39 thoughts on “ryan russell comes out and wants to represent gays in the nfl!”

1. Hey, I have no problem with who he dates. My issue is why do you have to have you partner in the video holding your hand? If you want to be bisexual in the NFL (and trust, there are several in the league) why not just do it. Why do you need someone with you? Michael Sam did the same thing. Is it a syndrome?

   1. ^”hello white people!
      my white partner makes me look less threatening.
      accept me because i know my own community wont”

      ?

2. I’m a black successful professional guy married to another black successful professional guy. We’ve been married for 4 years but dated almost 9 years before we tied the knot a total of almost 14 years in the game. We can totally be unapologetically black in each other’s presence and we require our children to do the same. Some people just have so much self shame and hate that they feel “no one in their race is worthy.”

   Honestly, If all you’re attracted to when it comes to black men are weed smoking, bad credit having, character lacking, no drive kinda black men—the problem isn’t them, it’s you! You are attracted to that type and it’s okay to say so! You like DL men that won’t claim you—it’s all you! I’m trying to figure out why people are so “attracted” to this stereotyped black male but put the blame on “him”🤔 Ultimately, you like what you like! Just don’t come with the stereotypes to justify it. Some want an illusion known as the thirst factor when it comes to their relationship…which always leads to destruction and loneliness. I would see it all the times in certain circles in the gay black community. You know the circles that want a certain kinda guy that everyone knows can’t offer them what they desire—ball kids are famous for it.😩

   I know many college educated, successful, faithful, beautiful gay men that are coupled to other black men—but they didn’t get to that place with stereotypes and internalized oppression of self hate. We celebrate being unapologetically black and gay! 👑

   1. Same here. Like, U, I have a wonderful career minus marriage lol. I have no issues finding an equally successful ‘Black’ man who is compatible. I LOVE Black men of all stripes & professions from blue to white collar – i don’t care 

      I was taught @ a young age to love and support ur partner no matter what – and to find a partner who knows and understands ur pain, failures and successes. So often It seems like [some] successful Black men -gay or straight – continue to gravitate toward Whites as a symbol or status of success. Some brothas need a reality check, quick.

      1. I’m glad that more of us are speaking out against the ignorant stereotype that “we have nothing to offer,” “we don’t buy houses, cars, and invest in businesses together”—only white guys do that! What!

         Now if you just don’t date black dudes that’s on you but don’t paint a picture of us as this stereotypical less than. After all those white men have no problems snatching you up real quick and trying to relationship you.

3. I was on Reddit a few days ago and a Black guy from Europe posted a topic with the title, “I’m Black but I’m not Attracted to Black Guys.”

   Where he’s from, it isnt as diverse but growing up he was around his cousins a lot and he said that he never looked at a black man sexually. When he meats other black men, he treats them like they are bros and he said he can’t see himself having sex with them.

   His boyfriend is white and doesn’t like white guys but loves black men.

   The problem is that they wanted to have a threesome and his boyfriend wanted another black man to join but the Black guy was opposed to this because he’s not attracted to other black men.

   I questioned this man & he said I seemed defensive and I told him I was because he’s putting his own people in a box & letting it sit on the shelf.

   So I asked him, how does he handle mixed people? Someone who is both black and white? Are they your half bro or does it depend on their SKIN COLOR?

   And how are two not attracted to each other’s race but want some attracted to you both in the bedroom?

   He brushed off the question & it annoyed me somewhat he did.

   I just see this problem with people who don’t date their own race as in deliberately avoiding them. It’s like…I’m black but I don’t like other blacks because I think they are and low on the desirable scale but if I a white person (or anyone not black) it will raise my status.

   Note: I am not bashing all interracial relationships.

4. How you can date someone with no lips, is beyond me. I like feeling something when I kiss.

5. I actually thought this one was gonna buck the cliche lol. Kudos to him, but I can see why this image would be jarring to some of us. You could say that love is blind, but let’s not ignore the fact there are serious structural factors that make it harder for black people to love and fall in love with each other. Not to get all SJW on y’all, but I do believe that global white supremacy creates an environment where a lot of black people (gay black included) don’t truly love themselves. If you don’t love yourself, you’re not gonna love a person that reflects your image. Hence the reason why a lot of black dudes seek out and pedestalize the dudes that look the least like them.

   I also understand that some people just wanna find happiness with another human being that loves and accepts them for who they are. That certainly could be the case here, so I don’t want to project any negativity onto a situation that I know nothing about. I just don’t want us to gloss over the fact a lot of gay black men are struggling to find lasting, healthy relationships with other black men, so it may be hard to digest an image such as this. And let’s face it, the dating pool for black men who only date black men sucks as whole lol. That doesn’t mean that black men suck, but it does mean that there have been a host of unaddressed and widespread factors that have compromised black mens’ collective ability to show up in romantic relationships, both straight and gay. In any event, I wish this dude the best of luck. I suspect he’ll need it.

6. If you ain’t in the NFL then how are you a NFL player coming out? This has got to be the dumbest idea. Actually get your ass on a team, play a couple of months then sashay your way out the closet. That’s how you make change from the inside not from the outside looking in. This will be the first and last time we hear about him. Idiot.

   1. “If you ain’t in the NFL then how are you a NFL player coming out?”

      LMFAO, right…?!

7. Yes, Psychonegrosis (psychological weakness and dysfunction) is the largest problems faced by black / African people at home and abroad. In fact, it is likely Psychonegrosis to deny the existence of Psychnegrosis. Don’t believe me? Listen to the African Union’s ambassador to the United States, starting at about 10:45 and 18:00 here: https://youtu.be/gz-c8y0LhKA

   1. I listened to the vid and Auntie was droppin’ gems.

8. I’m happy for him coming out. It’s a huge step. Just think of all the current active, inactive and free agent players who are in the NFL, and how few are out as gay, bi, pan, etc., even after they’ve been outed, like Kerry Rhodes. So mega props for his bravery. Will he ever play in the NFL again, though? I doubt it.

   In terms of his boyfriend, I wasn’t surprised. I will push back against all the negative comments about other Black gay people. I am with another Black man, and I know Black-Black & Black-Latino couples. If you are Black and gay/bi and you’re talking down Black gay people and Black gay communities, aren’t you talking down yourself? Our communities aren’t perfect, but none are. We only get better if we work to improve ourselves and love each other.

   We’re bombarded with images of whiteness and white people as the most attractive, ideal, etc. from the time we’re babies. It’s true for straights and it’s true for gays, bis and trans people. White princesses and white princes. White heroines and white heros. White saviors. Mainstream gay media also centers whiteness and even when it features interracial couples, it centers whiteness. White is always portrayed as right, good, beautiful, best. A white boyfriend/partner/husband often brings status, and in many cases wealth, connections, etc. Other white people are comfortable with them. We internalize this stuff.

   It’s very different today than it was in the 1970s, 1980s and even 1990s, when we still had a sense of “Black is Beautiful.” Those were revolutionary words. We fought for that. Also, Marlon Riggs’ “Black men loving Black men is the revolutionary act.” We don’t see this enough in our media so we have to fight to love ourselves and each other.

   Desire is personal, but it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Many of us grow up in homophobic environments (I did) and struggle to accept being gay, bi, trans, even though the general attitudes in the US and some other countries are improving. But some Black gay people equate that homophobia with Blackness and Black people, even though the main people trying to take away LGBTQ rights are powerful White men. Barack Obama wasn’t trying to get the Supreme Court to let you be fired, Donald Trump and the GOP are.

   Yet if you are Black and gay and with a white person, does that person ever understand the racism, hostility, oppression, challenges, etc. you face? Do they give up their white privilege, innocence, entitlement, fragility or even acknowledge them? I don’t have the answers, but I will say congrats to Ryan Russell again.

9. Now there are successful black gay relationships—-they are hidden away from the limelight. If you are smart you keep your mouth shut. You don’t tell your gay friends or family about it…and that’s the problem. The world isn’t ready for it.

   I know plenty in the NFL and NBA.

10. Dang another one off the market-LoL. I heard this story today on News Radio while I was coming home from work and called a friend and asked him had he heard about this. We both said, he must have a white boyfriend if he is coming out like this not knowing anything at the time. Welp, I see we were right. These white boys will always make these Black dudes come out to be with them. It’s a wrap though for his NFL career, the NFL is still not going to openly embrace a gay dude no matter if it is 2019. They pretty much send the message in America that our sports institution are our last Heterosexual institutions and they will not be infiltrated with the “Gays” at least not with the out gays.

11. 🙄 You know what….. I just think they see white people as a symbol of prosperity. While people give white folks credit here and there, they are still lowdown and sneaky and will leave you high and dry just like anyone else.

    But we do need to address why the media only wants to show a Black gay man with a white one or another race all the time. In nearly every depiction of Black gay men either actual or fictional (aside few from as here and there and low budget indies) they are always paired with a white person or someone not black.

    If they do show them…one of them is a thug & the other is flamboyant….neither are in the limelight of a successfull future.

    Black people weren’t taught all that because white supremacists founded it and they still enforce it to this day.

    America shits on gays but they are hella more tolerant of White gays than they are of Black ones in the media and you will rarely see two gay black men forming a positive relationship but you will see them in pairs either under arrest or getting thrown in a body bag for “mistaken identity.”

    We couldn’t even keep Noah’s Arc or DL Chronicles which to be honest, though they have some of those misconceptions I have mentioned and we’re fictional they were entertaining and refreshing. Just Black men liking black men.

    There has been no Black versions of “Looking”, no Black versions of “Queer as Folk” (which had 5+ damn seasons) and not a single black protagonist…oh wait ,there was a black guy in one episode I remember…but he had a white boyfriend…so nevermind..

    You always have that “famous black dude” who comes out and wants us too support gays when he should be coming out to promote Black Gay love which is hella underrepresented.

    While I have nothing against interracial relationships in general, they aren’t the only relationships that givew to success.

    I’m talking about meaningful shit. NFL is nothing but entertainment.

    1. I always like reading what you have to say Jammy.

       It’s unfortunate honestly. I can’t remember someone black and openly gay loving on someone that is black as well. Black men in general have this thing where they see white as being worthy, esp in celebrity or high end circles. It’s like a little clique where they THINK they will get accepted. I feel like it has less to do with love and more to do with upward mobility. As much as I dislike Atlanta for the shenanigans that goes on there, I have to confess that there are MANY stable black gay couples striving out there. So it’s possible. You’re not gonna tell me that there are NO black gay men that are stable that you can be with. It’s you CHOOSING to date white or elsewhere besides your community. Dating black and wanting to be with someone black isn’t a preference or a choice, it’s mandatory for me and non negotiable. If you want to date interracially, shoutouts to you. But for me, I’ll wait for a black man to come along because they are definitely out there.

       1. Kudos,applause..don’t buy the self hating ideology..there are lots of black gay men doing things out there. I have seen gay white couples in my practice,and many of them are totally dysfunctional. The few that have money,many of them are into open relationships etc..

    2. If you go on HereTV, the gay channel, there are Black gay series, and Black gay movies. A bunch of them. Conframa, H.I.M., Cheetah in August, Blackville, etc. Tyson Anthony, Anthony Bawn, and more are directing them. There were ones in the early 2000s on YouTube, and many more now.

       Also, an out Black gay couple, Jason Bolden and Adair Curtis, is going to have their own Netflix series, Styling Hollywood, starting August 30. They are smart, together Black gay men who own their own company. I am hoping they get a lot of support. Especially from us.

       1. I’ve seen all those actually but they aren’t as mainstream as shows like QAF were. I also know of them too. I keep tabs on a lot of gay black entertainment and have supported some of Bawns and Tyson Anthony work before but not to be rude but they would need to be brought by a high profile network like HBO or Showtime. I have proposed why they can’t get the funding necessary with shows like “Looking” or “Insecure”

          1. Hey Jammy, thanks for replying. I agree that those shows weren’t as mainstream as QAF, and with some of the Anthony/Bawn series, it’s clear they could have benefitted from more $ and time to develop. But QAF was a British series that was redone in the US and had lots of money backing it.

             Drama Queenz, which was on back in 2009-12, and Street Behavior, which came on back in 2013, were along these lines but set in NYC instead of Atlanta. Then there was Giants, which was really polished, and ran from 2017-18. I really wish they could re-up that one, because it was so well written, produced and acted, and the actors–James Bland, Sean Samuels, Terence Terrell, etc., were excellent.

             The problem often is funding and support. With Noah’s Arc, Logo canceled them in part because they claimed they didn’t have enough viewers, even though they received calls to keep the show on the air, and I remember seeing that it was doing pretty well in terms of viewers. It had a dedicated audience, but it was nowhere near as large as (all-white) “QAF” or (somewhat more diverse) “Looking,” which got pulled off the air too. That’s an ongoing problem. It’s why I hope people support Styling Hollywood. (I mean, I hope the brothas have good politics, etc., but even seeing a Black gay couple on mainstream in 2019 is a huge deal.)

             1. I’m normally always down for supporting Black on Black stuff and as I said, I’m not against interracial relationships or anything but I would just like to see more representation and mainstream. I know there are Black couples out there and everything I just want to see more of that.

                Representation matters on a great level. I’m not a huge Marvel fan but it was so great to Black Panther ignite the hearts of little black boys and girls who grew up to predominantly white superheroes. Like Captain America (who they do have a black version of but I’ll hold my breath believing people will accept it.)

                Even, my overgrown ass was happy to see Black Panther though I know of Blade & Spawn, Blankman and all that already…etc

                So I say the same for Black LGBTQ youth.

                I know a lot of us grew up in very homophobic hypermasculine God fearing households and it’s crazy that when you went to school you get the same attitude, when you cut on the TV and listen to music…you get the same thing. Homophobia. Even tho it occurs with whites too, Black people seem to only care about Black men.

                Black men are supposed to be leaders, are so supposed to be strong, are supposes to be kings…but If you’re gay bi or trans, you’re weak, to be a disgrace to God, trying to be a woman and will never have a normal life because you are less than we are.

                Boy would it be great alongside Styling Hollywood (which I’ll check out) for them to show that Black gay, bi and trans people are people too who can be just as if not more successful that the “my way of life is right” straights.

12. HERE WE GO AGAIN.. So tired of these sambos ,self hating Physically Black Looking Men abandoning brothers.. They can have him.. He will go no where,,,, Shaking my head

13. I think I’ll be single for the rest of my life.

14. Lying and cheating goes on in white, black, Latino, blue, purple communities, and everywhere, however, the white guys will buy a house together, open a restaurant, invest, travel together, and build together to the point that cheating and lying can be forgiven or they can agree to have an open relationship and work things out because they actually built something together.

    In black communities, we weren’t talk how to build healthy relationships or how to save and invest money and build a community. We’ve always had so many other things to worry about as black men. Most of us also don’t have money that has been passed down from granddaddy like whites.

15. We tend to feel free to be ourselves with white guys. Because they tend to be accepting, we feel more comfortable opening up to them and allowing them in our lives. They are also more likely to have better careers and be in the position to settle down and actually WANT build a life together. They also know to live someone, which i believe makes us want to “come out” and live our truth.

16. I’ll tell you why we don’t date our own—-we have nothing to offer in hopes of anything long term. We feel we have to put in a facade with each other. Most black guys are hoes, liars, and cheaters, the attractive ones you really want are broke, wanna smoke weed all day, and got bad credit, some are DL and will never claim you or take you to meet the family or stick around and build a life together, the black gay community is non existent and dislike each other. Let’s fight….

    1. @TruthHurts

       It really does hurt when you’re right 🙁

    2. ^ooooooooh!!!

       that’s deep truth.

       don’t they have similar stuff in the white and latino gay communities as well?

    3. That’s nonsense..I have lots of black friends that does none of what U mentioned, I however have seem
       Many white clients in my practice that foot your bill. U have g ood n bad in all races so to make a sweeping generalization is insane. I personally doen’t count him as a loss. We really know little about him except that he’s a wannabe ball player. That isn’t on the top of my list to look for in a relationship. Wish him well. What happened to Michael Sam, I read he went back home, tried to repair his relationship with his fam..good for him.

17. I’m just gonna admit I how feel affer clicking on this post.

    It went from a feeling of pride and congratulatory emotions to the predictable sadness of yet another quality black man choosing a non black partner. 🙁

    Anyhoo, I wish him well but I’d rather forget him.

18. Another breadfruit negro who hasn’t learnt anything from Sam’s lessons. Who gives a fuck who he’s sleeping with until he decided to tell the world…SMH….and what’s new with him , nothing as hes just following most of the athletes around the world that are BLEACHED by Babylons culture and they fall into the trap of racial sexualization parading as love.

    SMH…well now that he’s OUT watch the love fade, just like Sam’s so called love. Some negroes are drunk by guzzling down the white kool aid.

19. Michael Sam was not good enough which is why he’s not on a team

20. I am glad he found the courage to come out of the closet because very few do. At the same time, I understand the people that are tired of a lack of representation of successful gay black couples in Hollywood, but I truly believe some of these guys would not date their own even if they were not famous. Some of them probably were rejected by those in their race as well. I think we will get a famous black gay couple in the near future. It is just a matter of time.

    1. ^ill get into why my cousin hybrid dates white males more in another entry.
       he made a really interesting point

       1. I have to hear what your cousin have to say.. Frankly I think it’s odd that soo many do.. Coming from Jamaica where I see other Black men, women as equal, worthy and with the history of racism against Black people I find it puzzling at times. I have my own theory based on my observations as a Psychotherapist but I won’t get into it here.. Some people are in denial and can’t deal with my my my theory as it causes self reflection.. Is it the same as all the Black men, women who when they think they’ve made it end up marrying outside of their race.. How unusual, as it’s not as noticeable in other races. They tend to marry in their own.

       2. Ooh, I can’t wait I’m sure it’ll be very eye-opening for sure.

21. I hope he thought about the repercussions of this move and wasn’t influenced to go so public. I hope he doesn’t end up like the other one before him.

    1. ^you know that’s happening!

       if the boyfriend was black,
       would folks stand behind him?

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