you want the male, but you don’t want the sex that comes with it

the following is not a dirty word.
it’s not something to be shunned either.
you don’t have to hide.
its perfectly natural and i understand it.


some people,
including gay males,
have no desire to have sex with anyone.
i learned something interesting this week at work…

Being asexual can mean you have romantic feelings for someone,
but you have no desire to engage in anything sexual with them

one of my co workers is in an open relationship with his husband.
they have been together for many years.
they moved in with each other.
he told me that he went on a date with another male.
i figured he was cheating,
but he reassured me that his husband knew.

Shocked TF outta me

his husband is “asexual” and they have an agreement.
he’s allowed to sleep with others,
but he can’t date anyone else.

Shocked TF outta me

i always thought being “asexual” meant having no interest in sex,
if not anyone at all.

i love when my mind gets blown

there is nothing wrong with being asexual.
as gay males,
the life can be nothing but one big ass sexual conquest.
there are asexual males,
ones who are probably lurking within the foxhole,
who seriously aren’t about that life.
i use to think i was asexual too.
i questioned why i wasn’t out there fuckin’ a wolf a week.
folks make you feel like you’re “different” if you aren’t like them.
after my “hiv scare” a few years back,
it sat my ass completely down.
it made me really insecure.
i’m celibate and cautious about who i let into my foxhole now.
there’s a difference between the two i had to realize.
i will admit,
i’ve been getting horny af and open for some new dick.
i started to wonder tho…

How many folks we know that are actually asexual?

some of the attentionistos we fantasize could be not into sex at all.
mind blown.

lowkey: i bet there are even more layers to being asexual.
i have questions.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

10 thoughts on “you want the male, but you don’t want the sex that comes with it”

  1. There is a documentary about asexuals called asexual. It’s very interesting, many of the people in it were very lonely because they want companionship without sex which is hard to find.

  2. I’ve once hooked up with a couple similar to this.. They’ve been together 11 years & have an open relationship but they aren’t those “we only play together” couples. I think they’ve established businesses together through the years hence why they’re still together. However they said they don’t have sex together anymore. They each invite dudes from Grindr/Scruff to their homes and fuck the dudes separately in different rooms. So its almost like they’re roommates, they’re together but they don’t have sex together. It was refreshing for me though because I’m not into threesomes. I fucked one dude who had a huge ass in his room and then I got bored of him (he was a total bottom) and went to the other room to get fucked by his boyfriend separately. It was a win-win situation for me lol

  3. I feel sometimes I may want a relationship and a life with someone even as I dont see myself sexually attracted to them. But my “asexuality” is just in reference to THAT person. I may still feel sexually attracted to other people. I always wanted to explore that type of openness with someone but… idk.

  4. SEX Is Mental , Fluid & Natural . ITS WHAT THE INDIVIDUAL WISHES!! Period. If you want to be asexual , Bi ,Same Gender( I hate that word “Gay” and that word “Straight” )

  5. As an ex- asexual (progressive one since I’ve said many times in the past I was sliding in that zone) this something I grin at with people. Just because you are Asexual does not mean you don’t have sex. It simply means that sex does nothing for you and you don’t base your relationship off of it. It isn’t required but Asexuals do have sex if not to satisfy their mates. Asexuals masturbate too.

    I have always been pretty vocal about my views. You either like women, men, both or nothing at all.

    My views are still the same & I tell people that I will have sex but I am cautious & only attracted to intellectual freaks…(something they call sapiosexual.) But I like intimacy between one individual. Threesomes or more DOES NOT turn me on in the slightest.

    I gag these days now at people. One minute they don’t wanna be labeled but then are using a labels to “identify” themselves. It leaves me room to believe people are just full of sh*t.

    Now I’m really starting to think these things are mental conditions. If you weren’t meant to have sex you wouldn’t be born with sexual organs. Desire is natural and part of nature. You can control (suppress) it to bend your angle but have fun with that.

    We as a race are all kinds of f**ked up with our ideals. I recently got into it with some woman about mocking straight men because they don’t wear crop tops. I’m sick of this as well. These fembots and Gay decepticons always push their views on others by calling it Toxic masculinity but I flipped the script on her and called out her toxic feminity and all of a sudden… She’s the victim now…Figures. 🙄

    Anywho, if anyone here chooses not to have sex, then cool but what is the underlying reason for it cause saying you were born with no desire to have sex makes absolutely no sense at all. In fact it goes against the nature. Like wtf are you even here on Earth? To plant fruit and talk to animals? Sex isn’t everything but it is an enjoyable thing when you find the right person. It’s healthy activity that works out your body, mentally and physically. Pity society has someone twisted it Hell and back. Sigh.

    1. ^i love this.
      thank you for explaining.
      i’m really intrigued with this.

      anyone else with any knowledge to share,
      please post!

  6. I call BS on this. This sounds like nothing more than a convenient way to twist the definition to fit their lifestyle.

    1. I agree, Christian. Why not just be single? Oh… bills won’t pay themselves. It’s quite common to see gays in open relationships in major cities. The cost of living is too damn high and there’s always some new ass/dick/mouth to try out. I know a couple like this, one stays home and waits for the other while he thots and bops with the entire gay tri-state. The thotty one makes decent money, but he’s a druggie so he’d never be able to live on his own. The non-thotty one loves him more that he loves himself. The entire thing is downright sociopathic and codependent.

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