i’m not really into gay clubs/bars.
depending on the event,
i’m not into the straight ones either.
well that is unless i’m in VIP.
i don’t do “on the floor”; no j.lo.
last night a hybrid associate wanted me to come out.
he knew i was depressed so he wanted me to “remember” what fun the city was.
i thought we were going to a restaurant or something.
no.
oh no.
he wanted me to meet his new snow fox that he has been messing with for two months.
“you made me miss breaking bad and devious maids for this?” i asked, when i arrived downtown.
“he’ll pay for your food and dranks.”
“…okay so where we going.”
“a gay bar.”
“oh jesus.”
i wanted to turn around…
…but i decided to stay and see where the night would lead.
i could have met someone.
if it wasn’t for my ( x google maps ),
we would still be looking for this bar.
when we finally arrived,
it was pretty packed with vanilla with sprinkles of chocolate.
the wolves that was behind the bar tho?
they had no shirts and had the nicest bodies ive seen up close in a while.
my horny meter rose a little.
more than likely they were straight and shirtless for tips.
in the crowd there were no “paul walkers” or “chace crawfords”.
a lot of “basic”,
“old”,
and “average”.
the snow fox was very nice.
he was cute,
masculine,
and fun sized.
i could see the appeal.
he works at a investment banking firm.
i think my hybrid is messing with him for the money,
but he doesn’t want to admit it.
as they talked,
i just observed the atmosphere.
it was really different playing in the snow.
one thing i noticed is the differences.
the black gays who were in there besides me and my friend: all queens.
they were voguing and twerking to every song that was playing.
the white gays were talking and playing pool.
many of them you couldn’t even tell.
some reminded me of the ones whose parents would faint if they knew.
the ones who moved to new york to be “themselves”.
come from good families with money.
you know.
don’t even get me started on the all the fag hags everywhere.
at least they weren’t like the black ones.
the snow bunnies actually were tame.
“are you bored?” the snow fox asked.
i wanted to say “hell yeah”.
there was no one in there that caught my eye.
it was cold as hell and i was tired of hearing katy perry and top 40.
i had three of my new found drank,
( x amaretto sour ),
and i was checking out the half nekkid bartenders.
my horny meter was on “hoe”.
the only people giving me the eye were the black queens.
i got a few head nods and even a “hey baby”.
that was my cue to bounce.
plus i wanted to leave before the train became local again.
being the that bar made me realized i don’t really fit in anywhere.
not in the gay bars or around the straights.
i’m just kinda “there”.
i’m not the type to jump on a table and start twerk,
not one to walk up to someone,
but i do like to have one and one conversations.
maybe the bar isn’t my scene?
something more intimate?
one that isn’t a sex party or glory hole.
so then i ask:
Where?
Sigh…
Jamari I have to agree with Tajan and Thinker. Ditch the club scene. Join gay or straight organizations that are meeting for a cause. For instance in DC and Baltimore there are rowing clubs, book clubs, bowling clubs etc. for gay and straights. There are organizations such as Us Helping Us and the HRC where you can volunteer or get politically active. Also keep socializing with a select group of friends. In a typical week I play shades with a small group of gay guys, do Happy Hour with buddies, volunteer with my church (which has several gay members), and every few weeks I hit a gay bar because I like to dance. And of course there are gyms. I go to one thats not that cruisy. On days I want to flirt I will hit a cruisier one. Just remember you have plenty of options besides tired bars.
Its so funny that you think you are the only one over the club scene in your city, and you come on here and you realize that even in NYC, so many people have the same feeling about going out to clubs. Its like nothing but the fems and over the top loud obnoxious queens come out anymore. The last gay bars I went to, had a mixed population of black, white and latino and in both places dudes came up to me and ask me was I straight. I was like damn, why would I be in a gay club if i was straight, but then I saw all the fem queens everywhere, and I took it as a compliment. I had one snow fox tell thank me for partying with the gays, and being open minded, the gays were really cool good people. I got the biggest chuckle out of that one. Most black guys at these mixed spots will not pay any other black guys any attention, I guess they go to these spots to attract snow wolves. My main complaint about the gay club scene is that their are not a variety of men who go, its always a over abundance of fems dudes and nothing else and also why are so many young people so out of shape. I have never seen so many young skinny fat dudes in my life, and they all wanna come up to you because you work out. Things have change so much just in the last 10yrs in the gay life. I just end up getting depressed when I go out to gay spots. I strictly now try to keep it at private house parties or invite only parties. I actually get more attention from dudes at straight spots, and the dudes look way better, times have really changed.
Sounds like G Lounge in Chelsea (NYC)
Jamari I feel you. I have stopped going out all together for the same reason. One night, I was at this club in DC and as I looked around the only thing I had in common with the majority of the people there was that I am attracted to men. I went to the club high off weed and a couple drinks..got there and ordered more and smoked some more. In my stupor, I had a good conversation with myself. If I had to medicate myself to be there then there is something wrong. It’s not that I have problems with my sexuality or feel that I am better than anyone else. I realized that the bar/club scene was not my thang and I walked myself back to my apt. I came to the realization that I would be better off exploring my interest outside of the scene. I went to French meetups, galleries, dance classes and found just as many available “dates” and potential friends. It’s been a decade and I have not looked back since.
I personally love a bar… However if that’s not your scene, try lounges, or more structured events, of which you can find on Living Social, Thrillist, or your local city or gay newspaper. Or do what I often do and make your own fun!
It sound like you weren’t feeling the snow bunnies and the chocolate sprinkles. You need to go to a salsa club where you can dance, laugh, and move your hips around. But in all honesty you need to get yourself a spanish wolf.
How to attract Spanish wolves:
1) My best advice on how to get one is by shaving your beard or have the same style like them.
2) Do some workout on the legs & butt because I know my spanish men, we have an addiction for thick thighs and Iris Chacon butt.
3) Learn some salsa & bachata dances.
4) You better know how to cook especially spanish food like pernil(pork), platanos, rice, and black beans.
5) Learn how to kiss which will give you major points; go to youtube and search how to kiss because Latin men are very funny when it come to kissing, let me tell you, if you are lousy he will leave, but if you’re good then Gracias a dios!
6) It cute to be a fox, but it sexy to be a tiger; spanish wolves love to be seduce and challenge.
7) Beside being a seductive and tough, you gotta be sweet too and make him feel like a man, you know, give him a massage and stroke his hair then kiss him on the cheek and whisper into his ear to say “Yo quiero oir tu pensamiento, tu voz, tu amor.” and kiss him again.
8) Wear tight clothing because spanish people in general love to see the figure of the body.
I don’t do those types of environments either. I would have been bored too. You must be really masc. for queens to hit on you because they can spot a fake a mile away lol.
Where you fit in is totally up to you. You fit in wherever you feel most comfortable.
all i did was sit there,
look at people,
and guessed what they were talkin about.
my drank was bomb tho.
i was about to buy the ingredients today.
A good movie on Netflix a 40 or a glass of wine and I’m good at home. I notice when i go out I get bored super easy. Unless I’m sober then party where I am lol
I have a friend who likes going to Gay piano bars, less of a meat marker.But the crowd does skew older.
Off topic Mister Cee just did PSA on sexual freedom .WOW from closeted to activist in less than a week.
I feel the same way every time I go out. I figured maybe it was something wrong with me. I’m just not excited about the club atmosphere. I just smile, nod, and make small talk while throwing back the drinks.