FOXMAIL
You know I have to come to you for advice, you always help me out and you’re like a friend in my head, but here is the situation, so of course you know that I’m College right now, and there is this guy that I think is so adorable and sexy, now we have a mutual relationship. he is a cool guy, and I actually told him about the relationship I just got out of with my ex-boyfriend that I told you about…
… that didn’t go so well.
Well he told me he already knew , even before that my relationship was bad, could be from seeing things on facebook and wanted me to get out of the relationship because it wasn’t good for me. so recently I spoke about getting a paw print on my leg and told him if he thought that would be to much, he said no wouldn’t he has a friend that I actually kind of know who is a tranney, and supposedly he knows everyone else in the lifestyle that are very out there. but here is the catch, he said that he is not gay, and that he always has to remind his gay friend that if they were to touch him he would be uncomfortable and probably would throw hands at them. So after the fact he gave me his number and said that we can hang out whenever, he doesn’t mind that like at a bar but he works three jobs. but so my question to you jamari, is do you think he is gay.
Second Guy
There is also another guy when I am at school, he always goes out of his way to say hello to me, I find him quite charming, he has a child, light skin, green eyes, very muscular, and he is sexy. one day I told someone close to me if they could ask if he is gay, he told them know, so lost all hope and everytime he is at my job he looks at women, you can tell he is a playa, lady’s man or so what have you, but however he always seems to focus his attention on me sometimes which I find kind of odd, he is very masculine but has this warm, charming side to him, he is really cool to me. but what I would like to ask you is what do you think about these two are they suspect or you don’t think he is.
MY ANSWER…
i’ll keep this one brief.
we in the lifestyle want the perfect wolf.
muscular.
masculine.
money.
he may greet us and touch us in ways that may turn us on.
we look in his eyes and we see something.
anything.
we want this wolf to get down…
…and lay the pipe down on us something serious.
BUT…
when we wake up from that fantasy,
we will see that it was all just a dream.
little fox,
i can’t tell you if these two get down just by what you are telling me.
i’d have to see them interact with you.
how he touches you.
if he looks at you when he walks by,
i’m not merlin or dora the explorer.
i would hate to tell you “YES!”.
you get excited and then you get your lip popped.
if they get down,
they will let you know.
trust.
wolves who see their prey are just waiting for the right time.
comments?
anyone need advice from me and the foxhole.
go here: CONTACT
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Jay pretty much summed up everything I was going to say….
At the end of the day; all you have is you. You came in to this world by yourself and you’re going to leave this world by yourself (sorry if that sounds harsh).
I’m not saying don’t make friends or don’t get into a relationship in life (everybody wants happiness), but don’t give so much of yourself to people who can honestly give a shit about you. After a while you start losing yourself in that. You start to become a “people pleaser,” and everything you do revolves around them. NOBODY should ever take more from the table than what they put on it. You just need to continue working on yourself and building your confidence back. It may be a long learning process, but it’ll be well worth it in the end. I promise….
@TheMan I’mJust figuring it out now, its life, and I have to try to figure out things on my own and many people don’t know my story or anything about me, I have been through a lot, but it is building me up to be a stronger person, I’m use to having people leave in and out my life, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, just have to keep moving on with life, until its all over. I have a lot of people that try to break me but almost everybody in life will try to bring you don. But for now, I have to stay strong, if crying in the dark by myself is what will help me, being by myself, and isolating myself from the world, that’s what will happen, I guess god has something in store for me. I’m waiting patiently.
If anyone on this Earth can relate to what you’re going through they’re probably in this comment section.
You think you’re the only one that has to deal with people coming in and out of your life and using you and throwing you to the side?
I used to pray for a loyal friend.
NOT a boyfriend or girlfriend.
NOT a muscular, light-skinned man to save me like a Tyler Perry play.
Just a friend.
I would be on my knees just praying for someone that understood what I was going through and to just encourage me.
Eventually I stopped praying and decided if I was going to be eternally solo, I was going to make my damn self happy.
So If I want to treat myself I do it.
Love and having 100 friends may not be my path, but that’s no reason to sit in the dark and cry. Cry then get over it.
I refuse to believe love and companionship is the end all be all of life.
@JAY I understand where you are coming, just takes time to adjust, I mean I like it so far, just being independent and not counting on anyone else to do things for me. Ive come to far to stop here, no time for complaining and carrying on with sob story, at a point I thought I wouldn’t make it on my own and that maybe I need someone else to help guide me because I am so broken but I’m starting to realize as long as I’m focus and know what I want in life, I can have whatever. A man wont give me the love that I can give for myself, that includes, self respect, making myself happy by doing things for myself and just have a union with self to have a understand of who I am as a person.
I’m not giving up on love or anything but right now its just not right for me, it may stem from my mother and father, they’re relationship was very abusive and always had a aunt that told me my mother was beautiful person but had guys walk all over here and treat her bad. I think history is repeating itself, with the low self-esteem that I gained during past relationship and its baggage that guys don’t want to deal with but I think I’m the only person that has to grab every bag that has held me back out the window and keeping moving to the future. I’m officially done with chasing after guys and wanting this fairytale romance and/or relationship, I’ve been through enough, why would I want to put myself through anything more. I just pray that better days will come, but right now love is not what want from someone else, I’m already sacred, I’m finding myself and guess they always say at 21 is when you get a understand of yourself and the world and I’m already starting to figure everything out by each day, that love will come and go, people will come and go, but YOU will always remain. I’m happy with that, less heartache to deal with.
My advice?
You need to slow the fuck down.
Not for nothing, but aren’t you just two months removed from being in a relationship with a man you claimed to be in love with? So much so that you allowed him to cheat on you, belittle you, and routinely use you as his personal toilet bowl?
You just hopped off one dick and are already plotting on the next two?
You’re young. I get it. I’m young too. And although I don’t personally Pokemon the male species (“Gotta catch ’em all!”), I know plenty of boys my age that do. But you clearly need to stop and be by yourself for awhile and if the shit wasn’t made clear from the last two messages you submitted, the shit is crystal now.
You’re young. Still in college. HIV positive. Just out of an abusive relationship. And you’re already looking to settle down with someone else. You’re not looking for love.
You are looking for validation. And that will NEVER come from another man.
There’s something to be said for people who can’t ever be by themselves: low self esteem.
A man is nice to you, so that means he’s interested? He explicitly tells you if a man ever approached him sideways, he’d hurt him, but you’re pursuing him anyway?
Some will criticize me for this response. Some will tell me I’m going too hard on you. But you need to wake the fuck up. If we spent more time being tough with one another in order to build each other up as much as we spent tearing each other down, we’d be much better off.
^personally,
I was waiting for your comment.
this entry needs tough love.
the man and keyon made excellent points.
that being said,
I wholeheartedly agree with this comment.
Thank you for the comment I really do appreciate it, I recently just figured out that, I need to be by myself and that maybe the lifestyle just isn’t for me, I find myself caught with guys for sex and then I’m labeled something that put myself and I need to take responsibility for it. I basically shut everybody out of my life, family, friends, etc, and its almost been a month since ive spoken to anyone, yeah sometimes it gets lonely but i’m at peace, I don’t have to be around people making me feel least than dirt, at some point I plan to move from where I am and I wont tell anyone, just cause i’m in a different place in my life, guys cant give me what I want or deserve, now ive been doing things for myself, I wanna finish my bachelors and go into my masters and just focus on school and my personal growth, love is nowhere to be found in my future. guys just don’t want me and I just have to face that fact, but its all good, it will keep me out of trouble. not searching for sex or anything, decided Ill be celibate, its best that way, its already been a month and i’m actually happy being by myself, some will say i’m lonely and miserable, which I’m actually not, I’m content, working on me, and making my dreams come true. I don’t trust anybody anymore and no one wants me because of my virus. i’m a good guy maybe sometime in future if i’m still alive, somebody will come, maybe when i’m 30 or something just right now, I’m in a dark place in life but I’m also trying to succeed and find my happiness, I thank you much for the comment. Yes, I need tough love. its te only way I will understand because no one is telling me unless i’m asking jamari and seeing the comments that are written. But thanks again, I’m learning, its a process.
I feel so sorry for you man, I truly do cause you are hurt, lost, and mentally dead. I just want to give you a hug and tell you everything will be ok. Do you guys see what I see in him? This is a young man who is near my age and will go through the rest of his life in pain. It’s truly sad.
No need in feeling sorry for yourself.
If you take nothing else from all of this, remember all you have is YOU at the end of the day.
Take care of yourself because if you don’t, no one else will.
I agree you will definitely know when a man wants you, guys cant really play hard to get for too long… and don’t be so eager, if they like you they will let you know and hint in more ways than just saying hi. and I agree with kinky, get some alone time with yourself.
Personally i here you with these new guys but honestly gays some how miss the part about taking a break and healing emotionally and spiritually. Remember.You just came out of a very dysfunctional relationship i think spend some time work on you build some actual positive self esteem.
Most gay men always seek the next relationship to fill the void and that is what carries us right back into the same cycle. Trust me it have plenty guys in the sea and when its right you wont have to do all this guessing.
*hear
^so feeling this answer kinky.
i understand we all want to find someone,
but after the last 2 f0xmails,
i would hope little fox would keep it extremely light.
The second one is straight. Just because he speaks to you means nothing. That is not enough to go on. The first dude is suspect tho. He has too many gay friends for a college dude. I’m down and I only have a few here lol. Hey, for a sophomore that ain’t bad. I remember when I had none lmao… It ain’t straight dude that young with that many…hell nah. At that age most dudes are homophobes.
^110%.
Totally agree with man, not everyone is gay/dl/bi there are actually some liberal nice straight guys out there.