you know what’s wild?
i was gonna write an entry about him a few weeks ago.
his ex-manager outed him about ( x his alleged drug use ).
i never got around to it and the twitter thread got deleted.
it seemed like things were good but this news today really broke me…

Continue reading “rest in peace to angus cloud” →

blessings.
they can come at any time when we least expect them.
i think that is the beauty of life that we don’t realize.
sometimes,
God can throw us a bone or a whole carcass.
remember ( x this entry ) that i wrote?
after i wrote it,
i had felt a release and acceptance after.
when i let go of something (or someone) and move on,
magic always happens.
i got an email a week later from one of my foxholers asking…

Continue reading “so i attended a renaissance the other night and well…” →

“When you keep meeting the same male over and over,
they are all trying to teach you something.”

the a-ha moment.
someone said that to me over the weekend and it was profound.
it felt like it cleared my sinuses and put me in another timeline.
after i sat and thought about it,
all of those wolves that broke me all had the same scent…

Continue reading “round and round you go, you keep meeting the same type of man, hoe.” →

i have been obsessed with this documentary on max called “last call: when a serial killer stalked queer new york“.
i didn’t even know this was a thing until i started watching.
he was like the summer of sam serial hyena was to brunettes in new yawk.

The serial hyena would meet unsuspecting gay males at bars,
take them home for a night of sex,
and they’d be found in pieces in Jersey days later.
Their heads and limbs in one area; their belongings in another.

the documentary focused on homophobia in the 90s new yawk too.
it was a time when violence against gays was at a high and accepted.
nypd did not gaf and indulged in their own hatred towards gays.
add onto this deranged serial killing hyena in the background,
it was a tough time to be gay in new yawk during the 90s.
each victim was different but it made me think about something…

Continue reading “last call at the bar for a round of gay murder” →

The first summer that everyone isn’t wearing masks anymore but their real masks are flying TF off.

foxhole,
wake up,
another attentionisto heading to cell block d just dropped.
this drop had my box on fire over the weekend.
porn attentionisto,
leclair marquis aka knockout,
might be another who will be spending time on cell block “d” in florida.
i’m not fonting about a scene for onlyfans.
i’m fonting about this…

Continue reading “the mask flew off in one knockout” →

two things can be true at the same time.
i don’t think many of us realize this,
especially in the black community.
we expect everyone to be as pretty and perfect as what we see on instagram.

you can have a very pretty life and be very sad too.
hell…

There are people who post their pretty pictures but literally waiting to die.

can you handle their truth?
or do you want them to always be pretty?
to entertain you because you are dying inside too?
you don’t come to this foxhole because i post pretty pictures,
pretending to be better than you…

Continue reading “oh hi, i’m back from my psychotic meltdown” →