FOXMAIL
Dear Jamari,
First and foremost I just want to let you know that I love your daily blogs. They’re on my top 5 “do to” lists whenever I decide to log on my laptop every morning. It’s nice to have a little haven where we can all relate in some way as black men in the LGBT community.
This is going to be a bit of a ride so buckled up..
Now here is the thing.. I am a 19 year old student and I currently live with my parents. They know I’m gay since I came out to them a year ago but they weren’t too pleased about it (duh) so ever since that day they pretty much brushed it under the rug and never spoke about it ever since. My father took it better than my mother, he thinks it’s a phase and my mother just walked out the room when I came out because she couldn’t take it. Nothing bad happened though, no insults/beatings etc. They just couldn’t wrap their heads around it so it got awkward. My brothers & sister took it well though. Needless to say I feel lost when it comes to having guidance being a black gay man. I feel like had I had a mentor or advice given to me while I was dealing with this then I wouldn’t have made a lot of the mistakes that I’ve made. Especially in my mid-teens.
Anyways, my supervisor at my retail job decided to end my contract a few days before Christmas so as you know I was really beat up about it. Needless to say a modelling agent who scouted me weeks before that just informed me that I got signed to my current modelling agency. However after a month in, I still haven’t gotten any talks about payments for the work that I did so I feel like I was sold a dream. So I don’t have much faith in it anymore..
So here comes to juicy part, I signed up to this site for Sugar Daddies/Babies called “Seeking Arrangement” all out of boredom and curiosity. I am 6’3, bronze complexion, have an athletic build & have a really chiseled bone structure. Now a couple guys have hit me up, and one guy who flew in my city yesterday to visit for business wants me to go on a date with him tomorrow. He let me know that as a part of our arrangement that physical intimacy will definitely have to happen at some point if I want to keep this arrangement going. This guy has a networth of more than $620,000. His profile stated that his networth was $6 mill. I’ll take that with a grain of salt though. He is average looking and he really wants to spoil me.
Here is the issue, I haven’t been paid in a while and I am in real need of quick money. I’m tired of asking my parents for money when I know they have to provide for my siblings too. I have needs. But there is a side of me that feels so grim for even going along with this. I feel like I was blessed with a life where I don’t need to do it and I feel lowkey immoral for it too. I was damn near depressed in class all day today thinking about it. I feel like I’ll be scarred for life if I have sex for money. Because that pretty much what having a Sugar Daddy is all about. But in the other side of my mind I was thinking about all the money that I could get.. I’m just so torn at the moment.
Any insight? Please
MY ANSWER…
well reader,
i want to thank you for the compliment.
i’m so glad the foxhole has helped so many.
even on days i’m at my lowest,
i know i can come here and have the feeling of family.
again: thank you for all your positive energy!
i’m sorry to hear you lost your job.
been there many times before.
i’m also sorry the modelling gig didn’t work out.
if it isn’t a top modelling agency,
like wilhelmina or ford,
i would pretty expect fuckery.
some agencies like to prey on the young and naive as well.
always do your research before you sign on the dotted lines.
so the age ol dilemma of:
“doing something strange for a little piece of change”
its one that many of us struggle with.
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aaaah who am i kidding?
a majority of these animals out here fuckin’ for free.
i remember the time a semi famous animal wanted a piece of me.
he was sexy,
thick muscular,
and from what i felt,
the pipe was kinda right.
i was like 21 or so,
and still a newbie in the gay forest.
he took me on a few dates and things were pretty solid.
he said he would help make me a star if i spent the night with him.
“one night with this wolf,
let him bang me out a few times,
and all my dreams come true?
hmmm…”
like you,
i struggled with the same thoughts as well.
needless to say,
when i finally decided to do it after being pressured,
he showed his ass and proved that if i let him get some,
i probably would not have been a “star”.
he probably just used that line to try and get me in bed.
my wallet was dry AF until i found another wolf to take me out.
reader…
life is a risk.
you either try things or you sit them out.
no one can force you to make a decision,
but always remember,
there is a good and bad to everything.
the problem with this sugar daddy is he isn’t letting it come naturally.
like the his conquests of social media past,
he is giving you an ultimatum.
in other words:
he is treating you like a whore
for some,
that’s fine.
have the money on the dresser after you wipe them off.
for you,
i sense you have some kind of morals.
if you tell me you were “depressed”,
then i know this is not for you.
i can’t tell you what to do,
but if i’ve learned anything in life,
its:
a) go with the flow when it comes to wolves and money
b) do what makes you comfortable; people can tell when your heart isn’t in something
if you aren’t comfortable with that arrangement,
it will transcend all in your body language.
the sex will also be terrible and he will drop you like a bad habit.
your wallet will be dry AF and you will feel used.
if you do go through with it,
you may have to call the shots.
just because you have nothing to offer doesn’t mean you don’t have cards.
you have the hole he wants to penetrate,
or the pipe he wants to get penetrated with,
right?
okay then.
find out what he wants,
who he really is,
and make sure he lives up to his end of the bargain.
silly animals fuck first and ask questions later
you aren’t silly.
i would also get your resume out there still.
it’s always good when you have your own.
when a wolf of status knows you have to depend on him,
you will become “cassie”.
you don’t want to be “cassie”.
you want to walk away like its nothing.
“cassie” will get dumped for “jlo” with no questions asked.
…oh and would i do it?
depends
i just have a few conditions if i’m going to play “the whore”.
i hope this helped you in some way.
i have so many who read my site,
i’m sure someone will offer a life gem for you!
keep me updated and good luck!
sending positive vibrations your way!
best,
jamari fox
lowkey: someone get one of the attentionistos up on here.
they sold their souls and can offer some great advice!
need advice: CONTACT
Do what you feel comfortable with. Me personally, I would do it.
Times are tough right now, use what you got to get what you want. Most of the money in the world hasn’t been made honestly, but it all spends the same. You’re not hurting anyone.
I agree with Jamari. I say do what you think is best for you youngin. Personally I would not do it. Not just because money low. Unless is really was between my resources being exhausted and i was really in a hard place. I just think it’s so crazy how our society put a price tag on everything. “But they getting money” is everyone’s favorite line when nowadays. Yes, they maybe “getting money”. But that’s at the cost of their morals, dignity and or legacy.
If you are a 19yo , selling ass to supplement the student loans. A net worth of $600k and a net worth of $6 million are the same. Both can afford to keep you in descent clothes and keep a little cash in your pocket plus the occasional luxurious gift. Neither is going to buy you a Bentley. So? If Mr. $600k comes along, don’t turn up your nose, bend your knees.
The minute young buck decided to fill out the form on seeking arrangements, he decided to become a whore. From there, the issue becomes one of market segmentation. On one end he could be out on the stroll giving bjs for drugs and pocket change. At the other end, you could be kept by one wealthy man for a time before moving on to another similar situation.
I suggest trying for the latter end of the market. I draw zero moral distinction between the two. But, the former is more dangerous and less remunerative. But be realistic. The notion that a beautiful, young millionaire is going to pay your bills and rock your world is a pipe dream (literally). Most people who can and will support you in exchange for sex are old, fat and UpperMiddleClass not super ricch.
If selling your body is how you will support yourself, try to get as far up the food chain as your genetics will take you. For most that means sexual transactions not long term arrangements. Depending upon where you live, you can assemble a stable of 5-7 “regulars” willing to pay $125-$300 per nut a couple of times per month. If you are outrageously beautiful and live in NYC, La or SF you can probably assemble a stable of regulars who will pay $500-$1000 for a night, a few times per year.
Remember that, unlike for females, there are no old male whores. Few can at this game after age 35 and almost none thereafter. So, it’s important to maximize your prime prostitution years and plea for the day when it no longer works. Maybe marry one of your regulars or get a regular job.
^this was insanely on point.
Jay you hit all the nails on the head in
your comment
When I was in college I was introduced to this older gentleman out of state who was pretty well off. He flew guys in to his hometown, cater to them, and then if they did what he wanted them to do, he will pay them considerably. Because of my looks, I was one of the fortunate ones who got a good check for a bit of jacking and oral. I was a struggling student at the time and it helped to pay a lot of bills. After meeting with this gentleman on several occasions, I really didn’t feel dirty but it was weird to sort of get paid for companionship and sexual favors. I would not let anyone penetrate me for money because you never know what people’s intentions are these days. Just be safe, play safe, and only do what you don’t think you would regret doing.
^love this answer o!
the last line especially!
Since you are beautiful, and in need of quick money, see if you can do internet modeling. You wear something to conceal your face . The trick will request what he wants, maybe you’ll only have to be nude and jack off! I wish you the best.aa
Jamari, those sites are bullshit. I would avoid them like the plague. High net worth individuals (hnwi) aren’t on those sites, only small time johns who want the thrill of being wanted. If it all goes bad, what’s the recourse for the fox who sent this letter in? The simple answer: there won’t be one besides loss of pride and broken promises. He’s better off advertising on backpage if he wants to make a quick buck, but I’m sure he’s still very green since he is 19 and all.
^glad to know they are trash.
is “backpage” how all the attentionisto do it?
you will see there pictures on there,
but i always assumed they were cat fishes.
i figured the email option was the best way.
for “booking purposes” usually meant “on call”.
lol
Backpage can be hit or miss. I’ve never met anyone from there but I do know of an attentionisto or two who use it. When you think about it, it’s the perfect avenue. On the one hand, if it doesn’t work you, the attentionisto can claim to have been the victim of a catfishing scheme. On the other hand, if it does work out, the attentionisto gets paid and still gets the benefit of the doubt from the public. It’s a good scheme if you think about it. I agree with you on the e-mail in bio option though. Lmfao.
@Pierre you are right. I been on Seeking Arrangement too and none of the sugar daddies are sugar daddies, more like splenda daddies. Most of the guys I seen on that site aren’t making shit, especially at my location. One dude said he doesn’t want to be a sugar daddy but yet he’s on a site that is specifically made for sugar daddies/sugar babies… Yea so I don’t trust the old dude that is preying on the 19 year old because this could be a scam to get him in bed and not pay him at all.
Exactly, Lindo! Plus, there’s no real way to verify the supposed sugar daddy’s income. Hell, I could join now and say I’m worth $5.6 million. Lol. Now if they added mandatory verification upon signing up, I’d be all for these sites, but men of a certain net worth don’t operate that way. It’s a scam, a cheap Splenda scam at that, and the 19-year-old kid is in for a world of heartache because he’s chasing a dollar.
splenda Daddy lol Lindo you’re a hoot