once upon a time,
there was a fox who (had) (wanted) love for (from) everyone.
he didn’t have a big family and secretly yearned for a sense of belonging.
as he was treated like an outcast within his own family,
all while growing up in a strict household.
it turned him into a very nurturing creature.
he vowed to never treat others the way he was treated.
he is (was) what he thought was a “good friend”,
but he had to ask himself…

Was it really all worth it?

over the years,
he has been stabbed in the back by his own “friends”.
the folks he thought he could trust betrayed him for others.
there is this constant theme of:

“I MET SOMEONE WHO I THINK IS BETTER THAN JAMARI.
SO IMA DROP HIM FOR THIS OTHER PERSON.
I KNOW THAT WHEN IT DOESN’T WORK OUT,
HE WILL BE ANGRY BUT HE’LL TAKE ME BACK.”

or

“I’M DIFFERENT!
I’M NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE…
BUT I REALLY-FUCKIN-AM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.”

now that i fell,
and got hurt in ways i didn’t expect,
i look around i see my own breath.
the ones i thought would reach out have scattered.
one even called me randomly to say in a vm:

“I value our friendship,
and i love you,
and blah blah blah…”

…but when i text back about my accident,
it goes UN-answered for a few days.
i get a response yesterrday about going to a party over the weekend.
i can barely fuckin sleep at night due to being in pain…
and you tellin me about a party?
mind you,
i was there for them when their other friends betrayed them.
if it was others in this same situation,
i’d check in every day.
for me…

NOPE!

everyone has caught me at a good time tho.
see this was the year of humble pie,
and at the end of my 2017,
i got my own slice.
it actually went down smoother than i thought.
the ingredients were:

1) life can come at you fast
2) you see who your real friends are in crisis
3) bitches gots ta learn

while i recover from this fall,
ima learn how to cook me up a better pie tho.
you know,
for when i’m on my paws again.
it’s gonna taste quite delicious.
i’m a fox so ima wait til the right time to serve it.
my paw will be on necks as i’m feeding it those who need it.

i want them to remember how it tasted.
i have a hunch they’ll NEVER forget.