after a long dry spell,
and a few people who came in too fast and disappeared just as quickly,
i’m re-learning how to open up again while being emotionally sore.

on super bowl sunday,
i was invited to a party at this new place i’m in.
i’ve been here about a month now and i’ve started mingling.
well tbh,
people started mingling with me.
one thing about me is:

people want access to me and get comfortable fast.

i don’t know if it’s my energy,
my softness,
or the way i make people feel safe but it happens.

so i met a straight couple downstairs last week,
and after about an hour of talking,
they told me to come through to this party they were having.
honestly?
it was so much fun.
being around new people reminded me of who i am,
how easily i connect,
and how much i enjoy meeting new wolves…
uh,
people.
meeting new people.

after the high has come down,
i find myself paused on all of it at 411am…

i have a question right quick.
kinda.

so last night,
the barbie lady was flipping out on the x swamp because of the grammys.
trevor “big bootiicious” noah made a joke about her,
everyone cheered because she wasn’t there,
and followed up going after the current president.

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barbie lady woke up and chose violence:

 

 

 

 

 

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this is the second or fifth time she has been homophobic.
doesn’t that bother people?
and if he did have a lowkey boyfriend,
so what?
why did she choose to allegedy out him as her comeback?

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of course,
she went into a tirade about her arch nemesis in process:

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my issue is…

this is the “peace sign” many of her stans and supporters are giving her today tbh.

everyone has been looking back at 2016 lately.
why?
i don’t even know.
that was kind of a horrendous year tbh.
in 2016,
nicki minaj was crowned one of the 100 most influential people in the world by time.

this is a throwback to the red carpet for that event:

life has a funny way of shaking things up.
sometimes,
it even brings randoms together that you’d never suspect.
if you would have told “2016 nicki” that this would be “2026 nicki”…

in that pic,
he looks like how i feel.
pfft.

once upon a time,
i was an idiot who wanted to see the good in people after they said “sorry”.
those were fun times of learning that:

anyone can say they’re sorry when they’re sorry about their current circumstances.

it doesn’t mean they’re genuinely sorry.
we have programmed by our parentals that one word asking for forgiveness holds weight.
we were told to take an apology only to learn it meant shit in the long run,
especially when it came from siblings.

there are legit murderer that said they were sorry during sentencing,
all in hopes of getting off or a lighter sentence.

how many times has our toxic exes said they were “sorry”?
friends who hurt us and see we are doing better coming back with apologies?
“the one that let you get away” suddenly realizes you were the right one for them?

so when i saw kanye put out a full page spread in the “wall street journal“,
apologizing to the jewish and black communities for his past harmful behavior…

…emotionally tho,
it’s been a big yikes.
as much fun as sexy wolves are:

my mentals have been all over the place.

if “faking it til you make it” was a competition,
i’d win a platinum medal.
that has been faking a smile when i’d rather say fuck everyone.
i’ve literally been the entire “after laughter” album from paramore.

when you are staying at someone else’s crib tho,
you gotta fake it as much as possibly you can.
you don’t want to give them the impression you are ungrateful.
i have been enjoying making sure dishes are washed,
trash is taken out,
products i use gets replaced,
and everything is order before they get home.
that is one of the many things i learned from Mum and even Star Fox…

he looks ultra dusty.
yuck.
ain’t no amount of horny in the forests…

ya’ll have sent me some disturbing shit in my Foxhole,
but this one took the whole cake for me.
i always wonder what goes on in people’s homes.
they may look great on the outside,
but sometimes,
we are surrounded by real monsters.

this includes males we meet off sites for sex to host in their homes.

we don’t know who they dun’ killed up in their homes,
or if they gonna kill us in their homes.
^that one dust bunny hyena up there to wanted to fuck so bad off grindr…