i woke up today,
off some random shit,
and the first thought in my mind was:

“i was actually begging someone to be my friend.
to stay in my life.
what the fuck was i thinking?”

like,
it just hit me.
i think that was the point of closure.
i have finally received my closure and it feels good.
lately,
i’ve been looking at the world through new eyes.
the forests have changed and my inner werewolf has been reborn…

i don’t fall for compliments like i use too.
for instance,
i was everything at my last job.
there were so many compliments flying in my direction.

“jamari,
you are a great worker and the best we ever had.
there were no complaints about you,
but…”

…and then proceeded to eradicate my butt from my position(s).
a position that i worked so hard in.
“being the best” has always been my thing,
but now,
i see it’s not really worth it.
i get these compliments and i’m still treated like “a problem”.

I don’t hard for compliments as before

they are nice to hear,
but they’re useless to do anything with.
they will compliment you on monday and crucify you on friday.
your boss may love you,
but their boss may hate you.
you’re never fully protected.
it’s the real life equivalent to getting likes on social media.
so i’m a good worker…

Hire me

i’m a good blogger…

Sponsor me

i’m sexy af…

Date/fuck me

foxhole,
folks need to show and prove to you.
your value should not be coming from compliments.
take it from me,
i’ve been complimented one minute and then thrown under the bus the next.
hell,
i’ve seen it with a few on the foxhole.
those who are loyal and see your value to you will:

hit you up consistently
take time to make sure you good
lead you to where you need to be
never leave your side

…anything less than that goes in the “not interested” pile.

nowadays,
i show up and do my best,
but always keep in my mind that i’m irreplaceable.
it’s freeing.
so always do your best than the rest,
but don’t hold “people pleasing” as the motivation.
some don’t share the same loyalty as you do.