i need a new job so bad that it kept me up all last night.
of course on a night i only slept 6 hours,
today had to pop off with the most issues and attitudes.
for one,
this job is a bridge that can’t sustain me long term.
with the way you gotta make 3xs the income to get your own spot:

it came at a good time when i needed it,
but the more i work at the job,
the more i realize this bridge is getting narrower.
working in a small suburban office is cool until…

you know what my biggest issue is with DL or curious wolves?
since everything is on their time,
you’re always catering to them to make “the move”.

that could happen tomorrow.
that could happen six months from now.
that could happen never.

all that back and forth is trash and honestly…

nothing is worse than when you think you met cool people at work,
and they end up making your work day an absolute nightmare.
i can only imagine what karamo brown dealt with on queer eye,
but if history has taught us:

you gotta be careful with bitchy white gays.
many of them see you as BBC or beneath them.
some will play “oppressed” and flip on that privilege real quick too.

karamo is broke his silence about what happened and why he left…

i been thinking that if everything that has happened these last 3 years,
even if i thought it was so negative,
was actually part of God’s plan?

this time last year of june 2025,
in about a month,
i was gonna come where i am now for a BBQ.
i didn’t want to come but something urged me to go.
when i left here that night to go back to new yawk,
i have on video telling my friend i was gonna live here.

“i don’t know how,
but i’m going to live here.”

and even though this transition wasn’t ‘a walk in the park…

aww andy!
i would have respected if you kept the tweet up.
posting and deleting like rih’s social media don’t know how to screenshot?

i’d imagine one of his social media saavy nuclear kids would have told him.

so us representative of tennessee,
andy ogles,
could not contain his intrusive thoughts enough.
he went on X to throw salt on the gay parade for pride month.
i don’t recall us asking for his opinion,
nor did we realize he existed.
now he put a target on his back and the hunt for his hidden grindr begins.
they never learn,
do they?
my question to these kinds of straight jackals is always…

one of the last things my mother told me on her deathbed was:

“make sure you and your sister don’t get separated.
i want you both together.”

…and i tried.
if it wasn’t jackals circling her money,
it was relatives coddling her because she was “light skin”.

Foxhole,
it was a challenge.

i often wonder what our lives would have been like if we moved to florida?
we were supposed to go live with our uncle,
but tbh,
his life crashed and burned a few years later.
as my sister got older,
her mental health got worse and worse.
unfortunately,
we don’t have the kind of relationship my mother wanted for us.
she hits me up ever so often with “i’m gonna do better” DMS.
i don’t answer because she isn’t gonna do better.

i’ve been seeing a lot of discourse online about rue,
who is played by zendaya on “euphoria“.

people saying lexi was mean.
people saying her mother should have tried harder.
people saying they wanted a happier ending for rue.

mmm.

until you’ve loved someone struggling with addiction,
or severe mental health issues…