i knew that going back to my old forest would be good for me.
well,
 it might be bad for one thing.
shopping.
there are so many stores over there.
i needed new work clothes and i bought some.
174 dollars worth of “some”.
i know.
i know.
i’m right next to the cologne spot so that’s next.
since i was in my old work forest,
i ended up meeting up with one of my old co workers.
one who is still at my old company,
after all these years…

when she saw me,
she screamed.
everyone looked.
if i was white,
i’d be red.
she looked the same.
good black definitely don’t crack.
she told me how good i looked and how i have “glo’d up”.
i last saw her like that was like 9+ years ago.
when i first got there,
i was a “young jamari fox”.
bright eyed and indeed bushy tailed.
i was very determined to learn the corporate trenches.
it was like my first legit corporate job in fashion.
i am not that fox anymore.

she is still there tho.
as we talked,
she couldn’t stop stressing how unhappy she was.
she even told me how she was struggling.
i could see the sadness in her eyes as i listened to her rants.
i wanted to tell her she is too good for that job.
she is.
her singing career was her first priority,
but she put it to the side due to cubs and no time to audition.

I knew the feeling

it’s not easy to leave a job,
as much as it’s hard to find one when you are without.
it made me think about overstaying your welcome in a toxic situation.
everyone thinks its so easy to just leave,
but more often than not,
you get comfortable in the bullshit.
i’ve been there.
a few times.
if i didn’t get fired from both of those toxic jobs,
there would be no “this”.
i would have been stuck at the job,
still complaining,
dealing with my old boss,
and all the other bs that came with it.
it felt normal putting up with the bullshit because i was “getting paid”.

FUCK THAT

“wisdom is better than silver and gold.”
i’ve learned it doesn’t get any better the longer you stay.
no matter the situation,
it will continue to get worst.
simple as that.

lowkey: just like it’s hard to leave abusive relationships,
it’s hard to leave abusive jobs.
until you have completely had enough and just leave,
your comfort level will continue to play tricks on your mind.