i really come thru for people.
sometimes a little too much in all honesty.
i guess the advice i give is usually effective.
today was another day of a friend needing my help.
my vixen friend texted me a couple of paragraphs,
it beginning and ending with:
“i’m through”
i knew it was either an emergency or a long ass poem…
something woke me up out my nap.
it was damn near 100 degrees outside,
my a/c was blasting,
and i was pretty much naked.
nothing better than the cool air touching my fresh skin.
before i went to sleep,
i turned my phone on vibrate,
but something told me to check it.
my friend was having a crisis.
she usually has nowhere to turn when she has issues.
her baby father was at it again.
she had to work today,
but her baby daddy bailed on watching their son.
surprised?
this nigga been fuckin’ up when it comes to their kid.
not to mention they were suppose to get married,
but he ended up getting four other females pregnant.
so she had to bring him to work with her,
but due to policy,
she couldn’t stay.
she really needed that check too.
“i’m about to start bawling in this train station.”
“please don’t because i’m sure people are staring.”
“i hate that my son will not know what it’s like to have a father. he will grow up to be a thug standing on the corner.”
i wanted to slap her.
how are you just gonna jump forward in life like that?
i had to ask her if she would allow that?
would be let her son grow up to be raga?
“no its just what i see.”
well stop “seeing”.
start “being”.
start “doing”.
just because what she sees is the rule,
doesn’t mean her life isn’t the exception.
there are a ton of fatherless kids that grow up to be successful men.
she can’t bring her son down already.
seriously?
stop it.
she started to calming down.
i told her to get that muthafucka stuck for that child support.
since he wants to play “missing”,
then lets start by a couple of hundreds every week missing from his wallet.
again: i couldn’t be a baby mama.
i would be “that crazy black bitch” on his phone.
i’ll show up at his door with my 22 loaded.
play with me and my child.
after i made her laugh and asked for a smile,
she agreed and hung up.
i can tell she was feeling a lot better than she did.
another satisfied life saved from bullshit.
sometimes i remind myself of k michelle.
i think that’s why i sympathize with her… sometimes.
sometimes she goes way too far.
i’m still side eying her over that johnny crome situation.
she cares too much.
i care too much.
i hate it most of the time.
i am very passionate about people i love.
maybe i need to stop that?
it’s just the foxi way, i guess.
i’m often left wondering:
Who will do the same for me?
As hard as it may be, sometimes we have to stop answering the phone and being there for our friends and family, sometimes people need to see you not in their life in order to appreciate you. When you stop doing people began to take notice. I am practicing this and I admit it is really hard because I have always been the type of person to put everybody before me and I ended up miserable, bitter, hurtful and every other range of emotions and those people I helped gave no fucks about me. Just this morning had a close to friend to call me with an emergency, this jigga always has some type of situation that needs fixing, I have helped him out countless times, out of more money than I will ever admit and still its the same old shit. I told him that the people who he has invested in and made deposits too he needs to call on them for help when he needs a withdrawal, he didnt catch what I was saying at first, but when he did he went off cursing me out, and I knew I made the right choice in not offering him any more assistance.
I am so tired of all these one sided friendship and all these grown ass people making these bad ass choices and getting upset when the shit doesnt work out and want you to help fix it. I tell them now to buy a fucking vowel and solve their own damn puzzle. I am a good boy gone bad, I have been telling people the real here lately and gives no fucks who feelings are hurt, grow up and put on your big draws cause aint nobody got time for the bullshit.
When she was bussing her pussy open for a “real nigga” I’m sure she knew the man was claming down other bitches…. don’t act brand new
I agree with you 100%! I used to say never get tired of doing the right thing, but that’s way easier said than done.
I feel you. I too always feel like I’m helping someone else, but no one is helping me when I need to be helped.
Look on the bright side, more energy into focusing on a career n yourself.
^that is true.
thank you for allowing me to see the other side.
It maybe a lonely path for a while, but as the time goes on you meet new people who will be in the same space that you want to be in emotionally and career wise, more supportive and understanding, where a relationship works both ways and can be a true relationship like you have had.
Most of the time no one will and many people don’t realize it. I was like that too until it started to become too much. I can only imagine those other conversations when it came to discussing additional baby mama’s. For me it took a major life chance condition to get to the point that not everyone needs to be in your life, sure it gets tiresome having to be self sufficient and the only reliable person you have is you but sometimes that’s life, and if you want it to change you’d have to check those around you on their selfishness. Then you see who your friends really are.
^it sucks, ya know?
this era I’m in right now has shown me who was my friend,
and who is just “here”.
i feel I’ve been self sufficient most of my life ever since my parents died,
it gets tiresome.
sometimes I want to be pampered.
appreciated.
that’s why I write so much on here.
this is all I have that makes me feel wanted.
it makes me sad I’m not super popular,
always somewhere to go,
someone to call when I need “someone”.
I guess I would neglect this site because you can’t have both.
Well why do you want to be super popular?
Then you’d be on the other side of the fence, those that would rely on you would begin to realize your importance in their life because then you’d be neglecting them, sometimes its good to speak up to those who neglect you if you want it to change and to not suck anymore. We all have the opportunity to change our situations, yet many of us choose not to because we fear the outcome
^i have this twisted way of thinking sometimes.
super popular people,
like celebs for instance,
always have something to do or somewhere to go.
maybe not super popular,
but I’d like to be super connected.
be in control,
rather than having to rely on someone else.
im gonna start telling some of these people their ways.
i already had to do it earlier this week.
he slip and fell back to his old ways.
another dude I had to tell hasn’t returned my call,
another line through a name.