i BELIEVE in you and me

i came to a conclusion while listening to “i believe in you and me” by whitney.
the whole song is like the affirmations for a long-lost love.


she “believed” that they will return.
it was that word:


that word gave me my “a-ha moment“…

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my friends f*cked each other, f*cked me, and karma f*cked them

there was a vixen and wolf (before they turned) i was really cool with.

this was during my brief stint as a high school student before i dropped out.
 if you came to school late,
you couldn’t get into the building so we met playing hooky.
we had a good time that day.
a week later,
they started fucking.
i’d be on the bed,
playing video games,
and he would be clappin’ her cheeks hard.
they’d let me touch them as they were getting it on.
she had a nice bawdy and he had a big beautiful dick and fat ass.
i was in the room when they tried anal for the first time.
they wanted me to watch.

You know I like watching people fuck.

it was good up until

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I Think You Need Some Coffee Because You Look Tired Boo.

i needed to watch this.
won’t lie,
woke up feeling a little defeated.
things are moving slow.
slow and shaky.
life is not being fair.
in between the tears,
i still believe.
i believe something better is out there for me.
this can’t be “it”.
all the bad treatment and the hurt…
was that for nothing?
was i given this talent to write for it to be nowhere?
was i put here on earth to suffer?
there are so many other people who are suffering.
so many people who are living in hell and have everything.
it’s not me.
i don’t think so.
but it’s my mind that will keep me contained.
keep me stagnant.
you’re not good enough.”
you will never make it.
you will never get a job.
“you will be doomed.
it’s that voice.
that is what makes you “not make it”.

i came across these video and it was like coffee for a tired soul..

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