i had an interesting dream just now.
it woke me up out my nap.
i’m not really feeling well and i’m drugged up on flu medication.
spo the dream was me in my old crib.
my parent’s spot.
i had just finished cleaning up my room.
the room was brighter.
the sun was beaming through these large windows.
my mother walked in.
i pointed to how organized my closet was.
it looked like she was teary eyed.
i looked at her and we locked eyes.
i asked her what was wrong.
i couldn’t really hear her voice,
but i heard what she said.
if that makes any sense?
she asked me…
“Was it me?
Did I make you this way?
I just want to know…”
i remember being speechless in the dream at her question.
i told her no.
i don’t remember what happened after that,
but i responded at some point:
“I don’t understand this judgement.
Straight people do so much wicked things,
but who I choose to love is wrong?”
she stood and just looked at me.
she was speechless.
it felt good to see her and even having this conversation,
although she was disappointed.
my phone ended up ringing and woke me up.
i don’t know what that dream was trying to tell me,
but it felt real.
keeping it 100 with the foxhole,
i don’t think that convo would have gone that calm in real life tho.
i’m sure i would have been packing up that same cleaned closet.