sometimes,
you have to ask yourself:
“What about your friends?”
the people you call “your friends”.
that title you attach to folks means a lot.
my version of being a friend might be different than others.
so i have to share something with the foxhole…
when i fell a few months back,
i was in tremendous pain.
one of my home-wolves said he had some “muscle relaxers” i could take.
we didn’t got a chance to link,
but i think God stopped it.
so i got through that pain with aleve,
but i was mad at him for not coming through to give it to me.
cool.
the other day we linked and he decided to hook me up with them.
i reminded him it was a couple months too late.
he gave me two small pills in a plastic baggy.
he never told me what they were,
but continued assuring me they were “muscle relaxers”.
so i’m thinking they were another version of a bumped up tylenol,
but my foxy senses were feeling weird about it.
“don’t take these before work.”
they’ll make you mad tired and lazy.”
duh.
if they’re muscle relaxers,
i’m not trying to be fucked up on the clock.
i figured they were a “saturday/lay in bed” type of situation.
“i’ll keep them in case i get injured again.”
today,
i was watching “american crime story” and there was a scene about drug addiction.
i watched one of the characters get completely out of their mind.
it had me a little shook,
but something made me stop watching to look up the pills i got.
foxhole…
it was oxycodene,
which is an opioid.
it is also highly addictive.
i didn’t know how crazy they are until i googled and asked questions.
now the old me,
the depressed and low worth version,
wouldn’t even would have investigated what they were.
i would have taken them based on a friends recommendations.
the side effects of that shit blew me away.
the new me asked myself a ton of questions.
what if those pills fucked me up mentally?
what is i became addicted?
what if one pill killed me?
what if,
what if,
what if…?
i imagined me not keeping up with the foxhole and losing it.
i saw me as a drug addict who lost his mind.
i have so much to lose and they were flushed immediately.
the alligators can enjoy it.
i’m so good.
i’m disappointed in myself that i didn’t turn them down initially tho.
i gotta also wonder:
Would a friend,
one who should know and understand me,
give me some shit like that?
the newer version of me is waiting to go the fuck off.
lowkey: one time for God tho.
i realize when things end,
or don’t happen,
it’s for a reason.
one time for me also.
i’m getting stronger.
I would question that ‘friend’ primarily because he lied about what he was giving you. Oxy is NEVER prescribed as a muscle relaxer. It is a pain killer (or more properly a brain numb-er, it makes you not care what your body is feeling or doing).
O2O said it best – don’t take things that weren’t prescribed to and for you or that you did not obtain legitimately for yourself.
I am so glad your inner strength kicked in in time to make you question and moreso to hear you’re getting stronger.
When I had my shoulder surgery a few years back they prescribed Oxy.
I’d heard that it was a gateway drug to other harder drugs, so I just used Motrin (lots of it).
^ill stick with aleve and prayer LOL
Set up or not? Hmmm. More so, accountability for self decisions. You accepted something that you never should’ve accepted.
Let’s just say, never accept medicine in a plastic bag. Heck, never take something you weren’t prescribed or didn’t buy yourself over-a-counter. Safety and legal perspective.
Glad your brain activated before putting that in your system. It’s a real epidemic out here, got to be smart everyday you wake up with breath.
^thank you o2o.
that was my main issue within myself too.
instead of saying no,
i still took it because a friend passed it to me.
you are on point with that safety and legal perspective too.
i’ll do better next time.
We live and learn daily. And we make mistakes along the way. But it’s what we do after the mistakes that matters greatly.
You did the right thing in the end. Kuddos for the flush!
I’m on the fence with this one, I see where ur coming from, but I dnt think u should get upset with the friend, it’s good he only gave u 2, cause 9/10 2 Oxys weren’t gonna make u an addict, now they would have prolly made u Nauseous AF!!! And I think that’s enough to put most level headed people off them. Couple years ago I played around with them jus wanting to “see” (I was depressed at that time) & all it gives u is an intense numb/calm/tingly feeling, but as it wears off your left with hours of Nausea, and I do mean HOURS, I honestly dnt know how those addicted can handle it, unless that feeling subsided as u build up tolerance? But either way good thing u didn’t take em, but I’m sure the friend wasn’t tryna set u up, cause again most level headed everyday people will jus take em for severe pain & have no desire to make em an everyday part of their life
^oh i can’t do nausea!!!!
online,
it had that oxycodene is also another version of herion.
it has made folks paranoid and other things.
maybe he didn’t try to set me up,
but you never know these days.
Yes, Opioids are highly addictive. I would not recommend anyone allowing another person to get them anything, especially if it comes in a bag. You are better off going to the store to be honest.
^see this is what is making me upset…
i could have been a WHOLE fucked up out here.
You would have been like all those other lost ones out there. Glad you didn’t take them.