accountability | september 20th

life isn’t kind to the broken-hearted.
it awards the savages and the grifters.
the ones that are depressed are “doing too much”.
hi,
i’m “doing too much”.
as of late,
i’ve been wanting to listen to break-up albums.
emo shit.
something in my spirit has been telling me i need to break up with something…

I need to break up with myself.

not even cappin.
now i’m not about to stop living like “this is the end”.
this is actually the beginning tbh.
new beginnings.
i’m gonna treat myself like an abusive ex.
i’ve been my biggest abuser tbh.
i’ve made myself feel like i’m worthless and not as good as everyone else.
i felt nervous to stand up for myself.
worst of all:

I held on too long to jackals that I needed to throw up peace signs.

i’ve attracted other abusive jackals,
including wolves,
because i didn’t see or believe my own worth.
don’t even get me started on how i was treating my inner child.

i def gotta start healing ^this little fox so i can show up for my older self.

WE CANNOT KILL OFF THOSE BAD SIDES OF US SINCE THEY’RE LEARNED BEHAVIOR.

…but work with them in order to see real change.
we have to accept them all in order to fully accept ourselves.
i’m breaking up with me so i can start fresh.
so i’m listening to all the breakup shit that will stir up all the feelings.
it has been helping me think and process tbh.

this is the part where things inside me start to get interesting.

lowkey: some of these folks should never have let me see a therapist.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

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