Sometimes I wonder what road to choose…
That was the thought going through my head last night.
I was in the studio, sitting on the couch, and watching an artist record.
I like what I am doing now because it is 100% with my career moves.
But… my money is so damn funny.
I know you all have been in this… tight spot.
You are put in a put in a position where you have to choose what may supply you with pleasure.
You can take one road that looks like it is going in a right direction.
It is what EVERYONE thinks you should do.
Then, you see the other road.
It is harder and has more bumps, but you know the outcome would probably be better.
So what do you do?
What do you choose?
When it comes to life:
Are you on the right path?
As you know, they fired my Foxy ass a week ago.
My weekly unemployed anniversary.
I had no time to be super depressed because I have been working on my career.
I have been doing foot work, going to studios, and basically at almost every event.
I have been handing out cards and making myself known behind the scenes.
But, my money isn’t as popping at it was.
I am not making any money doing this… right now.
If my parents were alive, they would NOT have approved of this.
They would have been pressuring me to go back to school or even go get another job.
But, that is not my PASSION.
Working in the entertainment industry and writing are what make me happy.
I am at the point that I do not feel like even going back to another job where I am working under another human.
I am a little bitter and I know no problem admitting that out loud.
There are two roads with two totally different paths.
I was on the easy path where I was working hard and my money was right.
Now, I am able to survive, but I cannot go buy anything of luxury (or even eat) without really doing a heavy budget.
I started to think about these un-expected turns life takes us on.
I also started to think about the path of life.
We are not mind readers so we do not know how things will end up.
I know so many people who went to college and absolutely regret it.
I also know a lot of people who didn’t and are financially set for the rest of their lives.
It is all a big game of chance and luck, huh?
Well Ima need a cheat sheet!
When it comes to where we are trying to go in life…
I came across this poem from an unknown writer and you popped into my mind immediately sir !
I dreamt about You again, well I wasn’t exactly asleep yet, but I know You get that. So now I can’t go to sleep without writing to You. I want to reach out and feel You next to me, to know You are safe and secure. I would then know all is right in our world. Gosh, I wish I knew your name at least.
People pass by me throughout the day and I glance in their eyes. One day I will see yours staring back and know immediately it is You, finally. I have no doubt You will realize this too. There will be that instant moment of awkward recognition as we briefly wonder, “Does he know it is me as much as I know it is him?” I am familiar with that experience for it has happened to me before.
I know You are out there because I can feel You, or rather I can feel my heart reaching, yearning, so You must be near. I hope that is how it works. If You are at a great distance this wouldn’t make sense. It has to make sense because I am already in-love with You. Where are You?
I don’t know who You are, or where You are, just that You are a part of my life. I think about You periodically throughout the day… brief moments here and there for no reason at all. Sometimes I smile because it is such a great feeling to know You are out there, somewhere. Still, I feel the emptiness from within, in that space reserved for You, and I miss You.
Where do I need to be? What should I be doing so we find one another? I will do what it takes for I am already committed to Us. That is what my life is about. You are my future so to do otherwise would be nonsense.
I try each day to continue to grow as a man – to be the best Me I can be. I want to be deserving of You. Perhaps that is the problem – am I not ready for Us yet?
I will continue to wait, impatiently, for I do not want to be in a relationship with any other when You do come along.
^thanks guys.
very inspiring words.
That’s just life, our hand is dealt before we come out our mother’s wound. We all have our ups and downs. When adversity strikes you have to deal with it and go along with the flow. You being fired just might be a blessing in disguise. Don’t worry about it Jamari, god has a plan for you and he will lead you in the right direction. Just stay patient and positive.
Well I can relate to you because I faced a similar situation with the direction of my blog. I decided to turn away from the mainstream shit and just do what feels natural to me.
I feel that at the end of the day, you have to do what feels natural. Sometimes in life you have to take risk and leave the rest in the good Lord’s hands. I know that sounds cliche but it’s true.
Of course, you can’t be no fool either because those bills aren’t going to stop coming in so figure out a way to make money in the meantime.
You will find your answer, just be quiet and pay attention.