What happens when you realize you’ve been the superhero in everyone else’s story,
yet your own plot feels a little…
un-heroic?

i made a mistake.
a big one.
after days of feeling so low,
it hit me like a lightning bolt…

i’ve always been there for others,
offering advice,
support,
and a listening ear to prove my worth or be accepted.
my family knows i’m struggling atm,
yet not once have they asked if i’m okay,
if i need groceries,
or if i could use a little help with my bills.
my cousin was so excited to brag about her home and buying louis vuitton.
it’s as if i am wearing a cape of invisibility,
lost among the forgetfulness of their lives.

Birthdays?
Death anniversaries?
I always remembered and showed up.

ask if they ever sent me a message on my mother’s birthday or death anniversary?

i worked tirelessly,
proving my worth as an employee,
only to be shown the door because my bosses were idiots.
the ones who did the least?
they’re still clocking in and out at the same jobs,
doing just enough to get by.

i’ve developed so many powers:

Dependable
Loyal
Always present
The go-to guru for advice

those same folks who thrived on my energy?
the moment i needed a little support,
they disappeared faster than russell simmons out the US.
how many people did i help,
only to watch them sidestep me for someone else?
how many opened my door and my heart,
only to find that none of it mattered when the roles were reversed?

So the real mistake?

i was overachieving out of insecurity.
let’s be real:

I’m the best thing anyone could have in their life.
I know how to be a real friend,
how to show up,
how to keep their secrets even after we have ended,
and how to work harder than anyone else.

i wasted those powers on the wrong people.
i raised the bar so high and they got comfortable in my greatness.
now that i need support?
they’re nowhere to be found.
i’ll graciously take that L for “learned“.

this is the turning point tho.
this is when the heroes stop saving everyone else and starts focusing on themselves.
maybe it’s time to really embrace your villain era,
because it’s not about regretting the past anymore…

It’s about owning it and using every lesson as a weapon.

YOU are amazing.
YOU are talented.
YOU are loyal to a fault.
YOU are the strongest ally anyone could hope for.
They’ll never find another YOU and that’s their loss.

i’ve reached the part of my journey where I don’t need anyone’s validation.
i’ve proved myself enough.

It’s time for some of those people to start proving themselves to me.

lowkey: maybe we should wear dark with bits of color this upcoming era?
mourning who we use to be; the color is the light shining through.
going full dark mode is ultimate too.