i watched my baby faavah, michael myers, in “halloween kills” and…

as you know from my ( x scream ) entry,
i am a huge slasher movie buff.
out of all the slasher movie killers,
i am scared of michael myers.
its the slow walking and heavy breathing for me.
i liked the story of this killing machine who stalks his sister,
laurie strode.
well in the new remake of halloween,
they changed the story that he is some random psycho stalking a random laurie strode.

 

she isn’t related to him at all in this new version which kills the whole vibe for me.
i went to see ( x the remake with hunter back in 2018 ) and hated it.
i watched the sequel on peacock,
halloween kills,
today and (with heavy spoilers)…

– the kills were pretty intense.
i’ll give em that.
michael was not playing when he was throwing paws.

– it wasn’t scary or thrilling.
i didn’t jump once,
twice,
or three times.

– the random survivors were super random.
they made the plot even more confusing with all the flashbacks.

– the “taraji p. henson” and her goofy husband made me eye-roll so hard.
their deaths were exquisite tho.

– is everyone in haddonfield stupid?

– NO ONE IN THIS TOWN KNOWS HOW TO SHOOT A GUN????????????

– why couldn’t this old black lady who couldn’t get out her own house?

– why would anyone even move into michael’s old crib?
like,
doesn’t he go back there every halloween?

– they could have killed off laurie strode.
she brought absolutely nothing to this movie.

– i’m glad the annoying daughter was killed off.

– we have established that michael is pretty much immortal,
right?
i’m guessing his mask is his source of super strength.

– why do people think they can tango with michael?
its cute.
they all thought they could go toe to toe with michael.
none of them know how to shoot or are experts in combat.

– did michael myers train under jason statham?
he was very agile in his old age.

– why did they think the mental escapee was michael?
i thought that part was stupid.

i’m glad the movie was terrible tho.
it reinforces that:

a – they shouldn’t have changed what wasn’t broken

b – watching these movies on streaming services help us make better choices with our money

i would be annoyed af if i paid to watch halloween kills.
if you wanna watch it for some gore,
go right ahead.
if not,
you’re not missing anything.

you can watch halloween kills for free on: peacock

10 thoughts on “i watched my baby faavah, michael myers, in “halloween kills” and…

  1. This was hilarious. I can’t watch these kinds of movies alone. I need someone to tell me when it’s okay to look!

      1. The should have stopped at “Halloween: 20 Years Later”. That was a perfect ending. If they were gonna reboot it they should have done it from scratch with new everybody. They gonna beat this horse until it winds up like “Chucky”! Now a sequel I would watch is a proper “Jeepers Creepers”.

        1. Yeah, H20 should’ve been the end…but you know Hollywood is all about the $$$. If the movie makes a lot of money, they will find a way to bring a mofo back. I agree with Jamari in that I hate they took away the sister aspect of things. What is his purpose for killing then? Yeah he’s supposed to be evil, but there should be a purpose too. Him trying to get his remaining sibling was a great motivator. I’ll watch this, but I don’t expect much from these slasher films.

          Jeepers Creepers 1 & 2 were pretty good. The third one, like dagreatgazoo said, was bad. There was talk of another film, with the Creeper going after the people who escaped him in the second film, along with the Derry’s sister from the first film.

      2. I agree with most of your assessment. It wasn’t that bad but it was all over the place. The most annoying thing was nobody could fucking shoot AND nobody popped a few in Mike’s head when they finally got his ass down at the end. Plus that damn cop in the beginning shouldn’t even been a cop cause he stayed missing shots.

  2. You know they calling him homophobic because he killed the gay couple. He killed everything in his path. If you was not in his way he didn’t do nothing.

    The story is confusing because Laurie is not his sister. She was the baby sitter next door. What made me mad was when they waited until the end of the movie to play his theme song. They played that every time he killed in the original. They played this goofy ass music and it was not scary at all. It was gory.

    Apparently Michael was cursed as a little boy and he had to sacrifice his family to get his strength which makes him invincible because he has a curse that makes him stronger when he regenerates. Thats why when he stops you think he is dead and when you least expect it, he gets stronger and kills everybody. The way he killed them in his backyard. They whooped his ass with bats and he went to sleep and killed all they ass when they thought he was dead.

    1. ^ oh Jesus.

      he killed them because they were in his old house LOL
      everyone is so sensitive and self absorbed like him killing that gay couple was about them.
      the one husband annoyed me and i was happy to see him go.

  3. Loved your analysis of the movie! I didn’t think it was as great as the 2018 movie, however the death scenes were gory AF and I wasn’t expecting certain people to die

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