i use to own a little sports car many years ago.
it was an older model,
but you couldn’t tell me shit when i was in that.
this was way before i started writing on here.
i was living at my sister’s aunt’s crib and life was kinda peaceful.
something went down and i owed money on the car.
i ended up having to park it and get on that metrocard plan.
it stayed parked for a year or two without movement.
i would have to go shovel it out of snow every winter.
sometimes,
i didn’t.
one day i went out outside and saw a red letter stuck to the window…

Continue reading “a story of how i got “got” but God ended up getting me back (can he come through again?)” →

insecurity makes us create stories as explanations.
when we are insecure about something,
we try to throw others off the scent with an elaborate tale.
it never worked because it always comes back to bite you in both cheeks.
your old tales have a way of catching up with your new ones.
when i was insecure about certain things,
i’d explain myself in a way that i thought would make me look good.
in actuality,
it brought more guilt down on my head.
the entry i wrote yesterday about being married/having kids led a foxholer to ask me this:

“Jamari, it would be great to create a post on how to respond to these unwelcomed dating inquiries and hear how others would respond.”

and i have just the response for everyone that works for me…

Continue reading “how to respond when someone thinks you’re gay af for not being married or having kids” →

from my past entries,
you know i’m not good with smoking weed.
last time i smoked,
i was higher than jupiter.
i was legit professor x out here,
putting together pieces of puzzles and the meaning of space and time.
i realized weed and i don’t mix well together.
i don’t think it ever has tbh.
i just did it because everyone else was doing it,
but it never had a real good high except maybe the first one after i lost Mum.
today,
they passed a law that had all my weed friend’s celebrating…

Continue reading “its gonna smell like pure weed in the streets of NY this summer” →

I am in the midst of a comeback foxhole.

i feel like i fell tf off within this last year.
physically,
i may have looked good and been taking care of myself,
but i’ve been battling struggles within.
i was feeling like shit earlier,
woke up all sad ‘n’ shit,
but something came over me and i said…

Continue reading “the new story of “i destroyed it all and rebuilt everything in my vision”” →

this picture is really disturbing but this is everyone’s idea of what jail is like.
the jokes is being someone’s bitch whose name is “bubba“.
to some gays,
that is a legit fantasy.
a fine wolf with a prison bawdy giving you the business every night in ya’ll cell.
( x see here )
( x see another here )
one of the biggest fears for any male,
besides going to actual prison,
is getting raped in prison.
you’ll be out here like tom dubois from “the boondocks“:

again,
some males might be willing participants.
thanks to this guide a foxholer sent me,
it teaches us:

“How Not To Get Raped in Prison”

well…

Continue reading “how not to get raped in prison (a guide for those who don’t want the prison butt secks)” →

i’ve had 4 people hit me up this week alone:

“WHERE IS MY STIMULUS?”
“Did you get your stimulus?”
“I’m tite I didn’t my stimmy!!!”

…and then this text i got from divaa:

everyone is asking one question…

Continue reading “if i don’t get my stimmy, i’m bringing down armageddon on earth early” →