Let’s kick it into overdrive.
We will keep it.
Another EVERYONE…
You haven’t met a man for a while now.
Shit, you haven’t had a sex in a good year.
You are looking for something real and not some random fling.
You make a profile online and you finally meet someone.
You guys talk and have the best conversation.
He opens his picture and he looks like this:
OH HELL YES!
You guys meet and have a great time.
He is feeling you and you are feeling him.
Oh course, in a few weeks you both seal the deal and smash well into the night.
You wake up and he is still there.
He is perfect.
You could see him becoming your man the way everything is going.
So everything WAS all good until you find out that…
He has been in a relationship with her for 5 years.
He proposed to her a week ago.
Wow, just wow. Reading different opinions on the issue is interesting.
I’ve done some low down shit in my life and one thing I’ve learned is it always comes back on you, that being said, I have too much of a conscience to knowingly sleep with a married dude.
I mean it’s one thing to be in the closet with no attachments and no one to answer to, but a married man who is successfully cheating on his wife (with a man no less) is a skilled liar and manipulator in most cases and not worth it anyway. Then with technology being the main source of communication in these situations, all it takes is one intuitive, crafty, crazy black woman. You think hes going to ride with you if shit hits the fan? Probably not.
I must say this whole little post made me come to the realization that I have more to offer than that.
^love that last sentence JAY.
😉
There’s probably a really good chance that myself and BadBoyNMD lives minutes away from each other. I guess this mentality is what I have an issue with and is probably why i can’t find anyone up here lol. Its sounds so crazy to me to me for someone to comfortable with the idea of having to get the CRUMBS of a man’s attention. To be comfortable with being SECOND BEST because “something” is better than nothing. You are not his MAIN SQUEEZE in any sense of the phrase if he keeps you a SECRET. You are a side piece meant to scratch an occasional itch. If given the choice between you and whoever “she” is… he will choose her EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
hard to say what i would really do. if he was a good guy and trying to live a straight life to cover up his attraction to men and only wanted to date me, not other dudes, i think i would understand that. but then again im not sure if i would get jealous of the vixen if she would have all his time, especially if she got pregnant… hmmm idk..
Jamari…she’s hot as fuck tho..lol..sheeeeeesh..good pick!!
I’d be pisssssssedddddddddd off and wonder wtf he’s doing this to both she and I?! I’d wonder wtf is his issue with committing because obviously, he’s fucking up somewhere and has a phobia against it..(and i’d wonder if she gets down with chicks..even tho I don’t shit I’d damn sure think about it)..but in all honesty, I’d damn sure pull every fucking card his ass has!!
^^^^ See, I think that since me and BadBoyNMD are in the same area we have a different understanding to the whole thing. All I’m saying is that a baller wolf/wolves, especially the ones that I deal with are confused. They understand that they like dudes, but also want that wife and maybe some children. I just knowing full well from experience that I can not change that except but to be supportive of thier decision and not try to menipulate him into what I want him to do. This approach Jay has allowed me to have a portion of the very thing you want and that is a baller wolf who loves you, not the situation isnt perfect but I think its good to have more than one way to reach a goal/objective.
^this I agree with.
I tend to just read the comments, but this one caught my attention, and I notice how everyone say they will get up and leave, but I guess being from the DC area, this will be a perfectly fine situation. Ok he lied at first, soo what. you just deal with it. If you can let him live his double life and you can still make him happy, he will make time for you.
I’d try to exact fame from it all. Ol’ girl is from the Game. Unfortunately the dude is dirty. If he’s cheatin with me on this girl, then who’s to say he won’t cheat on me with someone else? Unfortunately this goes on a lot especially with goodlookin dudes such as this.
I thought that was her.
Run from this nigga, he is going to leave you alone for a little while, but he will come back once he is married and he has convinced the public he is a certified str8 man. Married dudes are probably the best dudes to be with if you can tolerate the holidays by yourself, and want to have your own life, because you will be spending alot of time by yourself. Be careful though because they are so damn possessive and want you only to themselves, and will be hard to get rid of when you do get ready to move on to someone else. Just dont be messy and play like you are a co-worker or some other person and meet the wife, some dudes want you up in the mix like that. Also know that they are gonna love you like you never been loved but they can never give you what you really want, if you can live with all of that more power to you.
P.S. Im not speaking from experience just some things Ive heard(yeah right)!!!!!
Search for my draws and bounce. He cheated on her with me which is one of my no nos. so I would do the right thing and leave
Wait. So you’ll gladly be involved with a man who’s already committed to a woman?
^but isn’t it better he be truthful than lie?
Damn I guess I stand alone in the fact that I could care less about him marrying her. To me, i prefer a dude who dates and has a girl but comes to me constantly because they can shake the effect I have. I mean its fucked up and rightfully so he is wrong. My approach to the whole thing is cool dude you’re about to get married, Congratulations. Then i’ll let him know that I’m not going block him or spazz out I’m happy for him. Its actually happened before so I would and did remain calm. Some see it as me being the side piece but in actuality I’m his main squeeze and I just allow him to live his precieved striaght life.
I mean speaking honestly I works and there are so many dudese especially in the east coast who deal with this so I make it easy. Be happy and have the best of both worlds I wont stop you. As fucked up as it is, I wouldnt complicate the situation by trying to make him feel bad or make him mine. I respect his decision and let him know to be careful.
^uh oh Nerd….
That all has the potential to be messy, with a double helping of dramatics!! What u gonna do on Christmas, Valentines, and other holidays when he with his old lady? To many feelings and emotions, that would go downhill on a toboggan!
No Nerd, you got it all wrong bruh. You will learn sooner or later
^but here is what I’m confused about…
A lot of Foxes think that if he cheats with a another Fox than a Vixen,
It is not really “competition”.
Maybe because in the Foxes eyes,
She isn’t really a threat.
He likes men so she is just a stand in.
Do you agree?
He is fine as hell but I’d have to cut him off completely. If he lied about something important like that in the beginning then he’ll continue to keep big secrets from me in the future. I know a red flag when i see one.
(And even though I’m not a big fan of Mary Janes i do love her shoes.)
My first thought was, she look like my sister! But I would just go ask straight up what are we calling what we have? And what’s going on with ole girl. Cuz if you bout to get married before my emotions get any further involved lets cut this off.. And that’s it and that’s all!
If youre not my boyfriend and mines alone you not smashing anything but a soda can. So this situation was not going down. Next!
DONE! I’m good.
I’d sincerely wish him the best. Hell, he may be better off anyway.
I would end it with him, he’s sexy, but I aint gonna be played for a fool.
Well, how did I find out?
Was I snooping?
Did someone else tell me?
Did I already confront him?
And more than that, has he ever given me the impression that we were exclusive?
Or even that he wanted a relationship with me?
The fact he stayed overnight doesn’t mean anything. Maybe he just didn’t want to have to explain to her why he was going in at 3 in the morning smelling like man sex. If that’s the case, that’s my fault. I should have done my research before I gave it up.
I’m the type to approach a situation like that head on.
I need to know who she is, why is he getting married to her, why he is dealing with me, and where do we go from there.
Who says those five years were five straight years? Who says they were even five happy years?
For all I know, he proposed to her because she asked him to and it’s not really the situation he wants to be in.