one of my really good friends had a huge career come-up over the weekend.
i’m beyond proud of her but here’s the kicker:

People who did her wrong or ignored her are suddenly flooding her DMs.
Heavy.

it’s left her feeling overwhelmed and we don’t often realize this about fame:

When all eyes are on you,
it can feel like you’re completely exposed,
naked in the spotlight.

i was talking to a straight wolf and i asked:

“Lemme ask you something.
Let’s say you after you finally made it,
would you sleep with those who did you wrong or ignored you for revenge?”

his answer?…

“Why would I reward a bitch ME for her fucked up behavior?”

ouch.
he further elaborated:

“Why would I give someone good dick after they treated me like dirt?
They lost out!
They should have known better.
God forbid I fuck this hoe and she traps me.”

it made me feel like a real idiot tbh.
in movies,
we see plots of revenge and hate sex after making it big.
they get their revenge,
drop the person,
but that person can still say they had you.
i’ve seen stories of gays sleeping with past bullies.
they see us looking great and want to be honest that they had feelings for us back then.
sure,
we top and pound them into the mattress but…

Why give ourselves to someone who couldn’t see our worth before?

so now that we’ve made it,
these jackals suddenly want to hang out,
date,
or sleep with me?
where was this energy when i was a nobody?
where is our pride?
we aren’t teaching them a lesson by giving them the time of day.
we are showing them we are still the same insecure person from back then.
we are showing them that we are “nice guys/gals” who will continue to finish last.

i quickly realized my thinking was deeply flawed.
the best revenge is moving forward,
leaving behind those who failed to see your value.
it made me question the very nature of revenge and recognition.
we chase validation due to our trauma and abuse,
and we finally wanting to show those who hurt us our value,
but maybe…

The real power lies in leaving those who overlooked us in the dust.

The door is open to MUCH better options than some asshole(s) from the past who chose wrong and want to be on the winning team.

i guess i learned this weekend that i have a little more work that i have to do.