i was telling a foxholer yesterday:

“I would NEVER want to be a celebrity.
I would NEVER want to be in the public eye.”

why?
because we don’t treat these people well…

…ESPECIALLY as a black person in the public eye.
If you’re gay then forget it.

how many of these people have been brought to drug use?
how many of these people chop and screw their body parts?
how many of these people are made fun of for aging?
how many of these people have taken their own lives?

we break people down and the wild part is:

As black artists and content creators,
we give and give only to be tossed away when we have no worth anymore.

people are so excited to see beyonce or rihanna fail.
halle bailey is the new little mermaid and racism is at peak levels.
tucker carslon will make more money but will don lemon?
black folks will be broken down,
but when white people do the same exact thing,
it’s the new “hot thing” in people magazine.

“Forget surgery!
Miley Cyrus has a secret for those booty goals.
What is it, Tom?
She eats oats!”

folks claim they want representation but treat those representing terribly.
i can understand if you’re problematic then you gotta be up outta here.
so i had to wonder:

What is the benefit of being black in the public eye nowadays?

…especially when you are black and gay?
i’ve been in abusive situations that broke me before.
i don’t want to relive that but in the public eye.
i love the community i have built but i’m on a different energy nowadays.
i appreciate being behind the scenes and not always having to be “on”.
i can do what i want,
fuck who i want,
date who i want,
write when i want,
and move how i want without all eyes on me.

There is no point in being in the public eye,
especially being black and gay.

it’s like an abusive relationship and you’ll never be a victim.
i’m good.

lowkey: once upon a time,
i wanted to be a star.
my personal trauma and corporate america reminded me it’s not worth it.