i’ve said it before but i hated my voice growing up.
along with hating my voice,
i hated my whole being as well.
i was always being picked on for something,
either at home or at school.
i highlighted and enhanced everything i thought was wrong with me.
i wasn’t like the other boys…

Uber-Masculine
Played sports
Playing “20 minutes of heaven inside her coochie”
Fathers being proud of them

i had a high voice,
had feminine mannerisms,
many would consider “soft”,
and my father was slowly evolving into the bitter betty pokemon.
i did love track and field and could run like black beauty.
in an “a-ha” moment today,
i realized something about all the things i “hated” about myself.
all of those things i thought were “wrong” with me…

Continue reading “i’m not my voice” →

happy father’s day???????
i’ve never really acknowledged father’s day growing up.
it wasn’t a holiday that most of my friends celebrated tbh.
i was also a jehovah’s witness and you know they celebrate nothing.
i’ve celebrated mother’s day more since my mother took on both roles.
she was never a jw and celebrated all holidays.
i think she did it to spite my grandmother lowkey.
after my father and i (kinda) reconnected a couple years ago,
i thought things would be different but…

Continue reading “happy (kinda not interested) father’s day?” →

on my last patreon,
i mentioned tips on how to bag blue checks and big deals on socials.
big deals meaning those we want to see how big their “deal” is.
everyone always asks me about the nfl baller wolf i bagged.
 let’s font about him,
the night we met,
and a recent update…

Continue reading “let’s have a conversation about that nfl baller i bagged” →

The Situation

she was super pro-black/latina/fat/gay/trans/pronouns/everything.
she would use “-phobic” if someone didn’t agree with her.
you know folks love when someone is accused of having a “phobia”.
her stans flocked to her twicth streams because of her outspoken views.
i fell for it tbh.
woke folks tend to do that since they carry an air of “change the world”.
she was very unassuming and appeared to be friendly.
her friendships with other bigger streamers helped her too.
that was last year when things were all good.
i thought about her randomly because i haven’t seen her on twitch.
when i went to rummage around her socials,
she was gone.

TF happened?

well…

Continue reading “pro – bring a bitch down who is a demon behind the scenes” →

karaoke just got one.
the pretty vixen is in one.
fancy just had an interview about one.
everyone is scoring work-from-home jobs but me.
indeed is full of scams so beware.

I’ve had randoms that are clearly in Mumbai telling me about working for the FDNY.

karaoke put me on to a wfh company called liveops.
they specialize in customer service wfh gigs for companies.
she knows after my last situation,
i don’t want to deal with the “in-office” corporate sector again.
she knows i’m heavy on the career grind so i need more than a typical 9 to5.
i filled out their application and when i saw i got a response back quick,
i was like i’m innnnnnnn baby.
not so fast jamari…

Continue reading “so i won’t be wfh for this company” →

you were always the one.
even after all these decades apart,
and many wolves later,
you still cross my mind.
even though we are miles apart,
i’d look to see what you were up to on occasion.
thats the gift and curse of social media.

You look good than when I last saw you.
Better,
maybe?

i’ll never forget when we first met…

Continue reading “a entry to you.” →