is there really a “right or wrong” in life?
that would be my first question before i get into this entry.
when we were all kids,
our parents taught us what was right and what was wrong.
as we grew up,
we learned some of those things were right and others where their paranoia.
so what we did?
do all the “wrong” to see if they were actually right for us.
i know i have.
when it comes to dating,
and who we choose to date,
in what situations do we follow the same rules?
well i guess i’m may see myself…
so last week,
i hit up “mr. big wolf”,
who was also star fox’s ex.
star fox’s death date is coming up and i wanted to catch up with him.
something was telling me to send him a text so i did.
i hadn’t heard from him since last year,
but i wanted to see how he was and how he was coping.
he has actually been doing better than when we last spoke.
i also told him how i was doing and my new job.
he was extremely ecstatic with me.
we would hit each other up just to say “wassup” after that.
so last night i sent him a random text about something i was watching.
nothing crazy.
he never responded so i figured he was out and about.
i ended up falling asleep watching the clippers vs the warriors.
i mean computer on,
tv,
and lights on.
when i woke up,
i looked at my computer and saw a ton of iMessages waiting to be read.
they were all from mr. big wolf at like 3am.
this is what i saw:
“lol i gotta check it out.
jamari i got to be all the way honest with you.
i really been feeling you since i first met you.
i know it maybe wrong to say that,
but would it be bad that i wanted to be with you?”
yes.
read it again.
as you know,
i secretly liked him as well.
he is definitely my type of wolf.
fine.
smart.
determined.
working.
goals.
he did have a “ratchet” side,
but it seems like he as changed from those days long ago.
the question is,
“is it right or is it wrong to entertain dating the ex of star fox?”
i guess morals come into play,
but when i asked karaoke this morning she said:
“well realistically jamari,
star fox is gone.
its not like he broke up with him and you jumped in the sack three weeks later.
in reality,
there are people who marry the exes of people who died.
sisters.
brothers.
cousins.
best friends.
the issue is if you both got together,
would you be living in past,
comparing each other to star fox,
or will you both go into it with new eyes?
you have to move on and he does as well.
stop thinking you’ll be this bad person.
everyone’s version of a bad person is different.”
she makes sense.
i replied to him lets take it slow and see where it goes.
You know this dude better than anyone on this blog. If you think something good can come out of this situation then go for it. As with anything or anyone else be careful and like you said take it slow. Watch out for the red flags. His relationship with Star Fox was his relationship with Star Fox. Judge him on how he treats YOU! Good Luck!
Smh, I don’t feel strongly one way or another about the topic, but you guys act like he’s pursuing someone’s husband and trying to play stepdaddy to his late friend’s kids.
It’s not like he’s being ratchet about it if he decides to pursue it.
You guys are talking like Jamari’s the desperate type which he’s never been to me.
If I were you, I would not pursue this. You must remain a loyal friend to Star Fox. If Star Fox was still here, and they were no longer together, do you believe Star Fox would appreciate this from you? Or just imagine if the roles were reversed, would you appreciate your best friend, Star Fox, dating your ex?
Jamari, I would have to agree with the man on this one. I know that you are in that place of wanting to get some but I’m not so sure if he is the right one to give it to you. I look at the fact that he text you at 3AM which is not a good sign. That’s the I want some ass time to text. Like man said, when we want more than just some ass you will know. You will not have divine the tea leaves to find out if we want some ass or we want the whole of you. Hell, he even said that while he was with your friend he was attracted to you. I mean just because you’re with someone doesn’t mean that you lose attraction to others but he said he was feeling you. If he couldn’t be honest about all that then, why now? Would you want to risk him feeling someone else while being with you?
You just started your new job, things are on the mend. I just want to encourage you to think of the time it took for you to get to this place. Don’t let this guy complicate things. As the funds increase, get out there and explore some of your interest. Do something fun and unconventional and you will see that you can meet someone of a different caliber. Your guy is not going to fall out of the sky, nor is he on dating/social media sites. You’ll know when the time is right for you to put your scent out there. Trust me, there are wolves who want to find the right fox too.
Spoken like a true wolf. As I have said before, Foxes are similar to women when it comes to dealings with men. They put men on a pedestal, and invest so much time and effort only to have their hearts broken, and quite often the red flags are already there before the relationship even began. In most cases the man is fine, they get all weak in the knees, and you can’t allow that to happen. You are already showing them how vulnerable you are and you have only known him for a minutes. Us Wolves do not have these issues with men. I can have a Fox all flustered and shit in a heartbeat, but I am faithful and I will not dog him out, so he will not be making a fool out of himself.
@The Man: Damn, cut the the dude some slack! We know he did dirt but you can’t hold it against him forever. People can change, especially if something traumatic elicits the change.
You’d probably lynch me and hang me from a tree like the Klan if you got a piece of dirt on me. Lol
I don’t think it’s my place to say whether he should entertain this or not. I only provide the potential setbacks.
I figured this would happen. Lol
I mean your friend has transcended all this worldly bullshit anyway, so with the peace he’s surrounded by I doubt he cares.
The only setback is you miss out on him revealing himself to you. You already know the good, the bad, and the ugly from Star Fox.
Like you said his attraction to you can all be some misguided attempt to hold on to his past. If he can’t make it right with his ex that he’s fucked over he may want the person that was closest to his ex and I’m sure very similar o him in some ways. I’m not saying he’s doing it intentionally but listen to your instincts.
Either way, I don’t think it’s worth getting all up in arms about because I feel like the outcome, and his motives (conscious or subconscious) are going to be revealed fairly quickly.
Damn, what a dilemma. Are you sure that his feelings for you might be the fact that you help him cope with Star Fox’s passing? Maybe he’s misinterpreting his feelings for you. He wants you because he wants Star Fox back.
That might not be true tho. I’m just trying to offer something different because I came late to the discussion and everybody else already offered both sides of why you should or shouldn’t.
Maybe you should tell Mr.Big Wolf exactly what you’re feeling, that while there is an attraction there you’ll feel guilty for betraying star fox. Perhaps he feel guilty for even confessing these feelings to you. I understand where “The Man” above is saying but no one is perfect. Talk to this guy and just lay all of your thoughts good and bad on the table I feel it will help you come to a decision.
I applaud Jamari for being honest with his feelings continuously. It takes real guts to stand infront of the firing squad with something like THIS. Some of these trifling ass gays would have fucked the EX and blogged about it after. Personally this is a desicion only Jamari can answer. What people would do or wouldn’t do may or may not work for him.
Friend’s exes are off limits. Guilt and constant comparison will kill the relationship AND there is no mystery.
You can remember all the details your friend shared about this person, namely the bad and the ugly–was any of that attractive?
All that good wood circulating in NYC and a friend’s ex is the best thing to come around?
Really?
Lust in your heart, but eventually let it go.
Some things work better in films or in religious cults not necessarily in your life.
I knew you would come through. I totally agree with you.
I think you should take a chance.
I believe in my heart star fox want you and him to be together because not so long ago you mention star fox ex boyfriend and that you found him attractive, and maybe star fox spirit is trying to be you and him together.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just taking it slow, you never know where your blessings are gonna come from
^it seems the foxes are for it.
the wolves are against.
very interesting.
my thought inside,
and the thought ive always had,
I feel id betray star fox.
even in death,
but what if im suppose to he with mr. Big wolf?
what if star fox is leading us to each other?
Have you lost you mind? Him and Star Fox had issues so why would that be your fate. This man caught an STD from cheating on your friend and he dogged him out. What part are you missing? Star Fox did not pass away for you to be with him. No. This is not a scenario from a lifetime movie. He was not some fantastic guy who is every woman’s dream who happen to lose a loved one, and turns to the best friend for comfort. He was not a good guy from what you stated. He is not the only one who is vulnerable right now. This is not who you were when I first started reading this blog. I think you want to be in a relationship so bad that you are being naive and letting down your guard and your standards. I have detected that from you the past couple of months, especially with the two Spanish and Dominican Wolves on your job you have talked about. I know what else it is too…you need some dick lol. I have sensed it for a while, and I know it has been a minute since you have been laid, but don’t lose your common sense man.
Where are Vain, Tajan, Jay, Random, and Old Head? I need some help from the ol reliables, and lots of it. Jamari is going off the deep end.
I have a good question for you man. If star fox was still alive would you date him or even consider it? That is my whole perceptive on it. I ain’t lie, when you talk about the possibility of getting with your deceased friend’s ex, I get in a fit. I think it is inappropriate, and I can’t support that bruh. I’m sorry. I’ve even read ALL your Mr. Big Wolf entries, and didn’t this same guy cheat on Star Fox when he went to ATL with his boys and came back with an STD. See on the last entry you wrote about this guy, everyone was so quick to tell you to go ahead and give this guy a chance, but yet they are now confused as to what I am talking about. Read the old entries before you comment guys.
I’m a good Wolf, but a majority(not all) of my fellow wolves are not. We know what actions to take to get in the cakes. Now y’all Foxes are good for doggin us out, but who gets played at the end? Not us. We can cheat on you all over and over, and most of you will take us back. However, as soon as y’all Foxes make a mistake and cheat, Wolves throw you to the curb and call you a hoe. Y’all know I am right. Wolves stay winning because you Foxes allow us. If he had a true interest in you Jamari, he would have hit up up by now, but instead you had to hit him up first, which means you had to remind him that you even exist. When a Wolf has a true interest in a Fox outside of sex, he will continue to pursue him constantly. If I truly like a guy, I’m not going to stop pursuing him because my interest is genuine. A Wolf can get sex anywhere, that is why after you turn them down a couple of times they give up. That was why you haven’t heard from him since last year man. All he wants is sex, and you just reminded him of his mission. I thought you could see when the fur is being pulled over your eyes bro. This was not me being disrespectful, but I am giving you some much needed tough love, and I’m sure star fox would probably tell you something similar.
^see your perspective is also needed as well.
the same thing I thought.
he pursued me.
i never even hinted in conversation that I was interested.
in the back of my mind,
he maybe vulnerable or wanting a “star fox” clone.
could be a rebound.
i don’t know but I’ll keep this as friendship.
if something happens,
it happens,
but I won’t put him in my radar as a potential.
^ THIS 100% I AGREE WITH.
And Let me also add this… To me Loyalty should not end when a friend dies or even if you don’t talk to them anymore. Regardless if they were having on bad terms or broke up for whatever reason, not only sleeping with but considering having a relationship with my friend’s EX (not matter how far removed) is something that I just don’t agree with.
Jamari, you my boy and I visit this blog daily and sometimes 4-5 times in a day because I really do think you have a gift that a lot of people don’t have but when it comes to this, I just can’t agree.
At the end of the day tho, the decision is yours.
^thanks for your opinion lb.
ill def keep man and your opinion in the front row section of my mind.
interesting points today.
Not at all. I 100% agree with karaoke. She said everything I would have thought.
^i would actually be with him,
but i didn’t want to look like a rabid jackal.
lol