they say you are “too picky”.
you listen.
they say you want something that doesn’t exist.
you listen.
they say you need to settle.
you listen.
so then you look in the mirror and wonder…
Is this why I’m single?
well you listened.
is it because you aren’t involved in the “hook up culture”?
you listened.
should i be on hook up sites sleeping with every “dick” or “in hairy”?
welp!
you listened.
so then you are forced to look around at everyone else.
the jackal is getting with the wolf you want.
the ratchet that has them climbing down her walls.
the common folks are doing more datin’ and fuckin’…
…and then you realized this is why you are single.
you aren’t like everyone else.
why is that such a problem?
when did “being different” become the worst thing in the world?
well i want you to remember something when you decide to listen to an idiot…
have you realized that in your all your pickiness,
you have actually achieved things taking you towards your best life?
i mean being picky has its perks for some.
well the smart ones.
you might be in school.
you might even have a degree or two.
you maybe trying to decide where to take your career now.
what if you have no degree?
well you have a job.
you got money to pay your bills and you have your own spot.
maybe you share it with someone else to help with the rent.
either way you are on your own and free to do what you want..
lets not forget to mention that your wardrobe.
you murders em when you walk in the room.
everyone is envious of your fox/wolf/hy-swagg.
you also don’t just let anyone into your life.
you are really serious to your inner peace.
while everyone else has entertaining drama,
you are usually sitting from the sidelines in a front row seat.
see when you are picky,
it forces you to go after what you truly want.
you might be lonely,
but i’d rather be lonely than doing bad and lost out in these streets.
worst?
settling with:
tyrone
pookie
day day
tatalicious
“the boi”
want the best in life and expect it.
you know you are the co-creator of your life,
so why waste it giving any and everyone a free tour inside your walls?
another thing about being picky is the way you live your life,
subconsciously speaking,
it starts to take the role of the wolf/hybrid/fox you desire.
meaning: you do/act/and go places the person you want will be at.
mani/pedi specials
spa weekend every month
treating yourself to something expensive from bloomies or barneys
weekend getaways to unfamiliar destinations to explore
workshops and classes to help enhance your mind
= gold digga lifestyle
^that could be you.
believe that could be you.
so be picky with what you want.
what is for you will recognize you.
the people you looking at,
the ones that are settling with ratchets,
they simply meeting those dating on their level.
whats the quote?
dating their self esteem?
yeah.
…and then got the nerve to complain?
so be grateful he/they don’t want you.
the one for you will show face soon.
the best part?
he will be that missing piece to the puzzle you built on your own.
he should fit in with your swagg perfectly.
I used to wonder about this all the time that maybe the fact that I’m single is because I’m am so focused on a certain type of dude. I tend to like guys who are naturally masculine, good looking face wise and have hella swag. Most of the time these have been straight guys that I’ve come in contact with. Which ends up with me Crushing hard lol.
For me I just can’t settle and try to go out with someone that I’m not into just to say “look I’m dating or like I’m with someone” The few guys I have hooked up with have mostly if not all all been my type. Sure is less than others but I’m fine with knowing that I have been with men that truly get me Hot.
I look at other gay guys ones who are all up in this lifestyle on social media partying here fucking here And while it seems fun they seem to have the most drama behind the scenes. I’m good the way I am I know God is working on me for all the blessings ( fine ass wolf included).
I thought I was crazy for a second because I thought I was being too picky. Luckily, I realized that I have lot to offer someone, experienced the highs and lows of various types of relationships, and know what I want and deserve from a potential life partner.
We all have picks and things we are looking at in an individual. I just had a conversation with one of my friends on this subject. Regardless male or female we want certain attributes when it comes to the person you want to be involved with point blank.
And being picky come from experiences too. I used to be very open-minded with dating different ethnicities, body types and personalities which have made me very picky because I realized you can’t date just anyone, there are types for a reason.
I honestly don’t have some prototype of what I want anymore and I think that’s a sign of maturity.
I don’t have it in my head that special someone has to have light eyes or be 6’2 tall. A lot of us never even make it out of that phase.
It’s freeing though. You have no preconceived notions of what the package is supposed to come in and I’m attracted to many things so I’m prepared to receive whatever the universe has for me, even if that means a path of a career I dedicate my life to or my own path of self discovery instead of love.
^ I relate to this. I dont have a “prototype” until I see it, moreover, he looks different every time. There’s not much criteria. Its more of a personality thing these days, but I do have my preferences.
It is very liberating indeed.
This post will resonate with the gays who are looking for more than cruising and fucking random men. That is becoming the standard way of living for us. Maybe gays need to take on the heterosexual way of dating. Going out, phone calls, and getting to know each other on intimate levels. Do we even know how to be true friends anymore? I cringe when I hear that we shouldn’t live like heterosexuals but then I’m told I need to be at every sex party in my city as the fat ass to get fucked on a dirty mattress. Was I born and accepted my sexuality to be a hoe? We as gay men are all lonely and it doesn’t hurt to want more substance out of a mate.
Cause I feel like you’ve been spying on me. Lol. This whole post literally describes my life at the moment, every word resonated. You’re the best Jamari!
I need to see examples of where gay men are “settling”.
I don’t think it’s in their nature from my experience, especially when you can get on your phone and find the next ass or dick 0.05 miles away.
I understand why some women and straight men settle because they want a stable family and home life, but kids and marriage isn’t necessary the goal for most gay men…at least not very soon.
Unless you mean “settling” by using a less attractive man for his money or “settling” for being a late night creep.
If anything they’re uncompromising, which isn’t necessarily something to be proud of because we ALL have our baggage.
All I’m saying is most gays aren’t on the same time table as heterosexuals who are trying to have a family and kids by a certain age, so we’re not in situations where we are sometimes forced to “settle” or “compromise” like a woman that wants to have kids before she can’t anymore.
Gays could really troll A4A, Jackd, adult bookstores and gym lockerrooms for as long as they please.
^settling for being a late night creep.
we have a different way of dating.
hell is it even dating or is it simply fucking?
people have told me settle.
then again these are people who wanted me and tried to manipulate me into choosing them.
wasn’t interested.
the point is be picky with what you want.
someone is tired of doing random cruising and wants something serious.
Or maybe we don’t believe we could ever get anything serious because all we do is fuck?
settling in the gay world = being the fuck until fucked out the game.
going from fox to hybrid because your walls are done for.
fact or fiction?
Well it all depends on what someone’s idea of settling is.
Some people think accepting anything other than exactly what they want is settling.
If you keep chasing the same types to no avail, perhaps the universe is trying to tell you something?
I firmly believe if you find yourself in the same vicious cycle with different dudes, you’re the common denominator.
People get offended when asked “why are you single?”, but with gays I usually find there’s always a reason. I’d rather you be upfront with your flaws so I can let you know if I want to “settle” for you and vice versa.
^unfortuantely,
In a perfect world,
everyone would have your common sense.
this isn’t a perfect world sadly.
plus in this life,
you can get with what you think is the great guy and he be the worst.
let’s not act like these gay sites have easy ways to meet guys,
but a majority be on fuck shit.
this life is truly luck based.
sometimes you find yourself chasing the wrong men,
real life or social media,
because deep down we all have an idea of what we want and sometimes the universe presents it to us in the most fucked up and awkward way.
I agree 100%
I could have many kats right now, but it’s not the kats that I’d want…other than for a night. The ones that try to holla at me are the ones that are looking for someone to take care of them…the hood-rats and street thug bums. That’s NOT gonna be me. They think the silver tongue and dick tales will get them what they want…and it’s not gonna happen. So you stay single Jamari, and don’t worry about it! I sure as hell don’t.
Because the ones that SETTLE are the ones who are unhappy and caught up in drama.
^you are right c.
i want someone who isn’t a dumb ass.
that tends to be a search,
but i’m willing to continue to upgrade my life until he comes along.
You tell no lies and Jamari I finish house of cards. It was good to me.
^yay i’m glad you liked k!
i hated what dude did to chick he let go.
that part bothered me for a while.
i even tweeted her and told her LOL
i’m such a dork.