when he has to use the belt to remind you who is in charge

the following entry is a trigger warning.
so we gotta learn when to walk away when we see the first red flag.
those signs,
in the beginning,
are not to be ignored because they often set the foundation.
i saw a video from twitter that i had to share with the foxhole rather than a retweet.
it was a jackal using a belt to get a vixen in line…

wow.
that reminded me of my grandmother in barbados.
i think many of us know “the belt” all too well.

the fact that she didn’t scream out is telling.
it tells me she is used to this kind of treatment.
i’ve seen gay males who are abused get it ten times as worse.
relationships can be so hard to come by that some gay males settle for anything.
what abuse victims in these relationships don’t tell you is:

The make-up sex is just as violent too.
The abuser does it to prove a point.
It’s rougher and harder.
The choking and the ass slapping.
It’s aggressive and primal.
That dopamine hits even harder and the addiction seeds deeper.

i don’t like seeing people getting abused and looking helpless like that.
oftentimes,
i wonder…

Can we fall into a physically abusive relationship on accident?

you know the types who claim they’ll never let someone hit them,
but somehow they end up being in one.
this video has me thinking about all kinds of shit now.

lowkey: this is why i urge anyone who has low self-esteem to seek therapy.
do not jump into a relationship because we often jump into the wrong ones.

12 thoughts on “when he has to use the belt to remind you who is in charge

  1. Jamari, my sister dated this guy who was abusive. He pistol whipped her, when I tell you my older brothers were going to”monkey stomp” his ass. My mother said don’t get involved, cause she’s going to be right back with him, and she was right, they were together the next day. I don’t know why women allow this type of behavior. That boy wants to be tough, he’s not, carrying weapons and beating on women don’t make you tough. Hopefully she can get out of that situation. Fight back, catch him off guard. Grits anyone??

  2. It’s NOT just physical abuse either. Mental abuse can be just as damaging. My first boyfriend started mentally abusing me by saying hurtful things in a joking manner. It took me a bit to process it after the first time he said something & then the 2nd time I shut it down w/a quickness. I told him I was not going to put up with that treatment since I knew there was truth in what he was saying although it was said jokingly. Little did I know he was cheating on me left & right w/men AND women. Actually, I did know subconsciously because of his ‘disappearing’ for whole nights & not responding back to my phone calls & his lies that he got drunk at a co-worker’s house & he passed out. So yea the red flags of abuse/neglect were there I was just too in love w/him to be real with myself & didn’t have enough respect to end it long before it was supposed to end.

  3. Bye Jamari, I will face my demons tomorrow. I didn’t give you permission to go through the photo album of my life! Whew!

  4. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the 1st, 2nd, or 19th time he’s done this to her. I have no sympathy for no broad who’s in a continuous cycle of abuse and goes back to him time after time. The pc woke mob will say it’s hard to leave when in fact it isn’t and there are plenty of resources.

    I remember as a child my aunt had a husband and one day he disappeared, never saw him again and my family acted as if he never existed. When I got older I asked my aunt what happened to the guy who used to bring us KFC all the time. Long story short my aunt explained he was a gentleman while they were dating, but when they got married he became very abusive. He hit her the first time, he apologized and she took him back, the second time he did it she called my grandad and uncles to beat the brakes off of him and the next day she filed for divorce and never spoke to him again. So ladies there is a way out!!

    1. It’s true there is a way out….but it can sometimes come at a cost. Many guys don’t have the mental capacity to accept that a woman/man no longer wants to be with them…and they end up taking drastic measures, either hurting or killing that person. Those are the ones that you have to watch out for. They are crafty and stealthy and can catch the person off guard when they least expect it.

  5. People will only get away with WHAT YOU LET THEM!!!

    There are always warning signs!! I will check ya azz, or cancel yo azz !!! or both!!!

    You never get a 2nd time with me.

    I cant feel sorry for these people who will allow another person to continuously abuse them (Verbal or Physical). They are accepting it! [ They do not deserve it though ]

    Some of us take it some of us don’t . Its just a difference in people.

    The Abuser is evil and wrong still in every instance and case!!

  6. Yea…umm…I got nuthin. Her bad. If she’s dumb enough to think ‘that’s just him showin that he luuuv me’, and is willing to take that from that city trendz based niga, there’s nothing my empathy or sympathy can do for her.

  7. So this nigga is abusive to women, can’t lie he’s sexy as hell with a nice ass & body, and a gun (fake gangsta)….. yea this nigga is down low and fighting his demons 🤷🏾‍♂️

  8. We not gonna bypass the damn gun on in his pocket. She had no choice but to be quiet. A way out is not possible at this point without potential death. Where is this Chicago?

    1. Also the first clip under this video looked like okay fighting with a smile on her face then it went left…these people crazy

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