a day after the tragic shootings in orlando and i was a paranoid summabitch.
when i got to work this morning,
i thought about if some gun toting psycho was to bust through the door.

what would i do?
where would i go?
how would i handle it?

in my mind,
i would be an “x-man” and fly out the window.
or i would be the second best thing next to jason statham.
all those outcomes don’t equal what would happen in reality.
yes.
reality.
the place where shit really happens.
you know what kills me?…

“no the fuck he wouldn’t put his hands on me.
i’m not one to be fucked with.
i would poison him and then beat him over the head with a frying pan…”

^that kills me.
it’s sorta like “the talk” of how we would handle a dangerous situation.
we could yip yap about what we would do,
but the reality is,
shit could happen and change the outcome.
there are many who have gotten abused who talked like that.
someone can get in your head,
break you completely down,
and then find that opening to beat your ass when you at your lowest.

if they are bigger than you then forget it

it’s the same when we are in confronted with danger.
your common sense drops and your adrenaline rises.
instead of running out the door,
you run up the stairs or get trapped in a room with no exit.
some animals think better when tested.
you never know.

that jackal in orlando got in the club with security.
how?
he had an assault rifle.
no one backs down when an assault rifle is pointed towards you.
i’m sure the same club had strict security in place as well.
this is simply a new world with no rules.
quite frankly if it’s your time to go,
then it’s just your time.
you could have all the precautions in the world,
check for exits and escape plans,
and still get killed.
hell you could die in your home by slipping and falling in your tub.
it’s life and the risks of being alive.
no need to live in fear.
those animals in the club who died went out to have fun that night.
who knew that would be their final destinations.
so i say you simply live your best life every day,
keep God close in prayer,
and continue to do what you love to do.

movies
college
church
school
club
your home

no place is completely safe anymore.
it never really was.
so what can you do foxhole?
just try to live.

x here are the names of all the victims of the pulse shooting (rip)