck a dick or two to get put on.
listen,
that’s work in itself.
you can suck a million dicks and go no nowhere.
all that mouth action for nada.
they have to suck/fuck folks they aren’t necessarily attracted to.
the escort’s main job,
like the attentionisto,
is to be physically appealing.
that means they have to spend countless hours in the gym.
the money can be great,
but that has to go towards paying bills and rent.
unless they’re in someone’s will,
that money will be gone before you know it.
so they gotta constantly have more escorting gigs lined up.
the moment the next younger and more adventurous escort comes along,
it’s lights out and back on the hunt for new prey.

celebrities don’t have it any better.
they’re my life,
attentionistos,
and escorts rolled into one.
their days involve meetings after meetings,
auditions after auditions,
and finding various ways to stay relevant.
some have to memorize a ton of lines for various projects.
that is if they’re good enough to get work.
music artists have to consistently be in the studio.
their goal is to find the next “hit” song.
a better song than the competition.
not only that,
they have to follow up with a hit album.
once they do that,
they have to go across the country/world to tour.
that’s hours of practice,
meetings,
rehearsals,
and vocal training (for singers).
all while coming out with new music,
being a guest feature on a track,
or working on side acting projects.
don’t forget the insame amounts of scrutiny.
random folks trying to tear you down or expose your secrets.
all that is draining af,
but those who are focused get farther than the rest.
the moment they aren’t an investment to their label,
or score blockbuster movies/successful tv shows (if they act),
they’ll get dropped and fade into oblivion.

see we tend to look at everyone’s highlight reels.
the “everyone is living the good life but me”.
nah.
we don’t see the amount of hours of hustle,
sacrifice,
or soul selling that happens behind the scenes.
it’s not easy to wake up to work a regular job,
an attentionsito,
the escort,
be a celeb,
we all have to hustle hard for these highlight reels out here.
be thankful tho.
some highlight reels you truly don’t want.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

4 thoughts on “I Feel Sad That My Highlight Reel Isn’t Like Others

  1. So true. The grass is not always greener on the other side. You never know what anybody does (good or bad) to get to the level that they are on. That’s why I do me and don’t compare my journey to anyone else’s.

    1. ^exactly.

      this is why i stopped thinking someone’s life was better than mine.
      when you really look,
      everyone has to do something to keep their lives afloat.
      no one is truly “coasting” unless they are retired/hooked on drugs.

  2. I would have to agree about the emptiness on the other side of the coin…The Instagram models and attenistos. I had over my house last night and it was nothing about talking about how everyone is fine in Atlanta and the big booty girls rather than stability and a plan.

    He left after an hour because he was bored because I had to go to work. Truth of the matter is that are boring lives provide the stability and foundation for us to live the exciting lives in the future though it seems far away!

    Stay positive and keep sharing who you are and who you will be

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