When I was dealing with Work Wolf,
the anticipation of what was going to happen next took me under.
The anxiety over which vixen he’d be into next left me spiraling.
I made the mistake of falling deeply in love with him,
hoping he’d finally see me and choose me.
Every time I saw him at work with another vixen,
whether it was talking or he spoke about his interest,
my heart would race and I’d find myself in the bathroom.
I’d be physically sick from stress and I’d “release” by throwing up.
Bad enough,
I was dealing with so much on my plate from work and horrible bosses.
When that finally ended and we went our separate ways,
I weighed 120 lbs from 160.
I am 5’11.

Fast forward to my last job.
I was under so much stress by the consistent work load they’d pile on me.
Front desk,
office manager,
mail clerk,
payroll,
greeting celebrities,
and being a personal assistant to everyone in the office.
Every day,
I would be picked apart and nit picked by all 3 of my bosses.
Nothing I ever did was right.
Despite being well-liked by many,
including the celebs that walked in the door,
my bosses’ jealousy and envy made my days a living nightmare.
The daily pressure had me running to the bathroom to throw up after every meal.
At my going away party,
the photos showed a gaunt,
almost unrecognizable face.
I wear a 32 in pants but had to tighten my belt to the last hole.

this morning,
it happened again…

I couldn’t help but wonder,
are people underpaid and underfucked according to the news?

in one forest,
it feels like we’re inching closer to a dystopian nightmare a la the handmaid’s tale.
in my forest,
it seems like everyone around me is having their brains fucked out,
one way or another.
i saw this today…

Are they really sad because he isn’t his past self,
or because he switched it up to fit society’s standards?

when i saw that tweet,
i remembered a past situation.
during one of my most intense struggles in my timeline,
i was dragged to a community center known for being a safe space for gay youth.
as someone who didn’t feel comfortable being gay yet,
the experience was a bit too deep for my then-fragile comfort zone.

It was there that I first noticed him...

I couldn’t help but wonder,
has our value as humans become tied with our ability to perform?

picture this…

Can we still have an opinion on a subject even if we have skeletons in our closets?

that was the question swirling in my mind today.
i saw joe budden taking center stage for his alleged past shenanigans again.
everyone was clamoring for his take on diddy’s latest drama,
despite knowing the whispers that follow his DV allegations.
his exes make no qualms of calling out his past domestic violence.
in typical joey fashion,
he had some choice words for tahiry’s claims about him:

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A post shared by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom)

Anyway, here’s a video of Joe Budden gleefully telling a story of how he left his tour and broke into Tahiry’s home because she wouldn’t answer his texts pic.twitter.com/0VRomBYGMJ https://t.co/Zgsd6RiOyx

— – (@BasedJane) May 22, 2024

as you know,
or didn’t,
but i believe joe has one of the sexiest voices in podcasting.
i’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t entertain that voice at 1am.
let’s get real for a moment tho…

i didn’t sleep well last night.
my night involved the most intense nightmares.
i can’t even font you what they were about but i felt fear.
there were times i kept waking up out of my sleep.
that wasn’t the part tho.
so rewind back to earlier last night…