69 thoughts on “The Wolf Who Raised His Tail… and Liked It”

1. Oh wow Anthony you just gave me a plethora of flash backs lol, and now I need to take my meds and call my therapist lol.

2. @blkcastingman.I feel you. Let’s not get into the size queens. LOL.

3. Hey Anthony:

   Thanks for the compliment and I say like wise in relationship to your response, because I did also argue that sometimes foxes in general are more difficult to sexually please than women tend to be. I love it when you said “yes I have bottom in a committed relationship and although you didn’t like it, but you enjoyed satisfying your partner.” I have encountered online so many foxes who in their profile don’t want a brother who is under 9 inches, who have to blow their backs out 2-3 times a day, have to be able to screw for hours etc. I am not saying that wolves don’t make similar demands on their perspective sexual partners however they tend not to be extreme as wolves’. I agree also that we as men can get bored sexually and they may quickly move on to the next sexual encounter, and this is why I am arguing that most wolves are not going to stick around with a fox and negotiate sexual terms.

4. blkcastingman: Nice, insightful questions and responses. @Vain.you are also a very thoughtful, intelligent man. I would also like to know a lot of people’s response to the questions that blkcastingman stated.

   There is such a long laundry list of what Foxes want/need/like/don’t like/won’t do that it is best to keep it moving and not try to get too involved. I do feel like if you are looking to be in a lasting relationship that doesn’t truly rely on sex, more has to be brought to the table. The majority of men becomes bored with sex easily and is always looking for the next thrill. we are living in the day and age where it’s sex first, get to know later. So because people are trying to be “whatever” the other individual like to get some sex, no one takes the time to really get to know what each other truly likes. Case in point….communication is the key.

   I have ‘bottomed’ in the midst of a committed relationship because I was committed to satisfying my partner. Did I enjoy the act? Nope. But I did enjoy the fact that my partner was satisfied. Would I rather top? These days, it takes work. too many demands from foxes and quite frankly, it takes a lot more than sucking my dick to get me going. FOREPLAY is key. A lot of foxes have gotten lazy. LOL!!

   1. LAZY is the key word!!!! I thought it was just me Anthony. I hate when a fox pulls down his pants and bend over…WTF! No matter how phine you think you are, trust 9 times out of 10 you don’t have it like that. I haven’t met a man in years that just got me ready with a look. Like Anthony says, it takes a lot more than sucking my dick to get me going!!!

      1. ^what gets you going Terry?

5. Vain:

   Once again good responses and I think we are getting into the area of a circular argument and like I said before we like what we like. I learned a long time ago that generally it is futile when arguing against an individual’s belief system or personal values. Saying that again I beg to differ on your argument about attitudes and your definition of it when applied to this human behavior, and they strongly impact on a person’s disposition, choices, and behaviors, and their are a strong indicator what future behaviors behaviors will be. For example people who generally have a negative attitude towards public school education will generally place their children in private schools, and if a person generally have a negative attitude towards a particular social group then generally their behavior towards that group will be negative. Trust me when I say that I spent a significant time professionally studying attitudes and their impact on human behaviors, and I am not arguing that you seek out a relationship with an individual who you are not sexually compatible with, however again I know of several couples who their sex life sucks however they are still able to have strong and working relationships. I am speaking more so to what I interpret in this thread as a generalize negative attitude toward wolves that flip or towards hybirds by foxes. I was speaking also about what happens if you are in a long term relationship with a wolf who decides he wants to change sexual role with his long term partner and the potentially relationship ending affect that it may produce again based on the responses from some of the foxes’ postings.

   Trust me this is not the first time I had arguments on this topic with other foxes, wolves, and hybirds. I think also that although you did preference your last statement ” this is my from experience” ( a rough paraphrase), I think however that you cannot speak for the hybirds on this matter no more than I can speak for foxes. This is why I would like to hear more from the hybirds of this group. Finally going back to my original argument about the spectrum of human sexuality, again I think that if a person is emotionally and sexually mature; meaning that a person is self actualized and seeking new ways to change the sexual quality of their lives then their their sexual experiences, and sexual preferences may change as well. Things that I was into sexually 10 years ago; today I am not remotely interested in doing today, and that is because I have changed, I grew, and I evolved as a person and as a sexual being. I think that as an individual mature they will learn new things about themselves, about other people, about relationships, and about life in general. Most psychologist generally define learning as the process that changes the behaviors of an organism.

6. blkcasting man :

   Wait a minute, those remarks were towards the issue of a hybrids who are asking one to flip for them. Not hybrids in general. Because yes, there are those who require that type of sexual activity in order to be satisfied. Am i saying hybrids are prone to unhealthy relationships specifically? No, not them SPECIFICALLY but generally PEOPLE who not satisfied in their relationships, yes, often times they well find another partner. Every time? No. A lot of the time? Yes, based on the access to populations who are willing to sleep with you with no strings attached and the amount of infidelity that goes on in today’s relationships.

   And if you’re trying to get all technical about it, Attitude is a person’s inner thoughts and feelings, while behavior is usually an outward expression of attitude, but the two are not always related. You can think one way and definitely act another. It isn’t enough to know what one thinks about something in order to determine how they will act. Attitudes incorporated with other things like spending patterns, previous relationship patterns, demographics, socio-economic status, and so forth can make these predictions stronger which is what those in your example used in order to profit off of millions.However, it isn’t enough to know someone’s attitude ALONE to predict their behavior because there are a host of other factors to take into account.

   When hybrids state “i require this type of behavior” an have gotten it in the past, why would i seek something long term with that person knowing i will not satisfy them in that way? That doesn’t make sense. Especially if its something important to them, which from my experience, it often is. How I view hybrids is consistent with what I’ve seen from and encountered with them. We typically are NOT sexually compatible. So why try to fit a square peg in a round hole?

7. Youg wolf it is very possible and this is the point no one will know unless they asked the wolf that question. “Hey how come you don’t like it when I touch your ass?” I think that the answer may be as simple as that. I recall my conversation with other wolves that I have topped is that I was told “man I don’t know what it is about you but I don’t usually like people touching with my ass much less f**king it”, and I am like oh what makes me so special? He responded “I would usually get I don’t know it is your vibe you are a very masculine brother and you let me know that you want my ass without treating me like a bitch.” Another wolf told me that he cannot every give up his ass to a fem ni**ger. So in the end I really don’t know the answer to that question lol 😉

8. Jar:

   No I am not saying that it is that big of a deal, because I think people like what they like. At the end of the day I really don’t care what two or three people do in their bed room lol. I was responding to some of the language used in this posting by some Foxes to express their disapproval of the request act. As a person who is a sexual being I want to satisfy my all of my sexual partners, and anyway that I can that fit into my sexual value system. However in applying the mind set that “it is a disgusting act for a wolf to want to flip is what I think I have issue with. I have issues with because in many of the post that I have responded to the discussions in general were about relationships between foxes and wolves the problems with them and how to make them better.

   What I am generally hearing is a good “wolf is hard to find,” and I am saying to myself well if there are all this conditions that they have to met in order to be considered a good wolf no wonder we appear to be so short in demand. I am not remotely implying in my posts that I have it all together sexually and emotionally, because I don’t, however I do my best to become the best person that I can be by looking at life spiritually, and by approaching life as a large class room that I am a student in. In visiting a lot of black gay dating and discussion mediums what I discover that is so shocking to me is the language that tends to be used against each group Wolves/Foxes/Hybirds, etc, and sometimes there seems to be so much self loathing in there that I wonder if anyone can truly be happy with the M4M thing. I have had some really good M4M relationships and I have had some bad ones. The ones that tend to work for me are the ones where we both have an open and mature approach to our relationships.

9. I think that some times wolves don’t allow foxes near their ass because they are afraid that the fox may think that they are really foxes or hybirds, or they don’t think that the fox is masculine enough to touch their ass.

   1. “or they don’t think that the fox is masculine enough to touch their ass.”

      I’ll say they might not know what to do with it 😉

      1. Edit:

         Youg wolf it is very possible that you are correct and this is my point no one will ever know unless they talk to their sexual partner and ask them questions. “Hey how come you don’t like it when I touch your ass, or why your dick don’t get on hard when I am topping you?” I think that getting the answers that one needs is as simple as that. Whenever I have a question about a particular group (women, Latinos, tops, bttms etc) I always go to that group and ask. I recall my some of my conversations with other wolves that I have topped and I was told “man I don’t know what it is about you but I don’t usually like people touching with my ass much less f**king it”, and I am like oh what makes me so special? He responded “I would usually get I don’t know it is your vibe you are a very masculine brother and you let me know that you want my ass without treating me like a bitch.” Another wolf told me that he cannot every give up his ass to a fem ni**ger. So in the end I really don’t know the answer to that question lol 😉

   2. I think you are right blkcastingman on the second point (they don’t think that the fox is masculine enough to touch their ass.), but I would say it depends on the fox, a masculine fox or a feminine fox. Speaking from personal experiences, im not hard wired to sleep with the less masculine fox. I think i commented earlier on this post and said I can count the number of times I have played fox and that’s only because of two reasons, maybe three. 1) I don’t like the act personally, everybody can’t top (I would say I had one lover that actually took his time and it wasn’t so bad)…it’s more than just sticking your dick in someone and slamming your balls against their ass…you have to make sure your partner is comfortable and enjoying it as much as you are…2) I only played fox for guys that I have been in a committed relationship with. I look at letting someone top me as something much deeper than just sex, it’s like im giving them a part of me when I let someone penetrate me, (just my opinion). 3) The way that I see it, if I wanted a female I would date a female, but I want a man that acts like a man and we all know that it is few of them out there.

      Honestly speaking, I could be a hybrid if I found the right wolf to share the bill with….Im comfortable as a man to know who I am that getting penetrated doesn’t make me less of a man. Until then, im a WOLF!!!!

10. Terry exactly this is what I am saying if you are in a committed relationship why are you going to throw out the baby with the bath water. The key is to work with your partner to come to a mutual sexual understanding so that the relationship can continue to grow. I think if one honestly could look at the numbers they especially as they grow older that there are going to be more foxes than wolves/hybirds who are going to be without a relationship. So if the availability of stable wolves is so small why would you get rid of your wolf sometimes hybird because his wanting the person who he loves to top him?

    1. ^ so what if the Fox genuinely does not want to sex his Wolf…
       Is that a big deal????
       I find that real interesting if a said Wolf wants his Fox to fuck him and he catches an attitude lo

       1. I would say think about all the times that you may have caught an attitude with a wolf for something and then have a discussion about it. Again I am talking about your long term significant or a long term sexual partner and not a one nighter hook up.

       2. It could be!!! I could see where a Wolf would catch an attitude especially if he is the Top in the relationship and you are getting satisfied all the time and maybe just maybe the urge of the Wolf overcomes him and he wants to lift his tail for a moment, you as the fox can’t man up and take one for the team????….Role play, make it interesting…now if the Wolf wants to lift his tail daily and you already came to an agreement on the sexual relationship then yes I can see the problem….The said to be Wolf is not holding up to his end of the deal, but every now and then…man up Jamari (lol)

11. You’re trying to place the sexual preference template onto a totally different population and on a completely separate subject.

    No Vain what I was attempting to do was to generalize what Kinsey was saying in his research that human sexuality tends to be more of a pendulum that swings in one direction for a period of time and in another way for a period of time. That human sexuality is organic because it moves, it grows, and it had the ability to evolve. This is why the sex industry is a Billion dollar business because it caters to a wide spectrum of human sexual tastes and desires that are always evolving and changing. I think that Kinsey did not believe that the human sexual experience was finite and that if sexual partners really were open and honest with each other they would experience an evolving sexual relationship.

12. Vain:

    I am glad that you are familiar with Kinsey’s research, and I am not arguing the perspective of or from the perspective the hybrid or verse brothers. At the core of my argument is the question is that if you are a bottom/Fox and you are making a statement like this “I may be alone on this but I prefer my wolves to be…. TOPS! Fuck that flip floppin shyt. Not interested. Don’t have the time. Hybrids need not apply because there’s a part of you that needs to be satisfied and this fox is not one to give it to you. I am looking at your Language and I asked myself is this really that deep, because what difference does it make if someone you meet who is satisfying your sexual and emotional needs ever been penetrated have to do with the quality and value of that person? I am speaking to what I consider to be harsh and scathing language use when describing tops who flip or hybirds. I have also discovered in my travels that many Foxes can be scathing and harsh in their reactions to other foxes. I am asking the questions well if in some of posts the general consensus is that “I am unlucky in love,” or why can’t I find this elusive soul mate and there is this huge list of “don’t” “I am not into” “thou “shall not”, or this “grosses me out because,” then I sometimes wonder if the answer as to why some foxes are unlucky in love is rooted in their sexual declarations, and sexual attitudes. What I am getting at is why do some foxes in general react to wolves who flip that somehow they are violating a fundamental law of nature.

    I really don’t think that a person’s sexual behavior in terms of what they like in bed is consistent over the course of their entire lives unless they are just prudes. I have spoken to a lot of Foxes who have shared with me that you know what I think I may have to consider becoming a hybird or a wolf in order to find that loving relationship. I have spoken to many wolves who have become foxes later in life and they would tell me “I just got tired of the pressure to perform all the time and I wanted to try something different. With most of the hybrids that I have spoken to they just say I want to find a good and loving partner, and they tend not to get hung up on roles. Black women tend to make the same issue about black men, oh he better be this, or he better have that or he better do this, and they find themselves alone at the end of the day. I am not saying it justifies black men leaving black women in masses for women of other races, however when I talk to most brothers about black women they always usually talk about how demanding they are and how uncompromising they can be. Generally the sisters who hold on to black men and have long stable relationships are usually the open minded and supportive sisters. They accept their men for how they are and the encourage them to change for the better.

    1. Yes, Blackcasting man, it is THAT deep. That one major part of myself, i will compromise on because it is not something i enjoy. There is a part of hybrids that require that type of behavior and if it isn’t they will most certainly seek it elsewhere. Thus leading to an unhealthy relationship and quite possibly infidelity. Plain and simple.

       It doesn’t necessarily “gross” my out but it is discouraging. Why do some foxes react that way? Possibly because they hold on to a certain ideal which is probably hetero-normative at its core that involves wolves acting one way and foxes acting another. Those who blur the line between the two upset that concept and are then seen as outcast or unappealing. I do not believe sexual attitudes are the root of the “woes me, i can’t find a man” attitude because hybrids, although open to a “good man” are having the same issues as well. The deeper issue has a lot more to do with commitment resistant men, men who do not understand how to be in a relationship, as well as what it is to have healthy dating habits. Sexual declarations and attitudes do not make someone a honest, open, and a good communicator.

       Human sexuality tends to fluctuate but not by very much or very often in my opinion. Again, where are the large amount of men who engage in serious, monogamous relationships with both men and women at equal or somewhat equal rates? Yes, there are people who WATCH tons of different types of pornography but do not ENGAGE in these sexual acts being displayed. That is the difference I’m trying to point out. Attitudes may inform behavior but do not predict it or lead to it. So when you see or talk to a hybrid, pay attention to their dating behavior and what their consistent patterns are in term of who they actually ENGAGE with as opposed to listening to them tell you what they’re open to. They may not be hung up on roles but they DEFINITELY AREN’T open to all types of men and mostly learn towards the more masculine amongst us from what I’ve come across.

       1. Vain Pretty good argument, however I do disagree with you on two major points:

          1. You said “Attitudes may inform behavior but do not predict it or lead to it.

          A. If that is true then you may be contradicting yourself with your statement because this entire thread is about attitudes. 1. Attitude is defined in social psychology as” “Belief and feeling that predisposes one to respond in a particular way to objects, people and events.” 2. Another definition of attitude is “a hypothetical construct that represents an individual’s degree of like or dislike for something.” I interpret your response and a reflection of your attitude towards wolves who flip and towards hybirds in general. Your attitudes towards them also shape your behavior as far as how you respond to them or how you view them psychosexually.

          B. Also of course attitudes be used to can predict future behaviors, and have done so for centuries. Tyler Perry has made millions of dollar based upon his ability to predict the attitudes of black movie goers, as in political arenas when they conduct focus groups and polls, and Proctor Gamble spend millions of dollars per year to researching the purchasing attitudes of their target market in order to predict their purchasing behavior in order to produce stronger sales.

          When you say this “There is a part of hybrids that require that type of behavior and if it isn’t they will most certainly seek it elsewhere.” Plain and simple,” you are talking about the sexual attitudes of Hybirds and you are using their attitude towards to predict their behavior when you say this, “Thus leading to an unhealthy relationship and quite possibly infidelity.” Are you saying that all Hybirds are prone to “unhealthy relationships, and possibly infidelity?

          Finally, I think when discussion the sexual behavior and the sexual attitude of Hybirds I think that honestly Hybirds really need to speak for themselves, because I think that your attitude toward them may be making you a little biased towards them ; -).

13. Yo, I’m a Wolf and I must admit I have bottomed but only in a relationship (committed)….Personally, I could go without it I like laying pipe too much and watching the fox enjoy it…I can literally count on 1 hand the number of people who have topped me…Like others on this post, when on the certain very limited occasions that I was a fox I noticed that there was no erection at all and it wasn’t one until the uncomfortable, painful act was over, but that’s what you do in a relationship…you have to satisfy your partner, if you don’t someone else will…

    1. ^^and thank you for joining us Terry!
       more posts from you since we need a lot more Wolf input!

14. someones top is always someone else bottom….

    i say this to say, when u first became gay what attracted you to a man? the same shit that attracts you, is what attracts them..

    and just like a str8 nigga, at the end of the day if you been doing the same shit for years, same positions, same everything eventually your gonna get curious to what makes other niggas like that, and once u try it you may realize you like the feeling if only because its so different from what your used to, therefore i say everyone should be vers.

15. LOL Vain I know that no one said I was making accusations, I just used the word to clarify my perspective a little better. No the moral of my post is that hybird is not the way to go although I think that out of the whole lot they are the most well rounded and balanced of the group. When I used the term unrealistic in relationship to the post I was speaking of unrealistic expectations when it comes to the sexual aspects of the relationships that were discussed in this post. I also used the terms most, and perhaps I should have used the term in general” to underline that I was talking about some but not all. In relationship to this discussion I was coming from more of a Kinsey perspective where humans in general are sexual beings and our sexuality or what we like sexually is always in a state of flux meaning simply that a person at the begining of their same sex experience they like being a fox and at some point in their growth and evolution they may want to be a wolf or maybe some place in the middle hybird. I think that a person who actualize their sexuality in terms of growth evolutions should be encouraged, and respected and not the subject of scorn.

    Alfred Kinsey some psychologist consider him to be the father of modern sexual research created “The “Kinsey scale, also called the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale, the Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person’s sexual history or episodes of his or her sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively from “Wikipedia.” In general according to Kinsey no one is exclusively homosexual or heterosexual but we are always somewhere mostly towards one end of the spectrum or towards the other end of the spectrum. I think that they still publish the Kinsey Report and here is some links to his site http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/ http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-hhscale.html. They are good reading and I think important reading for Foxes, Wolves, and Hybirds. 😉 Also there is the Hite Report is also a good book to read and you can find the Hite and the Kinsey Report at your local book store or on Amazon.

    Also a excellent about black male sexuality is titled “More Than Sex: Reinventing The Black Male.” A really great book and here is the Amazon link to that book.

    http://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Sex-Reinventing-Black/dp/1575664984More Than Sex: Reinventing The Black Male

    1. I’ve answered the questions in the newest post. But I’m well aware of whole Alfred Kinsey and what his study was about. You’re trying to place the sexual preference template onto a totally different population and on a completely separate subject. If they asked the men in the study: “have you ever felt the need to be penetrated from time to time by your female partner?”, or asked women: “have you ever felt the need to penetrate your male partner?”, and the scores all landed somewhere in the middle, then i think you could make an argument.

       To me, the Kinsey study pretty much discusses that men and women may very well be attracted to and perhaps engaged in activity with the same sex, but it doesn’t necessarily describe their overall consistent behavioral patterns. Yes, they may fluctuate but generally its in small degrees and overall people’s sexual patterns tend to remain stable and consistent. THOUGHTS about attraction to same sex does not mean they are actually ENGAGING in sexual activity with someone of the same sex. Engaging once or twice with someone of a the same sex does not constitute that one falls somewhere in the middle of their sexual activity in relation to both sexes. “WHEN” the people have engaged in same sex relations as well as “HOW OFTEN” they do should be taken into account as opposed to focusing on “IF THEY HAVE EVER” exclusively. You won’t come across large amounts of men engaging in healthy, monogamous partnerships between both men and women and an equal rate (50:50) or even a somewhat equal rate (40:60).

       When you stated: “No the moral of my post is that hybird is not the way to go although I think that out of the whole lot they are the most well rounded and balanced of the group” That to me, still informed the rest of your post and where you’re coming from with these questions and that it is all definitely coming from a hybrid lens based on their wording alone, even if you don’t think so.

       People are free to sleep with whomever and however they want to. No one is denying them of that and saying they should be subject to persecution. But, we all are allowed to have our own personal preferences. Wanting someone who stay within a certain sexual position, at least i think, is perfectly normal and does not hinder someone from finding a healthy partnership. Love, does not as promised conquer all, and relationships are made up of a lot more than the way one feels about the other. Relationships take commitment and communication, yes, we understand that, butindividuals come with boundaries and values. Compromising on certain things to make the both of you SATISFIED is one thing, compromise for the same sake of KEEPING SOMEONE AROUND is another.

16. I mean to say that all I am attempting to do is to act as a reflecting board for the forum so that we may all reflect on what we are thinking and saying and how our thoughts and actions may impact our lives and the lives of others for the better or for the worst. 😉

17. Vain:

    I have nothing but a great respect this forum and all the people who participate in it and especially it’s creator Jar, and this is why I posed my comments in the form of reflective questions. They are questions and not accusations, and Vain in reading some of the comments in this post you don’t think some of them also have very negative connotations? All I am attempting to do is act the forum to reflect on what we are thinking and saying and how our thoughts and actions may impact our lives for the better or for the worst. 😉

    1. No one said they were accusations its just the way they’re worded to me is very particular. They may or may not reflect the sentiments of the previous comments. The impression i get from them is its very like top v.s. bottom and based on word choices like “unrealistic” it leads me to believe the moral of the story is the hybrid way of being is the ideal way to go in regards to making something work.

18. Here here yng wolf and I would really like to hear some honest comments on my post because I really want to be educated on this stuff.

    1. Most of those questions have a very negative connotation to them.

19. I remember a few years ago when I started to reach out on line to connect with other brothers who were down, and I did not really know about the caste system of “tops vs, bottoms, vs verse. I connected with a brother in ATL who was I guess a fox, and according to him “he was new to the whole MSM thing.” I remember him going into great detail about how he would like to have a nice DL masculine dick on the side to service him on the regular and so from the conversation I gather that he like getting dick. So being somewhat naive and being someone who felt that as a man, I have a dick and that a dick was created to be stuck in a warm receptive hole lol. I could not understand why he wasn’t talking about giving someone some dick? So I asked the brother had he ever dicked someone down before and from his vocal inflections and from his response over the phone; I thought that if he could reach through phone lines he would have choked me lol. He said “hell no that is nasty,” and so I asked him why does he consider it to be nasty to give someone else the pleasure that he enjoyed from receiving a dick? He could not answer that question and that was the last time I spoke to this brother.

    I remember another time I was talking to a Jedi master of MSM from Texas and he shared with me that in a top vs. bottom relationship if someone changed roles say a top flips to the bottom then the relationship is over.” I thought that was crazy because what about love, because I thought that love will conquer all and surely love transcend sexual roles? On one other occasion I spoke to a top brother who was from Detroit but he moved to DC to be with his lover who was a bottom brother and they were in a relationship for over five years. The top told me that “he learned towards the ending of the relationship that his so called bottom partner was tipping out on him and dishing out some serious dick to other brothers in the DC area. When the top confronted his partner about his cheating his partner told him that he always wanted to top him but he was afraid to ask so he went out and met his needs on his own.

    The top told told me that he was “devastated when he learned of his partner’s infidelity,” and so I asked him if he was willing to bottom for his lover in order to save his relationship and he said “yes he would if given time.” I have shared for the past few post some of my thoughts and opinions about M4M relationships, and relationships in general and at the core of my arguments was the need for couple to develop trust and long lasting relationship through communication and understanding, but I don’t think that I ever really asked any questions before tonight. In the past few post there were many discussions about relationships and how to find a wolf who is a keep ( my short interpretation of the posts). However in this post and the one about the what to do with if a baller cheats kind of give me a little insight into why some of these relationships tend to always go south. I am not being mean or condescending but I am being critical in my desire to keep this convo going in emotionally healthy ways

    My questions for this forum are:

    .1 Do most Foxes really want to be in a good healthy long term relationship with a good man or do they want a relationship with a sexual position?

    2. Are most Foxes so full of self loathing that the very ideal of someone who is topping them also getting topped by someone else do disgusting to them that it makes them physically ill?

    3. Are most Foxes so unrealistic in their sexual expectation of tops that they end up putting so much pressure on them to think and to perform as Uber tops and in the end they create the very tops that the claim to hate the which is the self-lover and serial toppers?

    4. Are the tops who feed into these unrealistic expectation of these Foxes crippling themselves sexually and emotionally?

    5. Do most Foxes really crave opening and loving relationships from their top partners that as soon as the top wants to try something new sexually they run screaming from the room only to find themselves back in the dating pool searching for that perfect top?

    6. Do the tops that feed into the I am a total top for life and if you are even thinking about my azz I will telepathically pick it up and feel violated really happy in their relationship long term?

    1. All that deserves it’s own separate posting…seriously.

       1. ^^ those questions will be in tomorrow’s entry Wolfie!

20. UrSoVain :
    There are bottoms who don’t like that? A wolf who eats gets extra points in my book.

    yep. there have been dudes I’ve had to pass on. its like someone baking you a chocolate cake and saying you can only eat it with a utensil, but dammit the cake is for ME and I want to dive in head first! lololol

    1. ^^A FOX WHO DOESNT LIKE HIS FOXTAIL LICKED….

       who are those fools??????????

21. I think that often times we speak from our value system and I think that most of the comments that are made in these posts are based on our sexual value systems. I suggest that if you want to know what your sexual value system is just look at your posts over the past week. 😉

22. JAY :
    “No shade” (lol), but you’re short and rather meek so that makes you the bottom by default, at least to me.
    Has a dude ever asked you to top?

    Who you callin’ meek? I’m pretty healthy lol. And yeah, because of my size tops seem to love me “You’re short. Thats so sexy!” I get a lot.

    And no, never been asked to top anyone although because of my level of masculinity i do attract foxes from time to time.

23. I agree with YngBlkWolf, I believe that when a person changes or decides they are a Hybrid they have probably been contemplating it for a while and finally want to act on it. However I think that a lot of the Wolves have or are conforming to the “trend” that’s present, because the sexy and desirable Foxes they are seeking are now Hybrids and they everywhere now. So to be more marketable so they give up their “Alpha Wolf” status for Hybrid that ends up leaving them for another better or more attractive Hybrid.

    I’m opposed to Hybrids because most of the participants are just seeking causal encounters, and I always thought that was reserved for Foxes and Wolves in a committed relationship who like YBW said want to switch up every blue moon.

24. JAY :
    Since we have complete bottoms here (Vain & Jamari), I have to ask:
    Do you even touch your dicks during sex? A lot of bottoms I know don’t even acknowledge them.
    Is there actual pleasure in bottoming, or is it the act of being dominated that satisfies you? I found myself a little confused as to what its supposed to feel like.

    Do I touch myself? Not really. And I don’t like getting head either. The few times its happened I’ve just been later there like: “Um, i could do better with my hand.”

    And for the second question. For me, its both. I have to concentrate in the beginning but then the sensation changes once you’ve relaxed and it feels like that total body experience the moment right before you ejaculate. But feeling their weight on top of you is an experience within itself. There is something amazing about it. Sometimes, i just like for a wolf to just lay on top of me. I’m really into foreplay and kissing and cuddling and dry humping… over intercourse.

    I cant tell you if its the reason why i like the type of guys that I do or not but I think it has something to do with it.

    1. Man there’s nothing like good, intense foreplay!

       Im not into mediocre head game either. Don’t let any air hit my dick. Make love to it like its a ice cream cone on a hot day! lol

       Now a bottom or hybrid that doesn’t like their ass ate may be a dealbreaker for me because Im really good at it and I lowkey enjoy doing it. lol

       1. There are bottoms who don’t like that? A wolf who eats gets extra points in my book.

       2. I agree with the foreplay. The best i ever had was just foreplay and nothing with anyone has been as good. I’ve been mostly a bottom but now in my late 20s the latent werewolf is showing. A lot of us black men(and the ladies, too) get caught up in these roles that border on male/female gender roles. Different strokes for different folks but the rules we place on ourselves and each other only limit our experiences. Hence why I’ve been on hiatus in the concrete jungle of NY for 3yrs.

25. Yep. There’s plenty of them.
    The chase and convincing is the best part for them.
    Getting a dude to do something he swears he wouldn’t.
    They want to break a dude in, not revisit territory thats already been conquered.

    I’m telling you, once this dude gets a taste of another dude dominating him and dicking him down they can care less about being a top. They want that new exciting feeling and they tend to cling to the dude that first gave them that feeling.

    I know too many dudes who went that route.

26. Er….. wow this is a really interesting post and there are so many ways that I could try to add my 50 cents (it is 50 cent because of the economy) LOL. I could start with my theory of secure top vs. insecure tops, or my theory about traditional bottoms vs. professional bottoms or even about the sexuality spectrum but I will pass for now for the sake of this convo it is really interesting. lol

    1. Please, join in – the more the merrier! *pulls up a chair for you*

    2. Yep that would be him lol, and I really don’t know anyone in the industry who has had a very positive interaction with Diddy go figure lol

27. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^^how can you tell a Wolf who really wants some pipe?

    He shows off his ass but denies he’s ever bottomed or that he’s open to it. There’s nothing wrong with a top with a nice ass but if he shows it off and gets heated when someone reacts he’s insecure because he’s curious about it. Usually those types run into someone more dominant than they are and they get turned out.

    1. ^the ever so scary WOLF SLAYER.
       Some fine ass Wolf who would rather bring down another Wolf than mess with a Fox.

       I knew one of them.
       He found it exciting and the ultimate turn on.
       I hear thru the grapevine Diddy is one…

       1. So what is it if you don’t care whether they are a fox, hybrid, or wolf? Equal-opportunity? lol

          I’d rather deal with foxes & hybrids, cuz there’s more adventure & I don’t have to break you in. Those dudes often only like it one way/style cuz otherwise it hurts otherwise…and you can’t continue piping em once they nutt :-\

       2. Diddy is many things but my experience being around him is that he has a lot of bad Karma that surrounds him like body odor. I wonder if the still has that 6’8 300 plus pound white body guard?

          1. ^^his eyes are very dark and scary.
             I was intimidated to look in them.
             He is one person who is very dark lol

28. Since we have complete bottoms here (Vain & Jamari), I have to ask:

    Do you even touch your dicks during sex? A lot of bottoms I know don’t even acknowledge them.

    Is there actual pleasure in bottoming, or is it the act of being dominated that satisfies you? I found myself a little confused as to what its supposed to feel like.

    1. Yes, inquiring minds want to know. I’ve been with some hung bottoms and it boggled my mind that they barely touched themselves or even thought about using it. Some seemed to get harder when they were servicing/being submissive versus actually f8cking (though they enjoyed that too).

       I can’t imagine seeing a nice azz and NOT wanting to stick it…so please, enlighten us! 🙂

       (and i know all about the prostate gland, but there’s not enough pleasure there to compensate for the pain of my hole being stretched…)

29. ive always dated guys that are older. i realized long ago that guys my age and younger tend not to know what they want. im a hybrid but i never switched up the roles.

30. Another thing.

    You’d be better off going after a dude who has tried bottoming before and didn’t like it like YBW, rather than someone who says they’ve never done it and never will. I can’t tell you how many ” straight tops” I found out were someone else’s bottom and they lied or later on down the line they met some dude that turned them into a full blown bottom.

    Say what you want, but at least my curiousity is cured. *shrugs*

    1. JAY :You’d be better off going after a dude who has tried bottoming before and didn’t like it like YBW, rather than someone who says they’ve never done it and never will. I can’t tell you how many ” straight tops” I found out were someone else’s bottom and they lied or later on down the line they met some dude that turned them into a full blown bottom.
       Say what you want, but at least my curiousity is cured. *shrugs*

       THIS. Say it again for those in the cheap seats! They get some good pipe inside them and it’s a wrap lol.

       But I can kinda tell who might want to fugg me (or fugg period), and I’ve never gotten that vibe from you, Vain, so don’t worry…now Jamari on the other hand, might need to screen a few lolol

       1. ^^how can you tell a Wolf who really wants some pipe?

31. He was definitely a fox in wolfs clothing. I find that tends to happen when we’re young ans we get older some return to being wolves again.

    I may be alone on this but i prefer my wolves to be…. TOPS! Fuck that flip floppin shyt. Not interested. Don’t have the time. Hybrids need not apply because there’s a part of you that needs to be satisfied and this fox is not one to give it to you. Call be what you want but I know what i like.

    ::cues music::

    “And i would do anything for love…

    but i won’t do that!”

    1. “No shade” (lol), but you’re short and rather meek so that makes you the bottom by default, at least to me.

       Has a dude ever asked you to top?

       1. LMAO!!! SO TRUE, that’s the rule in my book as well, no matter how masculine you are …short thick dudes = BOTTOM by default….

          1. ^^i don’t know T.
             I have meet some very napoleon complex-ed short man Wolves in my day.
             usually have fat asses and would NEVER let you go anywhere neat their asses.

    2. ^I agree.
       first I would be so stressed lololol
       second, if my Wolf moaned like a girl..

       … the only thing that would land on his back is my throw up!

32. I’ve said it before, I’ve bottomed. Didn’t like it, don’t plan on doing it again. However, if the dude of my dreams wanted some booty every blue moon, I’d accomodate him because he’s my baby. Either that, or get a bottom to share lol

    I like cakes too much to give them up…I could see myself never bottoming, but I have to get some azz. So maybe he was really a hybrid all along…*shrug*

    1. Yep, I like cakes way more than I like dick.

       I think I’d just be wondering what I’m missing out on if I had to choose.
       I’ve never enjoyed bottoming, but like “What if” dude has really good pipe laying skills?
       I mean like “erupt w/o touching yourself while speaking in tongues” pipe game?

       I may want to try that once in a while. lol

       1. I don’t see it as choosing, I just see it as doing what you like. If you like a little pipe once in a while, cool – I’ll give it to you. Just don’t get bent out of shape (no pun intended) if I don’t reciprocate…cuz Iont like it. I’ve run into cats who use sexual position as a power trip, which I don’t have time for. Just know that if you’re dealing with me Imma bend you over…or at least try; but the only thing I want inside me is a tongue lol

          And if you ever want to try it out again, Jay, just give me a call 😉

    2. Ditto. I’ve thrown my legs up on more than one occassion. My last time? June 23 2009. I let a piece in and he tore my shit up. He was pretty long and thick and it was painful, so much so he never finished his duty. I asked him “Did you like that?” He replied “Yeah dude..that was sweet.” I said “Good. Because you will never get it
       again.”

       They say never say never, but after that experience, I will never take dick again. I’ll let you lick it, finger it but no stickie. I closed that chapter.

33. This kind of sounds like a woman who has just found out her bf//husband is D.L.

    I can’t imagine myself having sex ONE WAY with someone I’m into for the rest of my life, especially if I’m into them. I want to experience every aspect of them. I mean I wouldn’t rule it out if that dynamic makes keeps both parties satisfied, but I’d like the option.

    I have enough restrictions/rigid roles in every aspect of my life. I should be able to leave them at the door when I get to my bedroom.

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