Ugly.
Lanky.
Awkward.
“A Girl” aka Not Like The Other Boys

that’s how i used to view myself.
anytime i got high,
that is the fox i saw in my mind.
i would associate myself with how they spoke of “bullers” in barbados.
( x what a buller is )

*These males that dl males crept into their backdoors secretly to fuck.
*The ones that would be ignored and shamed in public.
*Some dressed up in drag and were labeled crazy.

i was scared to be myself because this is how i felt i was viewed.
it made me super self-conscious and living in my head all the time.
“is this why many of them kept me as a secret?”
“why they didn’t want people to know we were friends/close?”
i’m sure it was true to some but that wasn’t the reality for all.
i asked myself a question while on my day off yesterday…

Continue reading ““they don’t like you because you’re ugly, gay, and possibly do drag.”” →

there are a lot of us who don’t want to be gay or even bi.
i mean,
it’s not an easy life to live.
some of us never really fit in and it’s worse…

When you are black and gay,
looking for something that probably doesn’t exist.

i can make a bet that:

If we decided tomorrow to turn straight,
we would get girlfriends by noon tomorrow.

i know i would.
there are so many vixens that would take my hand in marriage tomorrow.
tiktoker,
christian michael,
turned his life over to God and got delivert.
he is an ex-gay who is married to a vixen and had this message to share…

Continue reading “the once gay-but-now-delivert straight has a message for us” →

Why are you with her?

you look like you’d be happier with another male.
your pictures with other males,
compared to the ones you take with her,
are always night and day.
in some cases,
you look like you are single.
every time you take a picture with her tho,
it looks like you are being held at gunpoint.
the misery on your face can’t be ignored.
i mean,
she looks thrilled in each photo.
in some cases,
they know the truth but they’re just happy to have a man.
i was once like you,
ya know…

Continue reading “why are you dating her when you’d rather be with another man?” →

everyone has an opinion of what’s gay and what’s straight.
i know for me,
i struggled with that when i was dealing with my sexuality.

Should I move my arms when I walk or should I keep them in my pockets?
Should I listen to males or vixens singing?
Should I deepen my voice or speak in my regular tone?
Should I befriend vixens or try to seek out male friendships?
Should I go to the gay club and risk being seen and humiliated?
Should I hang with him because he is feminine or will that make me guilty by association?

bad enough,
every decision i made was because i didn’t want to be judged.
i was judged,
picked apart,
and given years of trauma from family and peers.
i was exhausted and recently started to accept all of myself.
saucy santana thinks straight wolves shouldn’t smoke hookah.
why?
he thinks it’s feminine and only gays should be smoking hookah…

Continue reading “saucy santana thinks straights males need NOT to be smoking hookah cause its gay” →

one thing about boosie,
he is gonna find himself on vladtv to have a conversation.
that channel is his reality show confessional.
boosie had a conversation about ( x his daughter who just came out ).
of course…

Continue reading “boosie has some “we been knew he would answer like this” about his gay kid” →

some gay males are absolutely insufferable.
we don’t want to address that rainbow elephant in the room.
i’m not fonting all of us are but you know the ones i’m talmbout…

Continue reading “when we hurt other people’s feelings, the gay shield will protect us from harm” →