you know sally had a saying when life makes you deal with mean and hateful people think of them as sand paper. they may scratch you they may rub you in the wrong way, but eventually you will polished and smooth and the sandpaper… well, it will be worn and ugly. (Beyonce, The Fighting Temptations)

It hurts when you are treated like trash, don’t it?

Have you ever done good for someone (or people),
and it goes UN-acknowledged and UN-appropriated?
That seems to have been my experiences of “When Proving Myself Goes Wrong“…
But, you learn to not over-extend yourself to people who you know won’t give a fuck.
That is what happened when I went back to my old job Friday….
Continue reading “One Man’s Trash Can Make The Whole Block Smell Good” →

I thought about something today.
What would Jamari be without “thinking“, huh?

I was laying in my bed this morning,
after making a muthafucka of an omelet I might add,
and I was thinking about losing it all….

Continue reading “God Kills Optimistic People, Don’t He?” →

THROW DIRT ON ME: GROW A WILD FLOWER.

God has a funny way of getting your attention when you are fucking up.
He may put someone negative in your life to show you how to fight.
He may take something you loved away to make you see how comfortable you were getting.
Or, he may drain your account for you to see how money is important for survival.

God got my full attention last week…

Continue reading “Are You Really Prepared For When Your Storm Comes?” →

I feel over it.
I am literally crying as I type this.
Ever since I have been unemployed,
I have been seriously pinching pennies.
I started to look for jobs, but I cannot find any.
I wanted to start my career, which has been proving myself, and I am getting places…
…but it is “free” work.

I look in my account just now and I am over-drafted like 500 dollars.
My savings is completely drained too.
I thought to myself, “Maybe I am imagining things…”
I called my bank IMMEDIATELY and they tell me that my account has been placed on a legal hold.
The IRS decided to take money out of my account I didn’t know I even owed in 2007,
so they decided that in 2012 when I was at my lowest,
to completely DRAIN my account.

So this means I cannot make my rent,
pay the bills I owe next week,
can’t buy food.
and pretty much going to be homeless.

GREAT START FOR JUNE.

I am so depressed right now and I cannot find help.
I just do not get it.
I do good and then, I’m slapped with bullshit.
I feel like I want to throw up.
I feel like I want to die.
I can’t figure which one to do first.

I really a miracle right now.

Job 4:8 says, “As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it.”

Do you believe the following Bible verse?
If not, stand by the window so that lightning bolt can proceed to hit your ass.
I am a strong believer in that little bitch named “Karma”.

I have seen her come in and whip people in to shape RIGHT.
She is like a super hero for good.
Bad people did something wrong or ignorant and they were indeed punished.
I, alas, have even experienced some karma of my own.
I started to wonder…

Is karma just something we hold onto when we are done wrong?

Continue reading “God, I Never Been Fucked In My Ass Harder Than I Have Been With Karma” →

Hail Mary, full of grace
Get down on your knees and pray
Jesus Christ, hanging on the cross
Died for our sins, it’s such a loss
Saint Christopher, find my way
I’ll be coming home one day
Saint Sebastian, don’t you cry
Let those poison arrows fly
Saint Anthony, lost and found
Thomas a cryin’, just stand your ground
All those saints and holy men…

Catch me before I sin again

I hate Christians.
I do not hate God.
I love him for the fact that he sent his only begotten son to die on the cross for me.
But, I really hate Bible Thumpers.
I hate them with a passion.
They are what is wrong with church today.

Where the fuck do you get off trying to tell me about myself?

Continue reading “I’m A Sinner… and I Like it That Way.” →